The death of Malcolm McLaren has led to the media falling over themselves to praise him for changing music, if not society, forever. Given the way the media always overstates, and gushes over the supposed importance of Punk, folk under the age of 35 would be forgiven for thinking that everybody in the mid/late 1970's walked around with spiky hair, leather trousers, a safety pin through their nose, gobbing at passers-by.
Our swooning social commentators usually ignore the fact that McLaren was simply trying drum up interest in order to shift some shoddy clothes that his missus was "designing".
Outside of image-obsessed London, Punk was viewed as something-weird-you-saw-on-the-telly. Like Bagpuss, It's a Knock-Out, or one of those serious plays with lots of nudity. At my school we had just one person who believed himself to be "punk", but this extended only as far as wearing a safety pin on their school blazer!
In Kettering we were still content to be listening to crooners, prog-rock and disco. We wore our flares wide and our sideburns wider. Ask anyone around then who was the more relevant group of people I'm pretty sure you would get the answer of "Kellock, Clayton and Phipps", ahead of "McLaren, Rotten and Vicious".
Friday, 9 April 2010
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Player of the Season. Mmm let's think about that one....
Ah, blossom on trees. Warmer evenings. Woeful Poppies performances. Slips of paper handed out at the turnstiles. All are heralds that another season is drawing to a close. But, who to vote for as player of the season?
You can't really pick someone who joined the Club part way through the season. This knocks out Dance, Abbey, Hadfield etc etc.
You can't really pick someone who has disappeared for parts of the season. So, out goes the likes of Spencer, JP, Harper, Jennings, Taylor, Thomas etc etc.
You can't really pick someone who no longer plays for us. This means nil points for the likes of Ashikodi, Elding, Green, Fowler etc etc.
You can't really pick someone who has only been on loan with us. Bang goes Heslop, Partridge, Davis etc etc.
Bascially this leaves us with Boucard, Noubissie, Dempster and Roper.
As good a player as Boucard is, I'm still waiting, after 3 seasons, for him to actually hurt the opposition, whilst Noubissie just annoys me for more reasons than I can go into here.
This leaves it down to a straight fight between Dempster and Roper.
With apologies to JD, who has had another sterling season, playing with some awful dross in front of him, we can see no other result but a Player of the Season win for Ropes. He may be one of the least-likely looking footballers ever to grace Rockingham Road, but he is almost never beaten, and popped up with the odd, important goal. You can't ask for much more from a centre half.
Congrats Ropes!
A Season of Three Thirds
Whilst fighting my way out through the crowds after we'd been held to a draw by 10-man Histon, two things struck me. Firstly, the season cannot end soon enough, and secondly, I'd decided this season had fallen into three rather neat chunks.
Allow me to explain....
Poppies No.1 Line-Up (The "Facebook" XI)
New season, new faces. Francis Green and Damian Spencer to be knocking them in from Lee Fowler's telling through balls. Football League HERE WE COME!
Soon numerous players are griping on their social networking sites about everything under the Sun, except, strangely, their own moderate performances.
Poppies No.2 Line-Up (The "Mercenary" XI)
Moses Ashikodi, Anthony Elding and Simon Heslop provide the quality the Facebook Team lacked. Football League, and FA Cup Final HERE WE COME!
Big players on big money playing the big games. Unfortunately in front of smaller and smaller crowds.....
Poppies No.3 Line-Up (The "Bring Your Boots" XI)
No money, no crowds, no wins. Bargain basement trawling has "unearthed" the likes of Elliott Charles, James Dance and Pascal Egigbo.
Plenty of graft but zero guile. Cricket season HERE WE COME!
Allow me to explain....
Poppies No.1 Line-Up (The "Facebook" XI)
New season, new faces. Francis Green and Damian Spencer to be knocking them in from Lee Fowler's telling through balls. Football League HERE WE COME!
Soon numerous players are griping on their social networking sites about everything under the Sun, except, strangely, their own moderate performances.
Poppies No.2 Line-Up (The "Mercenary" XI)
Moses Ashikodi, Anthony Elding and Simon Heslop provide the quality the Facebook Team lacked. Football League, and FA Cup Final HERE WE COME!
Big players on big money playing the big games. Unfortunately in front of smaller and smaller crowds.....
Poppies No.3 Line-Up (The "Bring Your Boots" XI)
No money, no crowds, no wins. Bargain basement trawling has "unearthed" the likes of Elliott Charles, James Dance and Pascal Egigbo.
Plenty of graft but zero guile. Cricket season HERE WE COME!
Sunday, 4 April 2010
The Thick of It
Our footballing rivalry with Rushden & Diamonds may remain dismayingly one sided, with still just a solitary win to our credit, and even their usually moribund followers finally generating more than 20 decibels last Tuesday (I still couldn't quite make out the words when the third goal went in, but it sounded like "Let's all play the banjo").
However, casting the net a little wider, the Poppies fan can continue to claim an advantage. It has already been noted that we retain the edge in the 'metric number of fingers and toes' stakes, and that's before we start comparing IQs. Yes if it came to a head to head in a game of Trivial Pursuit, our money would be on the Kettering Town manager every time. Even Kevin Wilson. Put simply, all Diamonds managers are thick.
This is now so ingrained it must be part of the job description. After Garry Hill, who gave a passable impression of a shuffling extra from Dawn of the Dead - and that was before he tried to speak, we now have Justin Edinburgh, whose dull ramblings enliven many a Radio Northampton broadcast. "Justin you must be happy with the win today?" "yeh well as I say we set our stall out zzzz".
This can be traced back all the way to the founder of the dynasty of denseness, Emperor Brian the First - a creature of such primitive intellect, he reputedly could only master simple hand tools, and lacked any sense of space or time. Talbot once asked the Nene Park groundsman, who had just mowed the pitch in stripes, how he managed to get the grass to grow in different directions, and had a national radio presenter in stitches as he struggled with the devilish poser "Why are the team nicknamed the Diamonds?" Maybe BT just assumed there was this place called Rushdenundiamonds.
This was thickness so absolute that 'talbot' should really be designated as a scientific measure of stupidity. An internationally recognised unit, with an xray of the interior of his skull locked away in a secure vault. Let's start the campaign now - tell your friends, drop it into conversation - hell even make a wikipedia entry - and wait to see how long before it becomes part of the language.
"Are you saying your client is of limited mental capacity?"
"Yes your honour, he's nearly a full talbot"
But underneath that sturdy veneer of inarticulacy, Edinburgh - unlike his predecessors - is regrettably showing a certain amount of managerial nous, so he may be destined for better things. In which case the Diamonds board would be well advised to line up a replacement. Judging by his performances on the Final Score sofa, Les Ferdinand seems just the man. He talks like a Nene Park natural, plus he is rumoured to live in Thrapston, so is already accustomed to life in a nondescript genetic backwater.
However, casting the net a little wider, the Poppies fan can continue to claim an advantage. It has already been noted that we retain the edge in the 'metric number of fingers and toes' stakes, and that's before we start comparing IQs. Yes if it came to a head to head in a game of Trivial Pursuit, our money would be on the Kettering Town manager every time. Even Kevin Wilson. Put simply, all Diamonds managers are thick.
This is now so ingrained it must be part of the job description. After Garry Hill, who gave a passable impression of a shuffling extra from Dawn of the Dead - and that was before he tried to speak, we now have Justin Edinburgh, whose dull ramblings enliven many a Radio Northampton broadcast. "Justin you must be happy with the win today?" "yeh well as I say we set our stall out zzzz".
This can be traced back all the way to the founder of the dynasty of denseness, Emperor Brian the First - a creature of such primitive intellect, he reputedly could only master simple hand tools, and lacked any sense of space or time. Talbot once asked the Nene Park groundsman, who had just mowed the pitch in stripes, how he managed to get the grass to grow in different directions, and had a national radio presenter in stitches as he struggled with the devilish poser "Why are the team nicknamed the Diamonds?" Maybe BT just assumed there was this place called Rushdenundiamonds.
This was thickness so absolute that 'talbot' should really be designated as a scientific measure of stupidity. An internationally recognised unit, with an xray of the interior of his skull locked away in a secure vault. Let's start the campaign now - tell your friends, drop it into conversation - hell even make a wikipedia entry - and wait to see how long before it becomes part of the language.
"Are you saying your client is of limited mental capacity?"
"Yes your honour, he's nearly a full talbot"
But underneath that sturdy veneer of inarticulacy, Edinburgh - unlike his predecessors - is regrettably showing a certain amount of managerial nous, so he may be destined for better things. In which case the Diamonds board would be well advised to line up a replacement. Judging by his performances on the Final Score sofa, Les Ferdinand seems just the man. He talks like a Nene Park natural, plus he is rumoured to live in Thrapston, so is already accustomed to life in a nondescript genetic backwater.
Friday, 2 April 2010
Back to Blue Square One?
Almost exactly two years ago today, we mobbed the players on the pitch and celebrated promotion back to the Conference Premier. Every time I switch on my phone, a picture of those flag waving scenes greets me, with Vince conducting the crowd from a perch above the tunnel which he presumably books for such occasions, and Imraan looking enigmatic like a good poker player should.
As we near the end of our second season back in the league we were so desperate to rejoin, it's time to take stock and ask whether life in the fifth tier is all it was cracked up to be.
In those heady days as we closed in on the Conference North title, we looked ahead to a fixture list peppered with ex League names, some of them quite substantial, and could be excused for thinking that bumper crowds would flock to Rockingham Road as we competed on level terms with the likes of Oxford and now Luton - clubs that many remembered in the old First Division.
Plus the away trips would be massively better than outnumbering the home crowd at places like Vauxhall Motors, and in a virtually full time league, the standard of football would be undoubtedly higher.
So what have we seen? Some great away trips to be sure - twice drawing at the Kassam Stadium (surely easily the biggest stadium we have ever visited for a league fixture?), twice winning at Cambridge United and taking all three points at Kenilworth Road - where teams like Liverpool once came to grief on the plastic pitch.
But after an encouraging start, home attendances seemed to peak at around 1,500 excluding away fans, and this season have dipped alarmingly. So much for the theory that casual supporters would be drawn by the calibre of the opposition - the recent Saturday fixtures against York and Mansfield attracted a three figure turnout from the great Kettering public.
Ok we all know there are certain reasons for that - an idiotic pricing policy which puts some home games on a par with matches in League One, dismal home form and a general dearth of entertainment in a long string of low scoring draws or defeats. Why cough up £16 to see another makeshift combination struggle to test the keeper even once?
But even games where the prices have been more realistic haven't bucked the trend significantly. A large slice of our support has simply stopped coming. They've broken the habit and won't easily be tempted back. Merely competing at a higher level than two years ago is not an attraction in itself - in fact before this season has finally expired we are in danger of recording some truly Rymanesque attendances.
And as for the football - well maybe it's just me, thoroughly fed up with watching a team who never score when I watch them (last goal I saw at the Cowper Street end - Francis Green in late September, when I really should have been back at school), but the stuff on offer certainly this season has been no better than the Conf North. Is there a single quality side in this division? If so where have they been hiding?
Being full time may make the players that little bit fitter but it doesn't seem to make them any better. What do they do in training all week - run laps around the pitch? We still can't muster a decent free kick routine or do anything at corners other than aim for John Dempster at the far post.
So the novelty has well and truly worn off, and at a time when we should have been looking to kick on after consolidating our status, the likely prospect is a truly difficult season to come. If that is the case, let us please at least peg the prices at a sensible level - say £12 to stand, £14 to sit - and if necessary risk shipping a few more goals in order to have a better chance of scoring a few. Watching the Diamonds game the other night was a case in point - both their first two goals could have been scored by any one of several players who had surged into the box, whereas whenever we whipped in a decent cross there was no one gambling to get on the end of it.
But Lee's heart seems to be in the right place, and if he is given a proper opportunity maybe he can deliver a team that will at least entertain for as long as we remain in this league. We can but hope, otherwise Rockingham Road will be a lonely place to be.
As we near the end of our second season back in the league we were so desperate to rejoin, it's time to take stock and ask whether life in the fifth tier is all it was cracked up to be.
In those heady days as we closed in on the Conference North title, we looked ahead to a fixture list peppered with ex League names, some of them quite substantial, and could be excused for thinking that bumper crowds would flock to Rockingham Road as we competed on level terms with the likes of Oxford and now Luton - clubs that many remembered in the old First Division.
Plus the away trips would be massively better than outnumbering the home crowd at places like Vauxhall Motors, and in a virtually full time league, the standard of football would be undoubtedly higher.
So what have we seen? Some great away trips to be sure - twice drawing at the Kassam Stadium (surely easily the biggest stadium we have ever visited for a league fixture?), twice winning at Cambridge United and taking all three points at Kenilworth Road - where teams like Liverpool once came to grief on the plastic pitch.
But after an encouraging start, home attendances seemed to peak at around 1,500 excluding away fans, and this season have dipped alarmingly. So much for the theory that casual supporters would be drawn by the calibre of the opposition - the recent Saturday fixtures against York and Mansfield attracted a three figure turnout from the great Kettering public.
Ok we all know there are certain reasons for that - an idiotic pricing policy which puts some home games on a par with matches in League One, dismal home form and a general dearth of entertainment in a long string of low scoring draws or defeats. Why cough up £16 to see another makeshift combination struggle to test the keeper even once?
But even games where the prices have been more realistic haven't bucked the trend significantly. A large slice of our support has simply stopped coming. They've broken the habit and won't easily be tempted back. Merely competing at a higher level than two years ago is not an attraction in itself - in fact before this season has finally expired we are in danger of recording some truly Rymanesque attendances.
And as for the football - well maybe it's just me, thoroughly fed up with watching a team who never score when I watch them (last goal I saw at the Cowper Street end - Francis Green in late September, when I really should have been back at school), but the stuff on offer certainly this season has been no better than the Conf North. Is there a single quality side in this division? If so where have they been hiding?
Being full time may make the players that little bit fitter but it doesn't seem to make them any better. What do they do in training all week - run laps around the pitch? We still can't muster a decent free kick routine or do anything at corners other than aim for John Dempster at the far post.
So the novelty has well and truly worn off, and at a time when we should have been looking to kick on after consolidating our status, the likely prospect is a truly difficult season to come. If that is the case, let us please at least peg the prices at a sensible level - say £12 to stand, £14 to sit - and if necessary risk shipping a few more goals in order to have a better chance of scoring a few. Watching the Diamonds game the other night was a case in point - both their first two goals could have been scored by any one of several players who had surged into the box, whereas whenever we whipped in a decent cross there was no one gambling to get on the end of it.
But Lee's heart seems to be in the right place, and if he is given a proper opportunity maybe he can deliver a team that will at least entertain for as long as we remain in this league. We can but hope, otherwise Rockingham Road will be a lonely place to be.
It's a few days later and the hurt is subsiding...
As much as God obviously hates the Poppies by never letting us beat the Scum, at least we can take heart from the fact that he doesn't exactly love them much either.
Hands (and feet) up if you love Diamonds!
Thursday, 1 April 2010
A Step Forward?
The online community and the ET is awash with rumours about a potential take-over of the Poppies by a number of people previously associated with the Club.
If the stories are to believed, former Club Chairmen Cyril Gingell and Peter Mallinger have been in contact with Imraan for the past several weeks.
Rumoured to also be part of the consortium is the apparently reformed Mark English, fresh from a stint of humanitarian work in Haiti, and his former side-kick Brian Talbot, who is bein
g lined up as Manager.
g lined up as Manager.Peter Mallinger, who has spent this week off-loading Corby's assets in anticipation of the take-over has said, "To be honest, I'm glad to be shot of Corby, and will never complain about the level of support at Rockingham Road again." "Kettering has always been my spiritual home and I can't wait to get back there!", he added.
The ET reports that a press conference is expected at 11.00AM on April 1st in the Tin hat Lounge.
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