It's Football Jim, but not as we know it

 The Poppies return to competitive football for the first time since a handful of us brave / foolhardy souls watched a not especially competitive game at Bucks Head over 6-months ago.  But what kind of football are we returning to?  

As I type this, I am primed to enter my Bank details onto what looks like a dodgy knock-off Russian website, promising to stream this afternoon's FA Cup game with Chelmsford.  More likely, I fear my Bank Account will either be emptied or used as a tax-haven by a close friend of Vladimir Putin.  Even more likely, looking out of the window, is that the weather will jinx any dastardly Eastern European shenanigans.

While it is considered safe for socially distanced supporters at Steal Park and Nonce Park II to watch their sub-par heroes in the flesh, Poppies fans wanting to assemble at Latimer Park will need to sit inside the social club, or huddle-up under a couple of marquees.  All while the game is taking place, in the fresh, clean, albeit very wet air just metres away.  Even BPW will be able to boast that they have bigger gates than us!

We are going to have a whole generation of players representing us that none of us have ever seen.  More to the point, we'll have a whole raft of footballers wearing Poppies red, who will never have the pleasure of performing under the merciless, withering verbal barrage of our "support".  This is a shame, as spending a slice of a footballing career being on the receiving end of our moaning is often seen as a badge of honour for old pro's, and a bonding experience for them.

So, the National League will (fairly, assuredly) be slicing up a Government grant of £10 million to keep our clubs playing in front of empty stadiums for the next three months.  Hopefully by the time the cash trickles down to our NN backwater we will have sufficient fifty pence pieces to feed the meter to just about afford to keep the showers warm.  At least for the first half dozen players who use them.  We can only hope that this money, plus merchandise sales and funds paid into "TV-footie-ruskie.com" can get us through the foreseeable future.

I'm already looking forward to making virtual payments to a virtual Ken Samuels for virtual Klondike tickets for a virtual draw that I have virtually no chance of winning.  Over to you, Poppies.

Thankfully, it's business as usual at Gateshead