I'm getting almost as bored writing about my inability to win the half-time Klondike draw as you must be reading about it. And bored of my borderline libellous contention that Ken Samuel may have more than a hand in my continued bad luck (just thirty odd years and counting).
Well, last Saturday, before the team slept walked into a lacklustre capitulation to Kidderminster, I missed out on Klondike glory through nobody's fault but my own. My blame entirely. Nothing to do with Ken. At least not this time.
Being equal parts effortlessly-minted and unstintingly-generous it's not unknown for me to buy a fivers worth of Klondikes before the game. This I was about to do in the bar well before kick-off. However, at the last moment I plumped for 3 Klondikes and a Matchday programme. I don't usually buy a programme. Not because it isn't good - it is, but like most people who have watched football for any length of time I have piles of the damn things filling up various rooms of my house, and I don't need more. Also, I know that others are avid collectors and a whim purchase from me might deny somebody who REALLY wanted that particular programme. Oh, and I'm unbelievably bad at Cookie's quiz - I think I've guessed one correct answer ever.
I purchased this particular programme solely because an article I'd written was featured within. 'Er indoors who labours under the twin binds in life of being married to both me and to the Poppies Trust had coaxed me to pen a piece for the Trust page. I leapt at the chance to write something that could be entirely positive for a change, and it ended up in the Kiddy programme. Which I then pointlessly purchased in order to re-read something I was already intimately familiar with.
You can guess what happened next. Yep, the winning Klondike number was 2 higher than my third ticket. It would have been the fifth of my five tickets had I not bought a programme.
Yes folks, in order to vanity-read something I could just as easily brought up on my phone, I chucked £180. Well done me. I'm not looking for sympathy but wouldn't necessarily object if you all wanted to have a whip-around to cover this latest egregious loss. And Ken, this doesn't mean I'm not still watching you like a hawk....
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| Worth £182.50 of anyone's money |
Last season Mr Dick Kirk won the said Klondike and I was fortunate enough to be in a three way syndicate with Dick and his brother. Could I possibly suggest that you join forces with every purchaser of a match day Klondike ticket and then you could have claimed £1.80p for your £3 stake and finally put yourself out of your lifetime of misery. JC - always looking to help.
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