Such has been the outpouring of tributes to Brett as his 18-year playing association with the Poppies was finally ended, there’s probably nothing we could say that hasn’t already been said.
The span of his career is remarkable – there are millennials who have never known a time pre-Brett. He made his debut before Facebook was a thing, the first celebrities were stranded in the jungle, and Jimmy Anderson had taken a Test wicket. Despite never playing up front except in the odd case of game-chasing desperation, he scored well over a century of goals. Across 598 games, no one ever said “Solkhon didn’t look bothered today”.
At a future new stadium on the edge of town, there will be a stand waiting to have his name on it. It’s even ok to admit that he also played for Rushden & Diamonds.
So we’ll leave the accolades to others and turn instead to the urgent issue we now face.
Namely, who is now Mr Kettering?
Like Father of the House, the title Mr Kettering is traditionally bestowed on the longest serving member of the staff. Unlike Father of the House, it doesn’t carry any parliamentary privileges, though does scan better in a chant.
Past Mr Ketterings included of course the likes of Craig Norman, Dougie Keast and Phil Brown in recognition of their years of loyalty, consistency, and ability to survive the annual churn of players at our level. At the other extreme, I’m pretty sure Pat Noubissie was once Mr Kettering for a day, when he was the only player on the pitch at Steel Park who was on our books a few weeks earlier.
On reviewing our shrinking retained list, there are really only two candidates.
Michael Richens - Richo first played for the club in 2015 and has been here (mostly) since 2017. He is always up for the fight, pops a few in from 30 yards and enjoys letting opponents know he’s there. This also means that he is usually racking up the Nectar points towards his next suspension. Can you be Mr Kettering if often sitting out another ban in the stand? Discuss.
Gary Stohrer - A Poppies stalwart since 2017, not always first choice in that time but seems to be improving with age. Has the indefinable quality of never getting slagged off. Surely destined to one day get a midweek testimonial against a Leicester City XI if someone can pull a few strings.
It has to be Gazza, which hopefully is not the kiss of death and we read next week he’s moved to Brackley.
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