Insert "Last Chance" punning title here

I was casting around for a catchy title for a quick article suggesting that given the ploddingly awful start to the season he has presided over, that Andy Leese might be in danger of using his last chance up later today at Hitchin.  Just to make sure I didn't accidentally re-use an old article title I typed "last chance" in the "Blog Search" function.  Quite a depressingly large number of articles spooled out from this operation.  Some blasting the last chance to buy chips at the game and some dreading the very real possibility of us having played our last game.  The Blog algorithm did not distinguish between the two extremes or care a jot.  It just blandly listed dozens and dozens of articles where we bemoaned the end of something to do with the Poppies. Christ, we love a good wallow don't we?

A similarly gutless defeat today to Hitchin to the one they inflicted upon us midweek and it would be difficult to see how Leese could survive.  All season we have looked less fit, less incisive, less skilful, and less interested than the teams lined up against us.  And that includes Hullbridge in the Cup where, 8 times out of 10 with the respective performances of the two teams, they would have won comfortably.

Our lack of fight this season is the biggest difference between last season and this.  For all of Lee

Andy ponders who 
to blame this week

Glover's managerial limitations you rarely felt his teams hadn't given their all.  This season you seriously wonder what passes for player training.  There's little evidence that defending, attacking or fitness feature highly on the list of activities on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

We can see we have some reasonably good players.  But it's hard to point at any that are performing at more than 75% of their ability or capacity.  Personal pride should drag more out of them.  Being properly coached and managed should bring the rest out.  It's currently looking like both are sadly lacking.

At the moment the Club are backing Leese with ongoing player acquisitions - the latest being the questionable resurrection of Leon Clarke who hasn't played this season for anyone.  It means he's available for the FA Cup, but doesn't speak well to his fitness.  Surely a desperate, last-gasp gambit for the Management?  But, what if this doesn't work either?  How much time do you invest in a situation that shows no real sign of improving?  

More to the point, does the club's newly-formed Management Committee structure actually have a facility for hiring and firing?  Right now are they scratching their heads over how to go about this most painful of footballing duties?  And what of Leese's 2-year contract?  What kind of hefty pay-out might that entail.  A performance or result this afternoon anything like our last encounter against Hitchin and we must surely find out.

Long Eaton - Away

So what we did learn from our trip to Long Eaton?  Two things at least.

One, we are in a relegation battle unless something radical happens. If you were looking for evidence that the team had turned a corner, not sure that it was evident in scraping a point in the 97^th minute against a side that had lost every home game this far.

Two, and possibly related, Andy Leese clearly believes that the best way to motivate his team and maximise our chances of doing well is to:

• Stand in his technical area with arms folded
• Turn and bitch to his assistants whenever an attack breaks down or the opposition threaten
• Occasionally throw his arms in the air in disgust, and
• Offer no encouragement, advice or anything that remotely resembles coaching to the players on the pitch

You have to admit, it’s a method that the very top coaches could learn from.

Is it any wonder that we seem to get worse as games go on, often after a bright start. Any of our players looking over to the bench for guidance, moral support or positivity will instead see the footballing equivalent of a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Plus they know that after the game he will throw them under the bus if necessary, to justify another bad result where "they didn't follow my instructions".  What instructions? 

Andy Leese might have interviewed very well with a decent CV, but he’s a busted flush and this club is going nowhere under him except very possibly down again.

Well Did You Evah?

Dare we start to hope that after one of the least inspiring openings to a season that Leese is wresting control of the tiller of the good ship KTFC?  We are, at time of writing, enjoying a five match unbeaten run.  True, two of the games were against lower league opposition where we were second best for most of both games, and one involved a 145th minutes equaliser.  It's also true we've not truly looked convincing for 2 x 45 minute periods in a row.

But an unbeaten run is an unbeaten run.  

Perhaps one day we'll actually conduct our pre-season business during pre-season and actually have our preferred team assembled on day one of the season rather than by the start of October.  Mad I know, but might be worth a go?

Curiously, the only team we have effectively bossed this season, and some might say, "owned" is Tottenham Hotspur.  Ever since Harry Reilly put us one goal in front of Spurs as all-time record FA Cup goalscorers we seem to have poked a rather angry cockerel.....

Anyone not a Poppies fan needs to know 2 things about being "All-time top FA Cup goalscorers" 

(1) literally no-one outside the NN15 / NN16 postcode gives a flying f*ck about the record.

(2)  No one inside the same NN15 / NN16 postcode has ever put as much work into finding out who has let the most goals IN in the FA Cup.....

Whenever we've reached the top of the goalscoring pile in the past we've patted ourselves on the back but the rest of the footballing world has treated the news as very much of "local interest" only.

However, this time, no sooner had the various Poppies media outlets announced we'd climbed one goal above our illustrious but otherwise oblivious Premier League rivals, their supporters bit back and for 5 minutes we felt what was like to be Arsenal in their eyes.

Wow.  When Spurs fans bite, THEY BITE.  So, to answer a few of their points, in no particular order -

• Yes, the capacity of Latimer Park lags somewhat behind that of the imaginatively named "Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
• Yes, we've played a lot of teams from lower divisions than ourselves.  Unlike yourselves presumably.
• Yes, we come into the competition earlier.  We also invariably go out of it a lot earlier too.
• No, we haven't actually won the FA Cup.  Mind you, we've won it the same number of times as Tottenham have since Nirvana first stumbled into a recording studio.

Historically Spurs were never near the top of the FACA-TGS chart.  But, over the past decade or so the footballing Gods have been extraordinarily kind to them.  Not kind enough to let them actually win the competition, but, given some of the clubs they have drawn, they bloody well should have!

In the last dozen seasons, other than numerous Championship and League One sides, they've come up against the mighty footballing forces of Cheltenham, Stevenage, Colchester, Wycombe twice, AFC Wimbledon, Newport, Marine and Morecambe.  I'm sure they all tried their best against Tottenham.  They certainly gave it their best when they all played the Poppies in recent seasons!

Even when playing slightly more elevated clubs Spurs have managed to wangle quite a few goal-strewn replays to bolster their tally.  In 2010 alone they had goal-filled replays against Leeds, Bolton and Fulham.  They've since followed up by dipping their wicks into several other lower league teams by drawing away and stuffing them back at White Hart Lane.

We might need to get our shooting boots on against Hitchin because I get a sense the lowest placed team in the FA Cup 3rd round may well be planning a trip to North London in a few months time.....

"Fackin Hell, Reilly's just
scored against Sporting Khalsa!"

Still Nothing to See Here.....

So, we have a number of working, live links on our Blog.  What about the other links you might, or, more likely, not ask?  Well, if we've still got your attention, we'll run through the other runners and riders. 

 

Latimer Park Diary - WHAT'S ON AT LATIMER PARK (google.com)

Long since abandoned as a resource as it's completely empty, and yet we all know that events are happening on an almost hourly basis!

Poppies Trust Website - www.poppiestrust.co.uk

Site Down!  Site Down!  A new site is incoming but for now, this one is kaput.

Tin Hat Podcast - Login to your Podbean Account | Podbean

Who'd have thought that a podcast entirely geared to listening to Poppies fans having a moan had no "legs."

Tinhat's Unofficial Site - COMING SOON (poppiesfans.com)

A much lamented loss to the Internet.  This was a fantastic resource, run from the States and often more up-to-date than the Club's official online organ.

KTFC Community - www.ktfc-community.com

Gone now.  Don't remember it, certainly don't miss it.  Perhaps it was a forerunner for this one?  Kettering Town | KTFC Community Trust | Burton Latimer

P.R.A.T.S. - P.R.A.T.S. (pratsktfc.com)

Still live but rarely updated.  Perhaps the assembled PRATS have taken the pledge.......

Poppies TV - KTFC Season Tickets (ketteringtownfc.com)

There's something there vaguely offering season tickets / parking etc., but we're pretty sure it's been superseded?

This isn't Kettering - This isn't Kettering | A season not watching football in Kettering (wordpress.com)

27 Years and Counting - ..... (darrenktfc.blogspot.com)

Come on you Poppies - Come On You Poppies – The story of my Kettering Town journey (wordpress.com)

Up the Poppies - #UTP UP THE POPPIES! (ktfcblog.blogspot.com)

Four, count 'em, FOUR sites where people took the time and care to set-up a Poppies-themed blog or website only to get bored after a handful of posts.  Bless!  That initial, fabulous thought for an article will carry you through the setting up process and laying out your wares for the Kettering public.  Then what?  It's that difficult "second album" syndrome.  You've introduced yourself and set out your stall.  Suddenly it's been 6-months between posts, and you've probably forgotten the password anyway....Clue - it was probably KTFC1872.

This is the 1441st post on online Patgod.  If nothing else this proves that to run a semi-successful blog you need -

(A) To be able to find-the-funny in the face of often not very funny situations

(B) No-one to impart your wisdom to at games (thus keeping ideas under your hat for the blog)

(C) No life.

So young -
So full of hope
So many changes coming....

Nothing To See Here

Every so often, when REALLY bored we will have a quick trawl through the "People Who Write About The Poppies" links on the right hand side of the version of Patgod viewable on your computer screen to make sure they all still work.  The same links might appear on the Mobile version of the website but we're buggered if we can see where....

Presently the links seem to split into three broad categories -  Links that are working.  Links that are working but the content is lacking or out of date.  And links that are deader than our promotion prospects.

First up - the Good Links -

GOING GREAT GUNS!

Poppies Media - (4) Kettering Town FC - YouTube

Bang up to date with Andy's non-excuse excuses and footage of our players being turned inside out by acknowledged giants of the game such as Barwell and Redditch.

Club Facebook Page - Facebook

As above, but with added photographs of pizza vans.

Club Twitter Account - Kettering Town FC (@KTFCOfficial) / X (twitter.com)

As above but with added minute-by-minute matchday anguish.

Club Website - Kettering Town Football Club | Official Website | Official News (ketteringtownfc.com)

As above, but with more photographs of Gary Stohrer.

Poppies Trust Facebook Page - Kettering Town 'Poppies' Supporters Trust | Facebook

Probably gearing up again for these "interesting times"

Poppies Trust Twitter Page - Poppies Trust KTFC (@poppiestrust) / X (twitter.com)

As  above but with added Elon Musk insane interjections.

Football Web Pages - Kettering Town | Form Guide | Last 6 Matches | Football Web Pages

A bang-up-to-date website with all current scores and League tables.  Unfortunately.

National League Website - The Vanarama National League (thenationalleague.org.uk)

Oops!  Must get rid of this.

Northamptonshire Telegraph Sports - Football Latest News | Northamptonshire Telegraph (northantstelegraph.co.uk)

All the latest stories and interviews helpfully obliterated by a million adverts.

News Now - NewsNow: Kettering Town news | Every Source, Every Five Minutes, 24/7 news

Some sort of hosting site that has links to current KTFC news.  Just in case you weren't already aware of how things were going.....

KTFC Supporters Travel Club - K.T.F.C. Supporters Travel Club | Facebook

Helpful site to offer you travel to away games in the company of other sad acts who perversely enjoy going ever further to watch almost guaranteed defeats.

Kettering FC - Welcome to the official website of Kettering FC | Kettering, Northamptonshire

Not sure how current this site is but we leave it here as a salutary lesson of how close we came to being this club.

Buy your own Gary Stohrer HERE!