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A disheartened Gareth Bale grudgingly admits that perhaps the odd England player may just squeak into the Welsh team. |
Thursday, 16 June 2016
Another one of the great sights in world football
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
Most Obvious Picture Gag Ever (Part Two)
Corby NOT joining Poppies in Southern League Premier
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"Looks like we'll have to find another way to pay for the new conservatory - bugger!" |
Tuesday, 14 June 2016
Still one of the great sights in world football
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| Ronaldo looking as though he's about to start blubbing. Like a girl. |
Saturday, 4 June 2016
Once More Into The Breach
Having decided it was time I threw my weight behind England’s
Euro preparations, I went to the Portugal game the other night. It was my first visit to the new Wembley and
I have to say the place has freshened up somewhat since we were one of the last to bring the curtain down on the old place, which in truth was a bit of a
dump. I had vowed that I wouldn’t return unless it was wearing a KTFC Wembley [insert
year here] cap. Yeah, I know. Sometimes, though, you’ve just gotta adjust
your expectations, so I approached this as a fact finding trip, ready for when
we next march down Wembley Way. To the present stadium or its eventual
successor.
Everything about the new Wembley is impressive – it just
needs an England team to match.
On the outside concourse stands a statue of Bobby Moore, inscribed “First
England captain to lift the World Cup”. How
clever - that won’t need updating the next time we do it! Judging by the hype and legend each time we’ve since got as far as a semi, sneaking into another
final will pretty much guarantee another statue, plus a lifetime of anniversary
events like those which are currently unfolding. Not just the umpteenth reliving of ’66,
but fond recollections of ’96 too, in the complete absence of anything more
recent.
Even then, Skinner & Baddiel felt they had enough material to talk about "all those oh so nears, wear you down, through the years”. Guys, maybe it’s time for an album? Still earlier, England went to Spain singing “This time, more than any other time, this time”, just SIXTEEN years after winning the bloody thing. That’s like Roy’s boys vowing to recapture the glory days of Kevin Keegan.
Even then, Skinner & Baddiel felt they had enough material to talk about "all those oh so nears, wear you down, through the years”. Guys, maybe it’s time for an album? Still earlier, England went to Spain singing “This time, more than any other time, this time”, just SIXTEEN years after winning the bloody thing. That’s like Roy’s boys vowing to recapture the glory days of Kevin Keegan.
Because England are really terrible at this. Despite almost always, until recent
times, setting off with pundits galore predicting we could go all the way, in our entire history we
have played in the same number of actual finals as Greece and Belgium. Even Denmark (DENMARK!) have troubled the
trophy engravers as often as we have. If
international football was the Premier League, we’d be Newcastle. Great stadium, passionate fans, high hopes,
won nothing since the sixties. When was
the last time England won a knockout tie against a major team, someone we
perhaps weren’t expected to beat? You
know what I think the answer is?
Never. Not once. It takes some doing to be that consistently disappointing.
So on that note I’d like to wish the boys all the very best
in France. My prediction: we’ll piss it.
Arise Sir Woy
Borough Council Fails to Back Poppies SHOCK!
"Asset of Community Value, blah blah blah"
Like the rest of you, I tried to read the link to the Localism Act, and like the rest of you got bored about two lines in and relied on others to go through the entire document and report back what it meant.
It would appear that it meant the local council could decree a site to be of "Community Value" and bring pressure to bear on an owner of such site to acknowledge this.
Put simple enough for PATGOD to understand, Kettering Borough Council could take the Pickerings to task over letting Rockingham Road sit there and rot. Or, at least, in theory, KBC could do this. Unsurprisingly they did f**k all. As soon as the Poppies were mentioned, those trough-straddling self-important tossers backed off.
We have mentioned many times the vast gulf in attitudes Northamptonshire's councils have when it comes to their premier football clubs. Corby council build their team a new football ground every 18-months, and worry about the costs later. Northampton council gave the Cobblers a ground and then, seemingly, wrote them a £10 million pound cheque to push them to promotion. In Kettering things are a little different. Our councillors wouldn't piss on the Poppies if they were on fire.
Asked to pass a ruling which merely asks the Pickerings to consider doing something with a small parcel of land which is mouldering away within their town, our illustrious elected officials bottled it yet again.
None of this should be a surprise. We only ever see these chain-wearing, smarm-bags when we win titles or go to Wembley. On these occasions they can't get enough of the Poppies, taking centre-stage and pontificating about our importance to the betterment of the borough to massed ranks of voters. At all other times we are simply an embarrassment to either ignored or derided. F**k them. We always knew they'd be of no use. One needs only to see how they are buggering up the whole town to know these insular arseh*les would be less than no use to any organisation who could promote the town to the wider world.
As long as they can keep picking up their expenses for voting as they are told to, and using their free car-parking passes to be able to afford to park in Kettering, as any shop of note closes, or moves to Corby, they'll be happy enough.
Like the rest of you, I tried to read the link to the Localism Act, and like the rest of you got bored about two lines in and relied on others to go through the entire document and report back what it meant.
It would appear that it meant the local council could decree a site to be of "Community Value" and bring pressure to bear on an owner of such site to acknowledge this.
Put simple enough for PATGOD to understand, Kettering Borough Council could take the Pickerings to task over letting Rockingham Road sit there and rot. Or, at least, in theory, KBC could do this. Unsurprisingly they did f**k all. As soon as the Poppies were mentioned, those trough-straddling self-important tossers backed off.
We have mentioned many times the vast gulf in attitudes Northamptonshire's councils have when it comes to their premier football clubs. Corby council build their team a new football ground every 18-months, and worry about the costs later. Northampton council gave the Cobblers a ground and then, seemingly, wrote them a £10 million pound cheque to push them to promotion. In Kettering things are a little different. Our councillors wouldn't piss on the Poppies if they were on fire.
Asked to pass a ruling which merely asks the Pickerings to consider doing something with a small parcel of land which is mouldering away within their town, our illustrious elected officials bottled it yet again.
None of this should be a surprise. We only ever see these chain-wearing, smarm-bags when we win titles or go to Wembley. On these occasions they can't get enough of the Poppies, taking centre-stage and pontificating about our importance to the betterment of the borough to massed ranks of voters. At all other times we are simply an embarrassment to either ignored or derided. F**k them. We always knew they'd be of no use. One needs only to see how they are buggering up the whole town to know these insular arseh*les would be less than no use to any organisation who could promote the town to the wider world.
As long as they can keep picking up their expenses for voting as they are told to, and using their free car-parking passes to be able to afford to park in Kettering, as any shop of note closes, or moves to Corby, they'll be happy enough.
Wednesday, 1 June 2016
Most Obvious Picture Gag Ever
Corby Town put into the same division as the Poppies next season.....
Corby Town v Kettering Town
Corby Town v Kettering Town
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| "Call in the helicopter!" |
Thursday, 19 May 2016
2015-16 Round-Up Part 2 - The Top Three 45 minutes of the season
It takes a lot for a football team to perform to the absolute maximum for a whole 90 minutes. From first whistle to last, to boss the opposition into a numbed submissive posture. Listening to Poppies fans on matchdays leaves one with no doubt as to how rare and precious such a feat is.
But we often turn it on for the occasional magical 45 minutes which leave you breathless, and annoyed that it can't be repeated the other side of the ref's whistle. So, what were our best "half-games" this season?
1) The second half away to Kings Lynn. We had actually had by far the better of the first half and were leading 1-0 at the break. The second half was as comfortable as a comfy pair of particularly comfortable slippers. We scored a couple more and could have added any further number to the tally. The fun part was this all occurred in front of the biggest group of simmering bad losers in the Southern League. No, not us. At least, not this time!
Kings Lynn supporters have the most enormous, insular sense of entitlement. No doubt, coming from being the only town within 3-days donkey ride of the next dwelling place with more than a double-digit population.
On that afternoon they soon went from being wanabee big time Charlies, with their big stand, big terraces and big chanting, to being grizzly, narky and bitchy - mostly against their own players and manager.
All in all, a most pleasant way to spend Boxing Day, considering the alternatives were to spend more time with either the in-laws or once again watch the temporary inmates of Stalag Luft III on the telly.
2) The first half away to Cambridge City. We have generally struggled against Cambridge City the few times we have encountered them, including them doing the double over Carl Shutt's Southern League Championship Winners,
This time there were no such worries. We were a goal up before we'd settled down to finding the best place to stand. Two up by the time we'd realised it was a bit warmer then expected and taken our coats off. Three up by the time we'd fished out our sunglasses. And four up by the time we were pondering a half-time cuppa.
The rest of the game was an obvious anti-climax as we made player changes, went through the motions, and Cambridge set themselves up to limit any further damage.
But still, a lovely Spring afternoon, lapping up the welcome sun and the equally welcome 3-points.
3) It would be impossible to ignore the second half at home to Bideford, when, if you could compel people to give you a penny for every mention of "game of two halves" you'd have enough for a hefty down payment on a season ticket for 2016/17.
We needed a hefty win to keep pressure on the teams above us after we had mystifyingly lost to an appalling Bedworth the week before. Bideford worked hard and we were bereft of ideas. They earned a 0-0 half time score, much to our collective annoyance. We had blown it for the second time in a week and the natives were turning (even) uglier. Also counting against us was this was the evening we were finally wearing the famous "Kettering Tyres" shirt - which is without doubt the unluckiest shirt in the history of football.
Why so unlucky, you ask? Let's look at the evidence. Wearing it in the 1970's resulted in the club being admonished and dragged down the FA headquarters in London for a proper, old-school bollocking. A few years ago, when we were dying on our arse at Nonce Park, Bet Fair proposed for us to wear a version of the Kettering Tyres shirt as part of an advertising gimmick. Before Imraan could bank the money from Bet Fair, league sponsors, and fellow online betting outfit, Blue Square, called "foul", and another bollocking ensued.
This season, as part of the 40th anniversary of the shirt, we have tried several times to wear the damn thing, and each time the weather has had the last word. And now, at half time against a lowly Bideford, we'd finally got on the pitch wearing the Kettering Tyres shirt, and couldn't look less like scoring.
And then the second half started. Forty five minutes later and we'd racked up 7-goals and about a thousand near misses, in the most dominant half of football anyone at Latimer Park that day would remember. It seemed as though the entire half was played in the Bideford 6-yard box.
Not a bad way to sign off the 2015-2016 home fixtures.
But we often turn it on for the occasional magical 45 minutes which leave you breathless, and annoyed that it can't be repeated the other side of the ref's whistle. So, what were our best "half-games" this season?
1) The second half away to Kings Lynn. We had actually had by far the better of the first half and were leading 1-0 at the break. The second half was as comfortable as a comfy pair of particularly comfortable slippers. We scored a couple more and could have added any further number to the tally. The fun part was this all occurred in front of the biggest group of simmering bad losers in the Southern League. No, not us. At least, not this time!
Kings Lynn supporters have the most enormous, insular sense of entitlement. No doubt, coming from being the only town within 3-days donkey ride of the next dwelling place with more than a double-digit population.
On that afternoon they soon went from being wanabee big time Charlies, with their big stand, big terraces and big chanting, to being grizzly, narky and bitchy - mostly against their own players and manager.
All in all, a most pleasant way to spend Boxing Day, considering the alternatives were to spend more time with either the in-laws or once again watch the temporary inmates of Stalag Luft III on the telly.
2) The first half away to Cambridge City. We have generally struggled against Cambridge City the few times we have encountered them, including them doing the double over Carl Shutt's Southern League Championship Winners,
This time there were no such worries. We were a goal up before we'd settled down to finding the best place to stand. Two up by the time we'd realised it was a bit warmer then expected and taken our coats off. Three up by the time we'd fished out our sunglasses. And four up by the time we were pondering a half-time cuppa.
The rest of the game was an obvious anti-climax as we made player changes, went through the motions, and Cambridge set themselves up to limit any further damage.
But still, a lovely Spring afternoon, lapping up the welcome sun and the equally welcome 3-points.
3) It would be impossible to ignore the second half at home to Bideford, when, if you could compel people to give you a penny for every mention of "game of two halves" you'd have enough for a hefty down payment on a season ticket for 2016/17.
We needed a hefty win to keep pressure on the teams above us after we had mystifyingly lost to an appalling Bedworth the week before. Bideford worked hard and we were bereft of ideas. They earned a 0-0 half time score, much to our collective annoyance. We had blown it for the second time in a week and the natives were turning (even) uglier. Also counting against us was this was the evening we were finally wearing the famous "Kettering Tyres" shirt - which is without doubt the unluckiest shirt in the history of football.
Why so unlucky, you ask? Let's look at the evidence. Wearing it in the 1970's resulted in the club being admonished and dragged down the FA headquarters in London for a proper, old-school bollocking. A few years ago, when we were dying on our arse at Nonce Park, Bet Fair proposed for us to wear a version of the Kettering Tyres shirt as part of an advertising gimmick. Before Imraan could bank the money from Bet Fair, league sponsors, and fellow online betting outfit, Blue Square, called "foul", and another bollocking ensued.
This season, as part of the 40th anniversary of the shirt, we have tried several times to wear the damn thing, and each time the weather has had the last word. And now, at half time against a lowly Bideford, we'd finally got on the pitch wearing the Kettering Tyres shirt, and couldn't look less like scoring.
And then the second half started. Forty five minutes later and we'd racked up 7-goals and about a thousand near misses, in the most dominant half of football anyone at Latimer Park that day would remember. It seemed as though the entire half was played in the Bideford 6-yard box.
Not a bad way to sign off the 2015-2016 home fixtures.
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