http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15722636.stm
Why waste good money on groundsmen and all their unnecessary paraphernalia!
Sometimes Imraan is so far ahead of the curve that it makes me dizzy!
Friday, 18 November 2011
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
Imraan makes us a laughing stock (part 17)
For the third season running it would appear that our owner's skillfully constructed business plan for the season has somehow stalled before we all start Christmas shopping. What's worse, even his most vociferous supporters kinda sensed this was coming. Again.
It's clear that the players aren't doing the business, although withholding their wages, and suggesting they piss off, isn't likely to encourage them to perform better. We've no idea what attendances Imraan was expecting, except to say, probably more than we are getting. Everything at Non Park is turning to shit. So, the million dollar question is, who's fault is this amateurish chaos?
Sorry, but step forward Imraan Ladak.
The expression about where the buck stops is decidedly accurate in this case.
Most Poppies fans have given Imraan a lot of leeway during his tenure. We were in Conference North, going nowhere when he came along (a bit like Corby, except with fans). He has bankrolled a few good seasons. He and his family have invested heavily in the playing staff (generally to the detriment of everything else at the club). But let's not kid ourselves for one second that they have invested enough to be challenging for promotion. They haven't gone all "Crawley".
Sad to say, but if we were offered the exact position we were in before Imraan and his less than stellar operation came along, most of us would gladly take it. Most of us have generally see Imraan as a smart businessman who occasionally gets carried away in his football dealings, but it could be that we've all been wrong. Perhaps he is a bit of an amateur who has got lucky enough times to carry the day. Nothing about his running of the Poppies leads one to suspect hidden business acumen. Just the ability to talk a good talk and the finance to almost back it up.
Unfortunately finance is what it's all about. Imraan gets the benefit of doubt because he (hopefully) pays the bills. But let's not forget, he CHOSE to become the Chairman, he CHOSE to shell out to make us full-time on part-time attendances. He CHOSE Morell F***ing Maison to be his Manager! He CHOSE to drag us down to the banks of the Nene. No one ever put a gun to his head and demanded he fund our footballing dreams. He volunteered.
Poppynet is awash with people with axes to grind against Imraan. But you've got to ask yourself why are there so many of them, with seemingly more swelling their ranks daily? Are they all clashes of personality? Or is Imraan such a crummy boss that it is impossible to work for him for any length of time? The opinions of several dozen players, a handful of office staff, and at least a couple of managers would seem to suggest this. Does any former employee have even a remotely positive thing to say about him? I've yet to hear it.
Will the club pull out from this latest self-inflicted nosedive? Will Imraan ever answer his phone? Is Cousins prepared to let another club go to the wall to keep him in readies? Will Moses ever write anything on Twitter that doesn't make him look like a whiny 5-year old bully? Will Non Park ever feel more than a rented, temporary facility? Will the pitch ever get rolled or cut again? Will all the players leave? And, would we notice the difference?
It's clear that the players aren't doing the business, although withholding their wages, and suggesting they piss off, isn't likely to encourage them to perform better. We've no idea what attendances Imraan was expecting, except to say, probably more than we are getting. Everything at Non Park is turning to shit. So, the million dollar question is, who's fault is this amateurish chaos?
Sorry, but step forward Imraan Ladak.
The expression about where the buck stops is decidedly accurate in this case.
- Who couldn't strike an equitable deal with the admittedly greedy shits of the Pickering clan?
- Who was it who dragged us down to Non Park, despite this money pit finishing off another club?
- Who has negotiated a rent with the man who destroyed the previous tenants?
- Who appointed Morrell?
- Who agreed all the new signings, and offered them the salaries they are now apparently not worth?
- Who instinctively believes everything football agents tells him?
- Who signs players on 2-year contracts based on a 2-minute Youtube show reel?
- Who insinuated at the Wicksteed carve-up that oodles of outside sponsorship was all but signed-up?
Most Poppies fans have given Imraan a lot of leeway during his tenure. We were in Conference North, going nowhere when he came along (a bit like Corby, except with fans). He has bankrolled a few good seasons. He and his family have invested heavily in the playing staff (generally to the detriment of everything else at the club). But let's not kid ourselves for one second that they have invested enough to be challenging for promotion. They haven't gone all "Crawley".
Sad to say, but if we were offered the exact position we were in before Imraan and his less than stellar operation came along, most of us would gladly take it. Most of us have generally see Imraan as a smart businessman who occasionally gets carried away in his football dealings, but it could be that we've all been wrong. Perhaps he is a bit of an amateur who has got lucky enough times to carry the day. Nothing about his running of the Poppies leads one to suspect hidden business acumen. Just the ability to talk a good talk and the finance to almost back it up.
Unfortunately finance is what it's all about. Imraan gets the benefit of doubt because he (hopefully) pays the bills. But let's not forget, he CHOSE to become the Chairman, he CHOSE to shell out to make us full-time on part-time attendances. He CHOSE Morell F***ing Maison to be his Manager! He CHOSE to drag us down to the banks of the Nene. No one ever put a gun to his head and demanded he fund our footballing dreams. He volunteered.
Poppynet is awash with people with axes to grind against Imraan. But you've got to ask yourself why are there so many of them, with seemingly more swelling their ranks daily? Are they all clashes of personality? Or is Imraan such a crummy boss that it is impossible to work for him for any length of time? The opinions of several dozen players, a handful of office staff, and at least a couple of managers would seem to suggest this. Does any former employee have even a remotely positive thing to say about him? I've yet to hear it.
Will the club pull out from this latest self-inflicted nosedive? Will Imraan ever answer his phone? Is Cousins prepared to let another club go to the wall to keep him in readies? Will Moses ever write anything on Twitter that doesn't make him look like a whiny 5-year old bully? Will Non Park ever feel more than a rented, temporary facility? Will the pitch ever get rolled or cut again? Will all the players leave? And, would we notice the difference?
Monday, 14 November 2011
The Cup That Jeers
We’re out of the Cup. Again. This is getting to be an annual event!
I wasn’t at Sutton. It clashed with a long standing trip that I booked and paid for months ago, before the fixtures came out. I now realise this is what’s known as dodging a bullet, because rather than having to witness our exit in person, I was insulated by distance and even the expletive-loaded texts of my reporter on the scene spared me the full horror.
I say horror, but why should we be shocked, or even surprised? There are two certainties in life – taxation, and death. Next comes that near certainty – our FA Cup hopes will meet a disappointing end. It was ever thus. Until 1960 we had never beaten a League side since ‘League’ meant Leicester Fosse, and everyone was hoping for a home draw against Newton Heath. Since then we’ve only had a handful of Cup runs that threatened to put us in the hat with the big boys, some over a decade apart. In between there were an awful lot of early exits (some very early – remember Wisbech in the 1st qualifying round anyone?).
My point is that going out of the Cup in less than glorious style is for us, given our particularly long association with the competition, nearly as old and familiar as the Cup itself. Even in those years when we made it to the main draw, some of our defeats to League opposition were far from heroic. I still shudder to remember the pastings by Swindon and Cheltenham, and the flops against Plymouth and Wrexham in front of the Sky cameras. Others count as missed opportunities, like when we lost at Harry Redknapp’s Bournemouth in a replay after leading 2-0, or the day over 6,000 witnesses at Rockingham Road saw Shoey’s almighty clanger against the Cobblers.
At least in those years we got that far. My memory is stuffed with earlier traumas... Hinckley United, Stafford Rangers, HASTINGS! Even Cooper’s eventually unstoppable promotion team were derailed by Solihull in the qualifiers. All these defeats hurt, in fact during the long years when we were completely off the national FA Cup map, they hurt an awful lot because the Cup was the only way a club at our level ever attracted any wider interest, or even got its result on the radio.
And even in those days there was money to be made from a decent run, and as we were nearly always only a fortnight away from not being able to pay the players or heat the communal bath, that also mattered.
But unless time has healed the wounds I don’t recall there being such an outcry as following our defeat at the weekend, to a side only 7 places below us in the pyramid. Is this just another sign of the times - where once such things were accepted with a resigned shrug, now twitter bile is on line before the players have left the pitch (sometimes not just from Moses) and people rush to their keyboards to outdo each other in dramatic predictions of doom.
If we’d lost to Leatherhead I could understand it more, but when exactly did this motley crop of Poppies acquire the status of form horses or renowned cup fighters? I can’t imagine a team more ripe for a going over by motivated opposition than this lot, who manage to click - albeit modestly - about one game in four and the rest of the time are as disjointed as the pre-season scratch side they mostly remain.
So life must go on. Sutton Utd will have the televised clash that ITV are gagging to give them, and we’ll have many more disappointing days like this in the future.
Hopefully.
I wasn’t at Sutton. It clashed with a long standing trip that I booked and paid for months ago, before the fixtures came out. I now realise this is what’s known as dodging a bullet, because rather than having to witness our exit in person, I was insulated by distance and even the expletive-loaded texts of my reporter on the scene spared me the full horror.
I say horror, but why should we be shocked, or even surprised? There are two certainties in life – taxation, and death. Next comes that near certainty – our FA Cup hopes will meet a disappointing end. It was ever thus. Until 1960 we had never beaten a League side since ‘League’ meant Leicester Fosse, and everyone was hoping for a home draw against Newton Heath. Since then we’ve only had a handful of Cup runs that threatened to put us in the hat with the big boys, some over a decade apart. In between there were an awful lot of early exits (some very early – remember Wisbech in the 1st qualifying round anyone?).
My point is that going out of the Cup in less than glorious style is for us, given our particularly long association with the competition, nearly as old and familiar as the Cup itself. Even in those years when we made it to the main draw, some of our defeats to League opposition were far from heroic. I still shudder to remember the pastings by Swindon and Cheltenham, and the flops against Plymouth and Wrexham in front of the Sky cameras. Others count as missed opportunities, like when we lost at Harry Redknapp’s Bournemouth in a replay after leading 2-0, or the day over 6,000 witnesses at Rockingham Road saw Shoey’s almighty clanger against the Cobblers.
At least in those years we got that far. My memory is stuffed with earlier traumas... Hinckley United, Stafford Rangers, HASTINGS! Even Cooper’s eventually unstoppable promotion team were derailed by Solihull in the qualifiers. All these defeats hurt, in fact during the long years when we were completely off the national FA Cup map, they hurt an awful lot because the Cup was the only way a club at our level ever attracted any wider interest, or even got its result on the radio.
And even in those days there was money to be made from a decent run, and as we were nearly always only a fortnight away from not being able to pay the players or heat the communal bath, that also mattered.
But unless time has healed the wounds I don’t recall there being such an outcry as following our defeat at the weekend, to a side only 7 places below us in the pyramid. Is this just another sign of the times - where once such things were accepted with a resigned shrug, now twitter bile is on line before the players have left the pitch (sometimes not just from Moses) and people rush to their keyboards to outdo each other in dramatic predictions of doom.
If we’d lost to Leatherhead I could understand it more, but when exactly did this motley crop of Poppies acquire the status of form horses or renowned cup fighters? I can’t imagine a team more ripe for a going over by motivated opposition than this lot, who manage to click - albeit modestly - about one game in four and the rest of the time are as disjointed as the pre-season scratch side they mostly remain.
So life must go on. Sutton Utd will have the televised clash that ITV are gagging to give them, and we’ll have many more disappointing days like this in the future.
Hopefully.
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Who will rid me of this turbulent Alan Green?
 |
| Alan Green. Loves Spain. Hates England. |
As if the drive back from Sutton wasn't grim enough we had to sit through Alan Green's commentary of England against Spain. Alan, we all KNOW that the Spanish players are more technically skilled than ours, and we KNOW that their team is better than ours. But does it help anyone to hear you bleating about this for EVERY SECOND OF THE GAME? Listening to him whine on and on you were left wondering why any England team should be allowed on the same pitch as these Spanish demi-gods, except for asking for autographs.
He was ably supported by the equally grim Danny Mills, who spent half the time slagging off everything to do with English football, whilst touching himself up every time Iniesta as much as called for the ball. This was Danny Mills, the former Leeds, Charlton, Man City, and amazingly, England fullback, not the happy-go-lucky long-limbed forward who played at Rocky Road last season. Mills criticised everything to do with the English game from schools through to the national team. Apparently we do EVERYTHING wrong in this country. Curiously though, he didn't detail exactly how he tried to change this state of affairs whilst he was a top level player. He didn't tell us about how he took extra training to practice his first touch, or used only his weaker foot in private sessions, or did extra fitness work. I'll wager he knocked off at the end of a couple hours jogging in the morning and spent the rest of the day drinking, playing snooker, banging WAGS or getting tattooed, just like the players do now.
 |
| Danny Mills - not a big fan of Robbie Savage, but would happily bend over for any member of the current Spanish squad. |
We all know that English football could be improved. Overall it would be better if all the money generated by the game wasn't pumped straight into the bank accounts of surly foreign multi-millionaires, and English players could actually control a ball. But I think Messrs Green and Mills overplayed their hand s omewhat. Particularly when they broke off from their unstinting praise of all things Spanish to mention that despite 97% possession they hadn't actually managed a shot in the first half! Oily little tykes fiddling and farting in midfield is all well and good, but in this country we also like to see the odd shot on goal (this goes doubly at Kettering!)
I don't think I've ever heard commentators get so peevish at an England goal as these guys did when Lampard scored what proved to be the winner. The upshot of their sniping was that they thought we supporters would be happier losing but having lots and lots of lovely possession, than winning. Proving once and for all that these guys really have no idea of what it is like to be a football supporter.
Still, it took my mind of the Poppies for a while, so at least the commentary served an inadvertently helpful purpose.
Saturday, 12 November 2011
One season, one plughole.
 |
| If we were to be honest, the team's body language should have given us a clue as to how things were likely to go |
Forget for the moment our inability to beat a moderate lower league team today, or even really threaten to beat them. If you can. We were never going to win the FA Cup, and we're still a fair few goals ahead of Aston Villa in the all-time FA Cup scoring stakes.
The biggest fall out from today's capitulation at Sutton is that Imraan's mid season budget cut will hit us earlier, and harder than usual. However, unlike the last few seasons when Imraan pulled the plug, there are more issues now. For one we are only just above the relegation zone. There isn't room for many more bad days at the office. The season is ticking away and we aren't showing any signs of making inroads towards mid-table.
If Imraan manages to prise any of our thunderously under-performing "stars" out of their comfy contracts, will he look to fund Stimson's preferred replacements? Probably not if Non Park costs as much to run as we all fear. What then? A conveyor belt of disinterested loanees? Our oft-mooted youth players? Should we all take our boots with us?
And where is Imraan? Do we believe that he and Morrell, as well as his humourless attack-dog Lee Thorne are really all beavering away behind the scenes on "Project Non Park?" More likely that Imraan is up to his neck in a new venture (don't want to use the word "hobby") Morrell's probably selling dodgy time shares somewhere, and Thorne is no doubt grumbling down the phone to one of our dwindling group of sponsors.
Now watch as Sutton get a plum draw in the next round just to top things off.....
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
Poppies Banned!
....from England shirts for this Saturday's humbling at the hands of Spain. FIFA have announced that the referee will be instructed to not begin the game should the England team take to the field with a Remembrance Poppy motif on their shirts.
"Are World Wars necessarily a bad thing? Provided you manage to hide your cowardly arse when the fighting is happening of course. The Swiss economy is built upon uncollected Nazi gold! However, I'm sure we would look more favourably upon their request if the English FA could find their way clear to financing a couple of my personal "projects" for the betterment of some losers somewhere", he added.
We have yet to hear whether Kettering Town will also be in potential trouble for wearing poppy emblems on their shirts ahead of their trip to Sutton this coming Saturday. News will be reported as we get it.
 |
| The Toblerone Tomfoolery of 1498. Ample proof of the pointlessness of Switzerland |
Sepp Blatter has personally announced, "Being from a country that has not known conflicts since the great Toblerone Tomfoolery of 1498, and the Cuckoo Clock Kerfuffle of 1522, I can't see what all the fuss is about."
We have yet to hear whether Kettering Town will also be in potential trouble for wearing poppy emblems on their shirts ahead of their trip to Sutton this coming Saturday. News will be reported as we get it.
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Olympic Committee taken to task by Corby
The news that the Olympic Torch is due to visit several sites in the County has been greeted with joy by most inhabitants, but met with dismay by the Corby Olympic Deliverance Sub Committee, headed by Jock Caber-McJock.
"We're no happy that the torch is stopping anywhere in Northants other than Corby. If it only came here, we could have it for longer."
Jock added, "We've got a big swimming pool, a year old, big square building that only needs a wee bit of renovation, a handful of shops and half a new football ground being opened by one of the top 50 teams in the country - Rangers. Why would they want to take the torch anywhere else?"
"In fact, we're a bit miffed that the entire Olympics isn't being staged in Corby! We're not used to being denied anything! I mean, what does London have that we don't?
Wembley Arena? Rangers Supporters Club!
"We're no happy that the torch is stopping anywhere in Northants other than Corby. If it only came here, we could have it for longer."
Jock added, "We've got a big swimming pool, a year old, big square building that only needs a wee bit of renovation, a handful of shops and half a new football ground being opened by one of the top 50 teams in the country - Rangers. Why would they want to take the torch anywhere else?"
"In fact, we're a bit miffed that the entire Olympics isn't being staged in Corby! We're not used to being denied anything! I mean, what does London have that we don't?
London City? We're appealing for City status!
Olympic Stadium? Rockingham Triangle!
Wembley Stadium? Steal Park!
Velodrome? Danesholme Cycle Lane!Wembley Arena? Rangers Supporters Club!
Sailing Venue? Corby Boating Lake!
Canoe Centre? River Welland!
Accommodation for thousands of competitors and visitors? The new Premier Inn in Oakley!Shooting at the Royal Artillery Barracks? A night out on the Exeter Estate!
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| Scotland's most attractive woman has backed the Corby Olympic bid! |
"There's still time to change the location before next summer! C'mon, we can do it if we all get behind the Corby bid!" added Mr Caber-McJock as the men with white coats inched forward.
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