Good old Shorty - flying the flag for PATGOD!

I always smile when Peter Short is wheeled on by Radio Northampton to comment on whatever forthcoming event the Poppies are about to encounter. Not that Shorty doesn't do well - he does. He does far better than most of us would do. He speaks clearly, is amusing and holds up his end of the conversation. And that's not always easy when talking to Joe (Wannabe-Shock-Jock) Pignatiello, whose idea of broadcasting is to immediately take the opposite viewpoint of anyone he talks to. Regardless of the subject. It doesn't matter if the conversation is about a forthcoming nuclear Armageddon, or judging cakes at a WI event, if you have one point of view, you can bet your life he will be in the opposite corner.

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Talking on the radio is a different to talking to each other. Firstly, you've got to remember not to swear, not even when mentioning the Direones, and this takes more skill than I could muster. You've also got to remember not to go "um" between every word you speak and not to say, "Y'know?" at the end of every sentence. And as much as you try not to do it, it is almost impossible not to lapse into "football-speak". Suddenly you are asked to express your delight at a big win, and no matter how frantically you scrape the inside of your brain for a clever or amusing response, all your grey matter can conjure up is, "OVER THE MOON", which dribbles embarrassingly out from between your gritted teeth. It's enough to make you feel as sick as a parrot.

Anyway, back to Shorty who must cringe when he is introduced by the DJ as the Kettering's fanzine editor. Thankfully the DJ never follows this up with a potentially tricky question like, "when's the next fanzine due out?" How long is a piece of string?

We at the online version know from painful experience that producing a printed publication from scratch can be hellish.

• Deadlines.
• Production of articles.
• Making the wording fit the pages.
• Non-existent letters page.
• News and stories that can be months out of date by the time people see it.
• Paying the printer.
• Selling the bloody thing.
• Explaining what a fanzine actually is, and patiently pointing out for the millionth time that it is NOT the programme.

A long list of painful problems. Why do you think PW and myself stopped doing it years ago? It really is more trouble than it's worth, particularly when there is an online alternative.

Nowadays we are laughing! Deadlines? What deadlines? We can type what we like, when we like. The guy who prints the fanzine will have to fund his next BMW from some other sucker! And we no longer have to carefully edit to ensure the articles fit the available area. We can type as much or as little as we want. We can end a piece when we feel like it. Just like this in fact.