Judas pen pictures v Brackley

 

"Former Kettering player"

By the end of his time as a player we trust 
more can be said of Tre's footballing career.

But we doubt it.

If it's Boxing Day......

 

Desperately Seeking…………..by Paul Caulfield

 

November 1^st 1975 was a Saturday. I know this because I have the programme from Kettering v Boston United in the FA Cup. It was a 4^th qualifying round tie, and as a 12 year old, I knew little about the competition’s early rounds. This was my first non-League match after early years spent watching Division One football in London. But my memories of the day are still strong for two reasons; a classic match ended 4-3 to the visitors after Kettering had led 2-0, and the programme is now part of my collection; a tangible momento from 45 years ago.

 

I remember the frosty November air, the cigarette smoke, the bell-ringing monk and the frantic atmosphere as the evening drew in and Boston – then Northern Premier League champions – clawed back Kettering’s lead. The visitors’ first goal came from one Howard Wilkinson, and the win earned Boston a home tie with Lincoln City in round one. I was hooked from then on, and saw eight more Kettering games that season – including the fogged off, twice-played Bedford match, and the County Cup ties with Northampton and Corby. I made the mistake of not buying a programme for the Corby game, something I have yet to put right.  

 

It’s the programmes that provide a link with the past, and offer a snapshot of footballing life during Kettering’s centenary season. The previous season’s fourth place (marked in the league table) indicate the Poppies’ ambitions, with the front page slogan; “Follow Kettering Town into the Football League” adding an air of optimism that was not reflected on the pitch. But in late-season, the names  of ‘Dougan’ and Kellock in the appearances column were a sign of better things.

 

They duly arrived the following August as Kettering, under Dougan’s tutelage, reached the third round of the FA Cup, with Oxford United and Tooting overcome before Colchester won at Rockingham Road. Dougan himself scored in the Oxford replay after Geoff Merrick had earned the Poppies a draw in the first game. On December 4^th, a week before the Tooting tie, Chelmsford’s line-up included an ageing Jimmy Greaves, with a rather younger Nigel Spink (“17 year old, joined the club from village side Roxwell”) between the posts. Six years later, as a sub for Aston Villa, he would hold Bayern at bay in Rotterdam.    

 

The Tooting game came amidst a 26 game unbeaten run that took Kettering to the top of the Southern League, with Roy Clayton emerging from the fog to get the vital goal near the end. The programme meanwhile, promoted the derided fashions of the time, with a centre-spread ad for ‘warm winter wear’, including duffle coats, parkas and snorkel parkas (“the heavy duty one”) - yours for just £12.95. In his notes, Dougan claimed that the FA Cup “really starts when the third round draw is made…..that is the incentive that we all need.” On the Fixtures and Facts page, meanwhile, was a warning from Ted Croker of the FA, threatening ground closure if the crowd trouble seen against Oxford was repeated. It wasn’t, as far as we could see; which against Tooting wasn’t very far.  

 

The following Monday, Kettering got the home draw they wanted, but against division four pacesetters Colchester.  The U’s affirmed their status by racing into a 3-0 lead that proved decisive, despite Kellock and Clayton’s  late ripostes. A post-Christmas slump, including two defeats to lowly Margate, cost Kettering the league. By the time Gravesend visited on 23^rd April, the Poppies were third behind Bath City and eventual champions, and Football League members-elect, Wimbledon.

 

I have all the programmes described above, except the aforementioned Corby issue. That game took place on 24^th April 1976 and ended 0-0. but I have no ‘proof’ as I have yet to track the programme down. If I do, I can complete my collection, and get on with my life! So if anyone has a copy, or even a photocopy – yes, I am that desperate – please email me. You would make an ageing ‘anorak’ very happy.  

If you can help, get in touch and we'll see if we can make an old man very happy!

At last, 2020 gives us some good news!

 LADAK CAPTURED!

Apparently he was arrested outside a Travelodge in Milton Keynes.  Probably no more than half a mile from his house.  Way to go with that expert police search.

So, we are paying out on all bets for his capture in Milton Keynes.  Well done to those who correctly anticipated Ladak's complete lack of imagination.

Losing bets include Ladak being blown away in a gun battle with MI5, being hit by a drone strike on the Afghan / Pakistan border, being returned by aliens and turning up as the new Chairman of AFC Rushden & Diamonds.

Just because we love Imraan so much we've
wheeled our cartoonist out after a couple 
of decades of retirement

Next Month's Bet -

Where will George Rolls turn up next, and how many bin bags will he be in?

Video Paused the Radio Star

 We have had to learn many new talents this year such as seeking out hand gel dispensers when entering a shop, remembering to tuck a face mask in your back pocket when leaving home and giving withering looks using just your eyes when someone invades your personal space.  Actually, scratch that last one.  This is a talent I've always had....

 Now, with the advent of our away games being live streamed both visually and aurally, the new ability of synchronising these separate feeds into a single, satisfying entity has become the latest covid-inspired talent the average Poppies fan has had to learn. 

 It's all well and good the opposition club laying on the live footage of our heroes on their patch, but we don't also need to hear their poorly-informed, bumbling, utterly-biased commentary too.  Not when we can hear poorly-informed, bumbling, utterly-biased commentary from OUR commentators via Poppies radio.

 It should be simplicity itself.  Start the TV footage.  Start the Poppies media commentary.  Bob's your uncle.  Alas, Bob's not your uncle.  Not even close.  Just a rather seedy mate of your Father who enjoys rather too much bouncing the ten year-old version of you on his knee....

 No, you need to spend the first five minutes of each half trying to match the visuals with the audio commentary.   Hearing the excited yelps of our commentary duo over footage of a ball being cleaned under Connor's shirt, or seeing the ball hit the back of the net while hearing about the lack of activity on the pitch isn't much fun.  Sometimes the unedited outputs are as much as 30-seconds apart, but with careful pausing and then playing of one of the feeds you can usually get them to correlate them reasonably well.  Sometimes even before York are 2-0 up.

 By the time you are completely happy with what you are watching and hearing it is invariably half-time and you have to go through the entire process again for the second half.  That said, at least this keeps you engaged in the process, not like the boring, old-fashioned standing at the ground and just letting the game unfold in front of you!  Where's the fun in that?

 

The March to the Arch starts here

 Bob Brown mentioned on KTFC Chat the other day that when the Poppies reached the Trophy final in 1979 we started our campaign with a home tie against long time rivals Nuneaton.  Just like this season.

Of course Bob would know this.  This is the sort of fact you would expect to be at the fingertips of someone who has published honest-to-goodness BOOKS about the Poppies.  Not simply tapped a few poorly spelled insults onto an online blog.  Actual BOOKS!

But what Bob with his highfalutin book-smarts didn't notice, and this little old blog did, is that there's an even better connection, which means we are certain to make a return to Wembley this season.

Why?  You are entirely at liberty to ask.  

Think about it.  We reached the final in 1979 and 2000.  

You don't have to pretend to understand "Only Conect" while secretly just gawping at Victoria Coren-Mitchell to figure out the next year in sequence after 1979 and 2000 is 2021.  And with this season (hopefully) getting as far as 2021, surely this is all the proof needed that we are due our "regular" every 21-year visit to the home of English football?

WEMBERLEE!  WEMBERLEE!

Dammit, we're just too late
for the "Twin Towers" reference....

I'm Gonna Miss You

At about half three today I'm really going to miss you.  My feet will be like ice.  My fingers numb.  Nose dripping.  I'll have a fistful of damp, losing Klondike tickets wedged glumly in my pocket.  

My boots will be muddy.  My team will be splashing around aimlessly.  I won't believe how enormous Kyle Perry is in the flesh.

Friends will inadvertently forget social distancing.  Hands will accidentally be shook.  Dave Singh will want a snog.

A handful of brain-dead covid-deniers will cause an unnecessary ruckus and spout some insane conspiracy theories which tie-in stolen American elections, vaccine tracking technology and a random X-Files plot line.  One of them will sneeze down the back of my neck.  Not that I'll notice as I'll have been standing out in a sleety shower since one minutes past three.

And I'll look back fondly on my short stint as an armchair supporter.  Sure, it wasn't all good.  The two dreary mud-soaked defeats to Curzon and Southport.  The despair of Fylde.  The scary decimation at Gloucester.  Becoming uncomfortably familiar with Richard Atkinson's tissue collection as he struggled to keep the rain off of the video camera.

But there was also the encouraging wins against Bradford and Chelmsford.  Shutting up the big-boys of Hereford.  The sweet victory at Kiddy.  Having snacks and drinks on hand in my warm house.  Not having to navigate the Alumasc carpark in the dark.  Yes, I'm gonna miss you, my friend.

Probably until the roar at kick off and I'll forget you ever existed.