Well played Poppies, well played

Why has it taken me until now
to spot this?

Hat's off to whoever was responsible!

The club have set the bar high for the
rest of us this coming season!

Did Mark Cooper EVER Smile?

With all the current online hoo-ha about the Poppies -

No new ground work!

No work on new ground!

Players leaving!

No new signings!

Manager gone under mysterious circumstances!

New Manager STILL not photographed holding a scarf over his head (see below!)

Rumours about fate of BPWFC!

A lot of tough looking fixtures for our depleted squad of fringe players!

40% increase in admittance price!

Friendly suspiciously cancelled!

New kits potentially with us before Bonfire night!

With all these issues swirling around us, the internet sometimes throws up a little bit of comic relief.  Like this painfully mid-90's photograph of our former gaffer Mark Cooper.

Forget Blur v Oasis.  The main fight back then was Birmingham City v Good Taste!  And I don't recall Birmingham winning.....

Eaden off to Rocky Start

Whether we'll ever find out the full ins and outs of last weekend's Managerial shenanigans is doubtful.  Was Marcus making independent payments to players?  Was he helping further their off-field employment opportunities?  Who knows.  Whatever it was, I can't believe the club were unaware of it.

All we're left with is an ambiguous twitter message from departing diving cheat Rhys Hoenes claiming someone had done something, somehow and broke some sort of promises.  Why is it when people try to use Social Media to drop a digital hand grenade they're always so bloody vague?  If Rhys has a genuine, actionable grievance why not spell it out in specific terms?  Why hint and suggest when you can state the facts?  The only reason I can think of is that he enjoys causing the fluttering Poppies Twitter community to have a prissy meltdown?

Now the dust has settled, we're short of one manager and we will also need a new player who can crumple to the turf at the drop of a hat.

Nicky Eaden has been named as the new Gaffer.  We've no immediate problem with that.  He has some experience of this level, as well as, ahem, knowledge of the expectations of Poppies supporters....

But, where, oh where is the obligatory photograph of our new Boss with a club scarf held proudly above his head?  Since time immemorial such a pose, recorded by the local newspaper was the way or indicating the start of a managerial appointment.  Forget signing a contract, or bringing in players.  A £10 scarf, usually held the wrong way up, denoted that we had a new hairdryer & orange cutter in the dressing room.

C'mon Nick and the Northants Telegrpah.  Sort it out.

Hmmm. A busy morning at Latimer Park

It's all change. Several hard-ons suspected amongst supporters....

Are you reading, Ken Samuel?

Another season of "so far, but so far" on the Klondike half-time draw front, with Club worthy Ken Samuel practically laughing in my face every time I made my purchases.

Well, are you reading this, Ken?  Barely days after Patgod won "Poppies online Blog of the Year*" I won this -

Yes Ken.  That's right.  Read it and weep.  I won a draw, and you couldn't stop me.   Five whole pounds to spend on hardly needed fattening pastries, but I ate them, and thought of you as I did it!  Mmm.  Mmm.

*to answer the readers (ok, reader) who asked about us winning the "Poppies online Blog of the Year" award at Sywell, this was obviously a fictitious award.  As far as we're aware, we're the ONLY Poppies online blog.....

The trophy belonged to JC who carelessly left it with me when he was on the dance floor.

And let's  face it - if such an award existed Ken Samuel would make sure we still didn't win it....!

Meanwhile in other promotion news

Now that the non League playoffs are done and dusted a number of important issues have been settled, not least the amount of travelling we face next season.  As expected, the relegation of 4 southern clubs into step 2 has forced a further redrawing of the boundary, which now places Gloucester and Oxford in the 'top half', and at the present rate of expansion will soon literally start just north of Watford. Compared to some of the journeys we will face, Oxford is practically a local derby, whilst Gloucester is just down the road from where I am, so another welcome addition. 

Plus Kings Lynn have come through the playoffs to claim their place. Not just any old playoffs, these were playoffs leading to a further playoff, with 8 teams whittled down to just 1.  Thank Christ we managed to avoid that – with our track record in these things it would have been like buying a lottery ticket (or if you prefer even longer odds, a Klondike). So congrats to the Linnets.  Over the last two years you’d have to say that, like us, they’ve earned the step up.  And we look forward to continuing to annoy them by taking most of the points.

Elsewhere Corby put up a good fight but in the end were pipped by Bromsgrove Sporting. An unusual name for a phoenix club and particularly inapt for those who remember Kevin ‘Bomber’ Richardson swatting away various lightweight mid 90s Poppies. Bromsgrove seem to be better supported now than they were in the old Conference, but it does help if you’re winning most weeks. And talking of which there’s the fairytale story of Salford City’s rise to the Football League.

Thanks to the Class of 92 (coincidentally, the average gate 5 years ago) they’re just the latest but most glaring example of how far a few quid can take you in non League circles. I caught a few minutes of their playoff final and it was notable how tight the cameras had to zoom in on their little gaggle of fans, none of whom looked like they had ever seen a Salford game until Giggs and the Nevilles showed up (you can just tell these things… don’t ask how) . In a couple of years they could be playing in the Championship - perfectly possible if the Manc Millionaires still have money to burn. Paul Scholes might even fancy a go at managing them, if he has a spare month or so.    

In the end it’s probably not worth getting too worked up about these ego vehicles.  They come along, they ruin things for the rest of us for a few years and then inevitably they fall off a cliff when the money dries up. When that happens to Salford we will permit ourselves a smile, helped by the knowledge that, this time, no one would be crazy enough to suggest that we take over their ground.

A Night of a Thousand Awards!

In news that will cheer long-time readers, PATGOD's ongoing contribution to the emotional and mental well-being of The Poppies family was finally acknowledged at the recent end of season awards.

In a lengthy, emotional speech, owner Ritchie Jeune praised our place in the public Poppies debate, saying, "You make a f*ck more sense than the rest of that sh*te on social media."

Poppies boss Marcus Law added, "God bless PATGOD.  You guys keep us honest.  Not like that sodding Pedro.  Now, where is he?" He added before weaving drunkenly into the crowd, looking for his nemesis.

Handing over the "Online Poppies Blog of the Year Award", won despite stiff opposition, Club Chairman, Dave Mahoney paid warm tribute, "Winning titles and back-slapping evenings like this are all well and good, but the real joy in football comes from being mildly ribbed by middle aged men who for some reason think they're being clever, or in any way funny."

Some of the other, lesser winners on the night