'11/12 - The fateful account

"It is a bold venture, but the right men have gone to attempt it.”


"Things were not as rosy as they might be, but we keep our spirits up and say the luck must turn.”


“Great God! This is an awful place.”


“I am just going outside and I may be some time.”


“We shall stick it out to the end, but we are getting weaker, of course, and the end cannot be far.“


“It seems a pity but I do not think I can write more.”

Fitterest and Properest

Imraan's search for creditable and ethical investors continues with  a couple of stalwart members of the medical fraternity.....

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Dr Harold Shipman

For - Always good to have another medical
man on board.  Perhaps we could let the
physio go....?

Against - we have a large number of
older supporters, and we can't afford to
lose any of them!



Dr Evil

For - Looking to invest ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Against - Always a danger that Mike Myers will
lapse into one of the dozens of painfully unfunny
characters he also plays.

Locum Hokum

The first thing to be said is that any information is better than no information, so to that extent at least, today’s club statement puts a little more detail in the public domain.

Whether it actually helps our cause is a moot point – ‘it would be unwise for me to comment on my dispute with DRC Locums - so you just watch me’ is a novel approach to conflict resolution.

Then we must ask – how much of this do we believe? Some, long past the point of no return, will dismiss it entirely. No one, I suspect, beyond those in his camp will stand by every word. For the remainder, lacking a bullshit screener on their anti virus software, it’s a case of sifting the evidence and trying to decide which bits are credible.

Poppynet’s assembled band of scrutineers will do that very well, but ultimately it won’t make a scrap of difference who’s right and who’s wrong if the football club dies whilst the lawyers wrangle.

Let’s take one part of the statement – the jaw dropping revelations about the full extent of the sponsorship deal with DRC Locums.

If the quoted amount of £1.4m over little more than 2 years is accurate, we are talking about a phenomenal sum for a club at our level. It’s unimaginable that DRC Locums would see a return on that investment even if we got to the Cup Final itself let alone the 2nd Round tie that apparently is part of the argument. So it can only have been a donation, an extremely generous one, which IL engineered as part of the deal when selling DRC.

Now we are told that since the sponsorship was terminated in March this year, over 400K remains unpaid. Again taking the figures in the statement today at face value, that would mean DRC actually did pay a sum in excess of £500K for the privilege of being the main sponsor of a club in the fifth tier of English football over an 18 month period.

No wonder they’re pissed off!

Maybe Ladak is legally within his rights to hold out for the full amount. Doubtless he has been advised he has a strong case. But even with just his version of events to go on, this strikes me as an argument that would end at best in a compromise (and that has probably been pushed back by airing it so publicly) and at worst in nothing.

Now surely is the time for Ladak to swallow his pride and recognise that no one is bothered any more about his endless attempts at self justification. We just want a club to support and it’s not too late to preserve that by encouraging dialogue rather than rattling sabres.

Out of the Frying Pan...

All day I’ve been searching for the best way to describe reaction to the latest news, and in the end it’s the first phrase that pops into your head.

It’s not only conspiracy theorists who are alarmed by the suggestion that our sinking ship is about to be towed to shore by Messrs Hill and Rolls. A duo whose record in football ownership to date is not completely unblemished. Their joint CV reads like a Who’s Who of strife, with precious little there to inspire confidence that these are trustworthy individuals to own a club.

And even better, it’s reported that Ladak will still be around, to guide the new board on important matters like pissing off the last unpaid volunteer who’s prepared to assist, or picking a fight with the world in general.

Come on, did we do something bad in a previous life or something? A joke’s a joke but this is getting silly.

Only with our wretched luck in picking saviours could the prospective arrival of a man with a reported fortune of £200m be greeted with such dismay.

The question begs, if he’s that rich, to the extent he was flirting with taking over Sheffield Wednesday (Premiership potential – slightly more than us) why KTFC? Unless perhaps in the fullness of time it won’t be KTFC but some as yet unknown combination of initials, in the deluded belief that another MK Dons can grow alongside the A6.

And then there’s Rolls, ex Cambridge Utd and Weymouth chairman who again isn’t a byword for happy ever after. Youtube has a long (over 17 minutes) interview earlier this year with a pair of admirably dogged presenters on the BBC Non-League Show, in which Gorgeous George was pressed about his involvement with Weymouth and it’s fair to say it doesn’t allay concerns. Pluckily portraying himself as a football lover who just wants to help clubs in need, and conspicuously avoiding any commitment not to flog off Weymouth’s ground if he could move them n to share with Dorchester, it was hard to shake the feeling we’d heard this kind of smooth blandishment before. About 20 years ago. At least we’ve already lost our home ground and decamped in a different town. Or as George would say, phase one complete.

So if this is the plan all along, and not some ploy to force Lee Thorn to up his offer from £1 (£2?), it does rather have a certain logic. Modern non-League chairman, utterly unconcerned by fan sentiment, seeks like minded outgoing individuals, gsoh, to enjoy forming hybrid football club and shared love of eating out, country walks and making money.

But, as Imraan said when reappointing MM, “everyone deserves a second chance”, so let’s just suspend disbelief and pretend that maybe the mooted takeover is entirely in good faith. How would that be demonstrated by the new regime?

1. A clear, legally binding commitment that the club currently occupying Nene Park will continue to bear the name of Kettering Town FC unless or until it moves to another location by its own choice.

2. Settling all debts in full, especially those owed to local businesses and ex employees who can ill afford to be shafted.

3. Rewarding Mark Stimson’s loyalty under duress with a decent contract, thereby dispelling fear that our death throes will be tainted by association with Garry Hill.

4. An investment in the squad in January that shows a positive intent to keep us in the BSP not run us into the ground.

5. An offer to the Trust of meaningful involvement.

A short enough list. Doubtless missing some important things but a starting point nonetheless.

Fitter and Properer

Stalin

For - World class 'tasche.
Against - May challenge me for control of the club!

The Daleks

For - Good organisers. And cheap to maintain.
Against - Too many steps at Non Park.

Fit and Proper

It really does pay to dig around in the bins at Non Park, as it is the only way of finding out what's going on at your football club.  Other teams rely on boring methods of communication such as updated websites, but not us. No, we rely on the more creative method of information dispersal of bunging stuff in the bin.

As talks of takeovers and new investors are flying around, we thought we would take this opportunity to investigate further.  After much wading through unopened letters from former landlords, and wading through thousands of agents' CV's and DVD's showing highlights of their "quality" players, we struck gold.

Today we can reveal the names of some of those individuals who didn't quite make the cut with Imraan, along with his reasons for turning them down.

Hannibal Lector

For - Smart guy, could be used to keep website updated.
Against - No one would trust the meat pies anymore!

Pol Pot

For - Would take no shit from the fans. 
Against - Now the Shaolin has gone, his
off-field usefulness would be limited

 
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Will Imraan actually kill the Poppies? Part Two

When you read this thread from Poppynet, the answer to the above question is starting to look worryingly like "yes".

http://www.poppynet.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12602

Imraan is infamous for his lack of consideration when it comes to being where and when he has promised.  This is bad enough when letting down supporters, but doing it when the club itself is at stake is unforgivable.


The Thorne's?
Frying pan and fire?

 

Allowing this petty idiosyncrasy to put the future of the Poppies in even further jeopardy he really is skating on thin ice with the Poppies support. 

Imraan, get you New Year's Eve payday by all means.  Pay off your "investors".  Then be gone.  There are still no guarantees if this happens.  We're still playing miles from home in a money-pit ground Imraan has saddled us with.  Our old home has been barred to us.  We have very little money coming in. Stimson always seems to be on the verge of jacking it in. And relegation looks more likely than not. 

And what of Lee Thorne?  He always seemed to us a bit too close to Imraan and "Project Suicide".  However, if he has extricated himself from Imraan's pissing around and is willing to stand up and be counted in the Poppies cause, we can't really do anything  but to rally to his colours, could we?

Mind you, do we know what we would be getting ourselves involved in with Lee?  After all, his brother, Damien was a bit of a terror in his day.