The real "Impossible Job"

As rumours fly as to whether Marcus has gone or not continue to flash around the shrinking goldfish bowl that is the Poppy-sphere only one fact has been proved to be incontravertable: -

No Manager in his right mind would want to manage this club.

We all know that this division is tougher than the one we won last season.  Don't think so?  Just ask Bedworth, who came up with us last year.  Their plastic pitch hasn't helped them much so far, being 11 points from safety.  I think they'd trade places with us without too much argument.  If 2015-16 ends with a mid table finish, with an outside push for the play-offs, surely this would represent a reasonable season of consolidation?  As it stands, we are 10 points behind the leaders with 2 games in hand!

It is becoming tedious to see the usual malcontents shrieking like a bunch of squealing ingrates everytime a team dares to beat us.  When did we become such a ridiculous group of entitlement-junkies?  Were we witnessing this at any other club we'd rightly say, "WTF?"

The previous duo were hounded-out by a frenzied minority, and, seemingly by a Chairman taking far too much notice of internet would-be-managers.  Their crime?  Doing the job and pissing the league.

Now it seems that Marcus is being hounded out in much the same way.  His crime?  Not doing the job and pissing the league.  His other failings are equally reprehensible.  He does not play the game EXACTLY how each and every one of us wants.  All 450 of us, with different opinions....  Not playing wingers, who, lets be honest, tend to drift out of the game for roughly 85 minutes every Saturday.  Who was out last, consistent winger?  Have we ever had one?

Will Marcus stay or go?  No-one can say at the moment.  If he does jump ship I hope his replacement has the common decency to be the perfect manager, with millions of contacts, play majestic football week-in week-out, with 8 wingers on the pitch.  At least.

Fall of the Roman Empire

Even the most jaded football fan cannot fail to be stirred by the events we are seeing unravel at Stamford Bridge.  In a world that is short of good news stories, this truly gladdens the heart.  Watching Chelsea’s season implode is up there with the closing scenes of It’s A Wonderful Life, or Jeremy Clarkson being extradited by the Argentinians.  It’s even upstaging the Leeds soap opera, where Steve Evans is currently midway through his six match spell in charge.  

The first sense that something special and unusual was afoot was when Mourinho spat out his dummy over Physiogate, only to meet his match as the club doctor refused to go quietly.  Her withering look as she left the field is my vote for Pout of the Season.  Only a week into the campaign and Chelsea had already found a new way to be detestable, no mean feat.   Then they started losing matches and Mourinho tried his usual deflection strategy of blaming the officials, because of course they’re bound to be biased against little clubs who never win anything.  He saw nothing wrong in keeping Costa in a cage for a week then letting him loose to kick, gouge and generally be ungentlemanly against Arsenal, then stamped on Wenger's glasses afterwards and blamed the fourth official. 

 

All the while, the FA charges keep piling up, including one for persistently coming up with laughable post-match excuses.  Things are getting so bad, John Terry is coming across as a calming influence.  

Mourinho seems to be building up to some kind of dramatic exit but, hey, no rush, not while you are giving so many people so much pleasure.  

               

I'm the daughter of a what?

 

Speaking up for the Poppies

It was a shame that this weekend's Race Night was so poorly attended.  Race Nights have formed the backbone of off-field fundraising at the Poppies for many years.  Attendances at these events have waxed and waned over that period.  Usually, when the club was in the mire it was standing room only in the Tin Hat, or Northern Lights Club.  When everything seems to be tickety-boo attendances tend to drop off to a hard core of people who enjoy shouting at videos of horse races that had finished twenty years earlier, and eating dodgy sausages.

They still managed to raise just shy of a grand, which is bloody good going and hats off to Martin and the boys.

But why was the event so poorly attended?  Given the million and one media outlets open to the club these days surely they can get news of off-field events out to the faithful.  Was the Race Night mentioned on the website?  If so, I couldn't find it.

Twitter and Facebook are all well and good, assuming events are repeatedly mentioned, because the instant nature of these online services means that important messages are soon drowned in a welter of kitten images, updated status's and photographs of dinners.

Unofficial Forums are great for reaching the small, vociferous groups of Poppies fans who have lots of ideas and opinions, but tend not to actually do anything.....

Once upon a time club events would have been mentioned in the local rag.  They probably still are, but, like everyone else, I tend not to read it since it became a weekly!

However there is a way of reaching all of our fans and relaying important information.  A way of addressing a captive audience of all those who have the Poppies at heart.  And, if you listen carefully between the Scottish Highland Reserve League Half-time scores and abusing our opponents you might just hear Gary Graham mention something over the matchday tannoy.

Or not.  But if not, why not?  Why aren't the club using the pre / half-time / post match tannoy announcements to actually tell us important things?  Letting 600 Poppies fans know of a Race Night raising funds for the club obviously can't compete with reading out UCL half-time scores, or winding-up the ET reporter because Norwich are three down at the break.  But, still, as mad as it might sound, it might be a good idea to use this time to let everyone know of events the club is hosting.  Even if it means taking a two minute break in reading out pointless dross that no-one is interested in, or ruining "Match of the Day" for anyone deliberately trying to avoid the Premier League results.

Perhaps then we might actually know of club events before they've actually happened!

How many members of the Poppies Media Team,
Poppies TV and Match Day Announcers does it take to
keep us to date with the scores at Rothwell Corinthians?

There are 9 goal thrillers and there are 9 goal thrillers

For a few of a certain age, today’s chaotic 5-4 result immediately conjured up memories of the last time that Poppies were involved in such an unusual scoreline – way back in 1981 against Altrincham in the old Alliance Premier League.

That game must have had a peculiar magic because I know I’m not the only one who still regards it as the most exciting game I’ve ever seen. The scoring followed almost exactly the same pattern as today, we coasted into a 4-1 lead early in the second half then were pegged back to 4-4 before a decisive strike, but the context was different.  Back then, we were up against undoubtedly the best team outside of the Football League. The previous season they had won the APL (with us a close second) but were yet again denied promotion via the re-election system, allegedly because a chairman who had promised them support was delayed in traffic and arrived too late to vote. They had played Liverpool at Anfield in the Cup and had the closest thing to star quality at our level.

We, on the other hand, were sliding fast from a side that had pushed Alty all the way for the title and were beginning to sniff the possibility of a relegation struggle. So Rockingham Road was buzzing as we built an unlikely 4-1 lead. I can still remember Stewart Atkins riding a very heavy challenge (a certain penalty), opting to stay on his feet to slot in the fourth. Then like a wounded animal Altrincham began to claw it back and we watched in growing dismay as the lead was wiped out. In goal we had the callow Kevin Fox, who modelled his curly perm on Peter Shilton but for us never really recovered from the moment when he rose to clasp a routine catch only to drop it for an unmissable equaliser.             

So with the scores level the tension was suddenly intense. When we recall this game as the most exciting, what we really mean is the last 10-15 minutes. With things on a knife edge, we were awarded a penalty. As Frankie Murphy prepared to take the kick, Altrincham’s notorious John King warned him of certain unpleasant, possibly season ending consequences if he was to score. The kick was saved but in the ensuing scramble Paul Haverson shot through a crowd of players and RR erupted.

I still recall the nervous shaking excitement of those last few minutes. Just a couple of league points at stake, but it felt like a big cup tie. I can’t say that today stirred up quite the same emotions. A lot of water has passed under the bridge, and the atmosphere was different. But it was strange how the sheer rarity of what was unfolding acted like a little time machine, and there I was back in 1981…      

Cobblers, Be Afraid. Very Afraid

"There are a number of other interested parties..... we began talking with these other parties.  We have made significant progress in these talks to a position where things are now well advanced."

"a winding-up petition by HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC)......Chairman ..........said he "fully expects the matter to be resolved by the end of next week".

".....owes HMRC a "five-figure sum".

 "Following this morning's announcement, we are contacting HMRC and are requesting an urgent meeting with them."

Has someone been dredging up some of Imraan's most asinine, end-of-days comments he was mumbling from behind locked doors at Non Park whilst awaiting the men in white coats?  Mystery investors?  Check.  Winding-up petitions?  Check.  Offers to meet the people you owe money to?  Check.  

Unfortunately for our County Cousins, the above quotes have emanated from their current Chairman rather than our old one.  

One important difference between Imraan blithely steering us onto the rocks and the current Northampton Town situation is the small matter of the Ten Million Quid they've borrowed from their Council and seemingly blown on a bizarre recreation of the old County Ground "Meccano" stand.  Without the seats!  Nostalgia is great, but bloody hell, is this all that £10,000,000 can buy these days?

It appears from the outside that the Cobblers hierarchy had literally banked on a big money take-over, so stopped paying any of their bills, assuming the incoming Indians would brandish a large enough cheque book to smooth everything over? (Cough - James Caan - Cough!) 

Who knows.  But, boy, does the situation stink!

Perhaps not all the £10,000,000 has gone on this.
Just hope Paul Knowles is paid up to date this time.... 

Poppies (refresh) TV (refresh) Strikes (refresh) Again

The currently still in play second half from Bamber Bridge is exciting stuff.  Made even more tense by the constant buffering of the signal necessitating hitting the refresh button every 25 seconds.

This brings the signal back for a second or two.  If you're lucky.

Just long enough for something to sound like it was about to happen, or leave the commentators faces frozen in some most unappetising poses - think mad men suffering a huge stroke.  One of whom may well be Phill Jupitus.

At times you only have the vaguest sense of what's going on, and whether we are defending for our lives, or about to score, needs to be guessed at, often purely on the direction the commentators were facing when the screen froze.

But little do I know.  They've just scored during a frozen moment when to all the world, it seemed we were attacking.

Sorry Ritchie, but you are still a very long way away from ever being able to charge for this service.  Shame.

Is Latimer Park such a Sh*t-hole?

The blame for the drop off on attendees at Poppies games this season has been laid at the door of various, er, doors.

Poppies TV means you don't have to leave the comfort of your own home to verbally abuse people who's only crime is being better than us at football, but, unfortunately as good as those wearing shirts of a different colour.  When it works (only kidding Ritchie!)

Two extra pounds per game this season might have proved to be a price rise too far for the average Kettering fan who would think nothing of shelling out £4 for a pint or £20 for a pizza.

The opposition aren't rolling over for us this season and letting us win every week.  Not that we appreciated the constant win-fest last season of course!

The other reason given for the fall-off in support is the poor quality of the facilities at Latimer Park.  That is the problem with the club being run well these days - we need something else to rile us and get us moaning!  But, is Latimer Park all bad?  This week, purely in the pursuit of research, we attended games at both our humble home and the National Stadium at Wembley.  Each stadia was marked on several specific criteria, and our results are presented here.

Latimer Park

(1) Distance from my house - 3.5 miles                                                                         6/10
(2) Access to the ground - quick, providing you can get past Sev                                 8/10
(3) Food and drink - Directly to hand                                                                             8/10
(4) Bar - expensive but readily available, and can take into the ground                        7/10
(5) Cover from the elements - fine, providing the gates stay low!                                 6/10
(6) Tannoy - good, even when Gary Graham spends far too much time reading everything that he sees on his Tablet, regardless of it's relevance                                                                6/10
(7) The games - this season the games have been highly competitive                            7/10
(8) Being surrounded by moaning gits                                                                            10/10
(9) Exiting the ground - Pretty easy.  Again, with our hemorrhaging support                 9/10
(10) Tempted to return?  A season ticket pretty much guarantees this!                          10/10

Wemberlee!

(1) Distance from my house - Bloody miles!                                                                 2/10
(2) Access to the ground - takes forever to circumnavigate the place!                           4/10
(3) Food and drink - Directly to hand, just open your wallet and empty!                       4/10
(4) Bar - Bloody expensive & needs to be drunk in the bowels of the stadium              5/10
(5) Cover from the elements - Good, but wouldn't have fancied putting it to the test!   6/10
(6) Tannoy - Excellent in the nearby streets, but amazingly poor in the ground            4/10
(7) The games - Poppies could have given England a better game                                5/10
(8) Being surrounded by moaning gits - do they follow me?                                          10/10
(9) Exiting the ground - Long, slow and bumping into people                                        5/10
(10) Tempted to return?  Nice trip, but with hotels / travel and tickets - unlikely!         4/10

Latimer Park - overall score         77/100
Wembley - overall score               49/100

There you have it.  It's Latimer Park for me!