Shock, horror! AFC Scum have a good idea!

Let's not beat about the bush, if there's one thing worse than Rushden & Diamonds FC, it's AFC Rushden & Diamonds, where fans of the former club set up another club and deliberately chose to honour the name of one of the most reprehensible "football clubs" ever spawned.

They could have chose any name for their new club, but decided that a pretend, hobby club that has f*cked-u non-league forever, should be commemorated.  Jeez....

However, this new club have come up with (deep breath...) an idea that looks pretty good.  Particularly if it was done properly by a real club with enough fans to put a proper number of stripes on the shirt.  Have a look here: -

WTF! Signs of intelligence in Rushden?

The idea is that individuals can have their name included within a stripe on their new kit.  Small and compressed, but part of the actual kit.  I don't know if this is a specifically Scum-lite idea, or borrowed from elsewhere, but a good idea is a good idea.  Certainly a better idea than building Non Park on a flood plain on the edge of a village.  Or only mating with immediate relatives.

Obviously it goes without saying that the Scum-lite shirt itself will be shite, and be worn by absolute bell-ends, but the IDEA is not without merit.  Equally obviously, the Direones shirt will be quite easy to print as there are likely to be barely half a dozen different surnames....

Vote early, vote often and vote the right way!

Vote here!

It's the semi-final we've all been waiting for, where the Poppies supporters have the opportunity of placing the 2017/18 white away shirt, in, some might say, its rightful place in tomorrow's final.

PATGOD is obviously scrupulously neutral when it comes to the democratic process.  We would never dream of coming between a Poppies supporter, the ballot box and their conscience.  Such things are as close to sacred that we can comfortably acknowledge in a modern, secular society.

Simply click the link above to register your preference between the two kits on display.

There's a beautiful kit, exquisitely modelled the perfectly proportioned, dusky sex-thimble Dion Kelly-Evans.  A perfect marriage of form and function that clad our wonderfully toned warriors as they rehearsed for the following season's sweeping to the league title.  The team both played and looked fantastic in this expertly fitted garment of shimmering gorgeousness.

The other "option" is a rather ropey FA Trophy losing shirt, snarkily worn by Peter Morris's equally miserable non-love-child, whiny Kings Lynn reject, Brett McNamara.  Not only did this extremely moderate shirt crush our dreams in front of the Twin Towers, it also dragged us to a dispiriting relegation the following season.  By rights any remaining copies of this unlucky, poorly designed and manufactured top should be burnt, and the ashes scattered with holy water and cast to the winds at midnight at an unmarked crossroads on the eve of the feast of St Jacob the Turgid.

But obviously the choice is entirely yours.

Option One

Option Two

Oh how we've missed him

Nice to see Imraan Ladak, just seven short years after almost putting us out of business, emerging from self-publicity exile to aim an opportunistic smear in our direction, whilst modestly portraying himself as a crusader for racial equality.

The first thing to say is that his comment piece for the i newspaper this week contained a lot of statements which no sensible person could object to.  There clearly still is an element of institutional racism in the English game, and no form of racism should be tolerated. The difficulty is that he chooses to illustrate his arguments by citing his time in charge of Kettering.  Almost every sentence makes you groan in disbelief.

“The pairing of a black manager with an Asian club owner meant race was an issue in everything we did”

Really, in whose mind?  Assuming he is referring to that first season under Morell Maison, we were too preoccupied with enjoying a lot of attacking football, funded by a big talking chairman who promised exciting times ahead.  As time went on, based on actual experience we increasingly doubted their competence, but that doesn’t make for a good story. 

“We were constantly told supporters were uneasy (Kettering is 94% white)”

Again, perhaps I had a sheltered existence but I have zero recollection of any unease about skin colour.  If he was to argue that Poppies supporters are fickle, impatient and sometimes a bit dense, he’d have a point, but overwhelmingly bigoted?  Ladak makes Kettering sound like the only thing missing was a burning cross.

“When Morell picked black players, there were whispers of favouritism”

When Morell picked black players, like Abbey, Marna and Howe, there were very frequent goal celebrations.  Sure, there were also some duds among the pearls, but the only suggestions of favouritism I can recall were when Ladak twice brought Maison back to the club after sacking him the first time!

"We worked hard to make football a more inclusive and meritocratic place – not only on the pitch but also in the dugout and the directors box”

That’s football generally not just a small club in Northamptonshire? Obviously Imraan was busy doing a lot more than we realised!  As for us, his hard work in redressing inbuilt discrimination included bringing in as consultant a well known figure after he was sacked by ITV for a racist remark, and making at least 11 managerial appointments of whom 10 were white.  

This self serving guff aside, we’re honest enough to acknowledge that every football crowd sometimes contains the odd idiot who says something stupid - and we’re no different.  When it happens, it’s called out for what it is, not condoned or otherwise excused.  Imraan, if it makes you feel better about your botched ownership to blame others and put yourself on a pedestal, that’s a matter for you, but next time keep it to yourself?

Certainly Worth The Effort

The Summer break from football is always an arid time for Poppies news.  A vacuum invariably filled by our online conspiracy theorist community, who get to hold sway with a collection of outlandish conjectures.  Some end up being true, but more through luck than judgement.  Throw enough rumour and innuendo and eventually you might hit a bullseye.

Mix into this online brew the second group that get more of a hearing when no football is being played - the "I know something you don't, but I can't say anything" brigade.  In many ways these guys are worse than the tinfoil hat wearers.  They post just enough detail to highlight, in their minds, how important they compared to you, because they know something you don't.  As if having the inside track on the comings and goings at a small non-league football club actually matters to anyone.  A player is about to leave.  A player is about to join.  Another player has told you in complete confidence he hasn't been paid since 2012.....yawn.

Given that this year's Summer hiatus started in mid-March and isn't due to end until an undetermined date in the future, we supporters are being left to fester in a quagmire of online rumour-stew far longer than is safe for us!

Enter Ritchie and his latest endeavour, where he puts together a weekly YouTube video showing us what is ACTUALLY happening behind the scenes at the Poppies.  The link is here.

Ritchie's Updates (Turn down the volume for the opening music though...!)

Obviously having updates from the horse's mouth still doesn't quite quell those looking for problems and conspiracies completely.  Nothing would of course.  But as the close season drags on for a second millennia it's great to be kept in the loop with news from our club, and Ritchie should be applauded for this initiative.

If nothing else, it's fun to see, during the Board's online Zoom meetings, how the curtains look in the homes of our betters!  And to realise Dave Mahoney has the same curtain pole as we have!  Not a sentence I ever thought I'd write.

Such openness is still difficult for my generation to grasp.  Like an East German citizen stepping, goggle-eyed through a broken wall into West Berlin us fans from the 1970's / 1980's are more used to Chairmen and Owners treating supporters as a horrid inconvenience.  We weren't necessarily shot at by twitchy border guards, or had our papers checked every time we left our homes, but there was certainly No "look behind (or at) the curtains" for us lot back in the day.

If you're not already watching these videos we heartily suggest giving them a punt.  If only to see which members of the Poppies board have had access to hair cuts at home during the past few months.