Monday, 13 October 2025

Kettering, Kettering......

....why do you make it so hard for us?  We want to support and adore you, but you make it so difficult sometimes.  Why?  Why drive us into a whirlwind of doubt and fear when you could make it so much easier for everyone?

Obviously by losing a wedge of games you are going to annoy a small section of the fanbase who simply cannot grasp HOW it can come to pass that we don't finish every game victorious, with our opponents crumpled at our feet.  The same people who bemoan that they have just seen, "the worst Poppies performance EVER" whenever those playing us dare even to compete.  These people are never going to be happy campers within the wider Poppies fraternity.  It's victory ever week or they will throw a wobbler.  You can't keep these people happy and you shouldn't try to.

Others lose the faith whenever rumours begin to swirl about unhappy or unpaid players and immediately jump to conclusions whenever a disgruntled player posts literally anything vaguely critical and poorly punctuated on social media.  Their instinct is to blindly believe anything said by a player or even a friend of a friend of someone who once spoke to a player's cousin.  A player leaving us can only be irrefutable evidence of the imminent winding-up of the club and that we should all organise a boycott straight away.  Unfortunately, conspiracy theorists can rarely be argued with on any sane level, so it's also difficult to keep these guys happy either.

But the vast majority of us are far more balanced and even-handed when it comes to our support for and understanding of the club.  We don't worship at the feet of the owners when we turn over the Cobblers in the FA Cup, but also don't burn them in effigy when we ship a 95th minute equaliser.  We are the quiet majority.  We may not praise the club to high heaven and tattoo the names of players onto our torsos in the good times, but we also don't shy away from midweek fixtures in February either.  The problem is, when THESE supporters are pondering what is going on at the club it's pretty clear there are questions for the Board of Directors and Management Committee to answer.

This week's second departure of Nile Ranger seems to be the latest tipping-point for the majority of the fan base.  Not simply the fact he's (probably) gone.  Players come and go.  That's football.  Doubly so in the NN15 postcode area.  It's not even that some of our support have a wildly-inflated view of Nile's talents well beyond what the rest of us can see.  

It's accepted knowledge he was on a ridiculously good screw at the Poppies.  Not that Nile was the only overly expensive trinket we seem to have acquired - we now have a shiny, seemingly enormously-expensive scoreboard.  The club has also splashed out on refurbishing a local community centre for reasons not entirely apparent to most of us, seeing that we already have an under-utilised, recently refurbished clubhouse at Latimer Park.  It's not clear if the costs of these projects are hung round the necks of the owners or the club itself, but both seem indulgent when, at the same time, we'll soon be stumbling down to the carpark in almost complete darkness after a post-match stop-off to our rudimentary toilet facilities.  Upgrades that may not be as flashy as scoreboards or community centres, but improvements far more necessary to the average supporter.

Stir into the steaming pot of discontentment the ever-swirling rumours of shoddy accounting, unpaid bills, court cases, volunteers stepping away and the constant appeals for free labour and you soon have a bubbling stew of suspicion.  

Even the least-demanding, incurious Poppies fan (assuming such a beast exists) is left wondering what is going on at Latimer Park. Without a Cup run or romping to the top of the table to distract the supporters there are a lot of questions we are looking to have answered.  With,"Is Hollyhead the right man for the job" being the very least of them.

Simon Hollyhead - another Poppies
Manager visibly ageing in front of us....




Thursday, 2 October 2025

Double-Barrel Blasts from the Past

We at Patgod Towers were jolted by a couple of unexpected reminders of Rockingham Road days in the past week.  It is difficult for supporters of our mighty age to fully grasp just how long we have been absent from our spiritual home.  Our last competitive game at our old stadium took place on the 30th April 2011 when 1400 of us watched the final game of the 2010-11 season blithely unaware it would be for the last time.  Two late Poppies goals relegated our opponents of the day, Southport, from the National League.  At least temporarily.  Within days Southport were reprieved as a tsunami of crap overwhelmed Rushden & Direones and then very nearly dragged us down too.  But this is a story oft discussed and doesn't need to be aired again.  At least not today.

A player called Jon Challinor scored our third goal that day back in Spring 2011, and by extension the last goal scored at Rockingham Road.  He had been a bit-part player for the second half of the season and this was his only goal for Kettering.  We wasn't retained for the following season, when we were too busy eyeing up the vistas of Nonce Park and plundering Real Madrid for players to bother with the likes of Challinor, a player who was the very definition of "journeyman".  Early 30's and more clubs than whichever golfer is named these days to suggest "a lot of clubs".  Sorry, but I still say Jack Nicholas, and even I know that immediately dates me!

But, something almost magical happened with Jon.  Rather than rack up another couple of dozen clubs before hanging up his boots he found HIS club.  Since 2013 he has piled-up a magnificent 400+ appearances for a single club.  This would be an entirely lovely, heartwarming story were it not for the fact that the club in question is the fetidly inbred collection of nerks and half-wits at Stamford.  But, if we can overlook this enormous issue for a moment, it is quite the achievement he is still pulling on boots at this level in his mid 40's.  And while he continues to do so there's still someone out there playing who played for us in that last match at Rockingham Road, and, despite him bench-warming for Drury's bunch of fuckwit, bumpkin arsewipes, I find this a comforting thought.  There are frighteningly few of them left.  Brett and Danny Mills are another couple who played in that last game that are still tottering around.

An ancient, knackered Jon Challinor
is assisted from the field of play
by the scary killer from Nic Roeg's
masterful movie "Don't Look Now."

Another complete shock of a former Rockingham Road luminary cropped up the other day when I was startled to find that Nathan Koo Boothe was back at the Poppies!  Don't worry - not as a player!!!

Seemingly Nathan is our "Individual Performance Coach", whatever this might entail and rejoined the club at the start of this season in a move which I'd completely missed.  Nathan's playing career couldn't have been more different to Jon's.  If Wikipedia is to be believed he racked up less than 70 career appearances, against Jon's coming up to 900.  Well over half of Nathan's scant appearances were for the Poppies both at Rockingham Road and Nonce Park.  

I don't think it unfair to say Nathan would make no-one's list of All-time Poppies Greats.  Or make the Team of the Year in any of the seasons he was with us.  Or, frankly, make any reasonable Poppies XI at any time.  But, in the continued atmosphere of bonhomie this article seems to have been written in, let's draw a line under Nathan's inability to run, head or kick a ball and remember him as someone who played for us at venerable Rocky Road.  And not simply recall him when I ironically bought his signed away shirt for a fiver during one of the many last-gasp fire-sales at Nonce Park when the club attempted to flog anything that wasn't nailed down. 

Good luck Nathan as our "Individual Performance Coach" which, curiously, is nowhere near the strangest job-title amongst our backroom staff!

It's great to have Nathan back.
In a strictly non-playing capacity.