Credit Where It's Due

It was SO BAD that even mild-mannered Patgod weighed in against the team after Tuesday's shocking bore-draw with Farsley.  Another blank in front of goal.  Another vital 2-points squandered against relegation rivals.  Another opposition goalkeeper with entirely clean kit at the final whistle.  It was all too much!

But while our attacking players struggle with the concepts of banjos and cows rear quarters, our defence has been quietly playing out of their skins.  Since trailing 2-0 to Boston at half time a mixture of Foulkes, Gascoigne, Sharpe, Cooper, Myles, White and Flannagan have conceded just ONE GOAL in 6 and a half games.  These guys could very reasonably argue that they are earning their wages at the moment.  If only those in front of them had notched just a goal every other game we would be mid-table now.  It's just so infuriating!

Gascoigne in particular has been outstanding during this run, and, the odd penalty-conceding swipe aside, excellent all season.  For what little it's worth, Patgod has him down as current front-runner for the Player of the Season award.  We only hope this news doesn't go to his head....

Gascoigne is in pole position until a flashy forward player scores a dozen goals between now and the end of the season to sweep up all the easy votes of course!

Brad gives the opposition forwards
both barrels!

£15 and 2 hours of my life....

...YOU OWE ME!!!

Welcome to Hell (or Latimer Park as it's known locally)

The Fylde Manager (the current one rather than the one facing criminal charges over a sexual assault) kept up the run of opposition managers taking zero responsibility for not taking a maximum haul from their visit to Latimer Park.  Yes, we know - the pitch / the facilities / the pitch / the style of football / the pitch / hostility / the pitch.

A new expression has entered the Poppies supporting public's repertoire in recent weeks - "the free hit".  We know we're facing a number of 6-pointers.  We can read the league table as well as anyone else.  But, interspersed with them are games that, by rights, we have little chance of getting something from.  Our "free hits" where any points would be a bonus.  You know, games like the recent win at Banbury and the draw at home to Fylde.

Along with us lot it now appears opposition managers operate a similar "free hit" system when bringing their teams to Burton Latimer.  The experience of having to play at Latimer Park is so traumatic that mangers having to expose their precious charges to the horrors of an away day against Kettering Town have awarded themselves a "free hit".  If they get points they are tactical geniuses overcoming incredible odds.  If not, well, what did anyone expect?  Away to Kettering Town?  What chance do REAL FOOTBALLING teams have?

"A real non-league ground", says the observant
Manager of a Nationwide North team....What a melt.

Of course, we might feel the same if we were in Fylde's position.  The Rushden & Diamonds of the North West, they play in an enormous, glossy, 80% empty stadium entirely funded by a local businessman with the most northern name imaginable - David Haythornthwaite.  The Blackpool area version of Max Griggs who is backing his hobby to the tune of dozens of millions of pounds with the avowed intention of being a Football League team by 2022.....oo'er....!  Why should the ambitions of a heavily-funded, five minute old club be in any way thwarted by the likes of us with our bobbly pitch and pesky 150 years of existence?

Haythornthwaite's entire business model seemed to be based on hoovering up thousands of disillusioned Blackpool fans when they were at war with their own disreputable owners, proving for the "nth" time that these sorts of Chairmen have no idea about football fans.  We don't start supporting other clubs because we've fell out with our our club, no matter how shiny and spacious a facility you've built for us.  It also didn't help that Blackpool got their club back and are now playing in the Championship.

Anyway, if you want more reasons to despise this pointless club have a gander here.  It makes fascinating viewing - 

Fylde - The Most Hated Team in Non League

Save the date

Hey it took a while, but it’s good to see that the club is getting its act together at last to mark our 150^th anniversary.  Technically it may have passed already but let’s not split hairs.  After a distinctly low watt approach thus far, we were beginning to worry that such a momentous landmark was going to pass with just a commemorative one-off printed Patgod to herald its significance.

(copies still available BTW, buy now or regret it for ever more)

Not even our monstrous egos would regard that as sufficient.

So better late than never we say, and the announcement of a ‘Legends Game’ is a nice idea that should be fun. Kudos too for the showmanship of a daily reveal of another fondly remembered old boy who will be gracing the Latimer Park undulations come April.  Yesterday Big X, today David Bridges. Tomorrow – John Fowler?

It allows us all to play a little guessing game of the names still to come. Assumptions must include them not being too old to risk even a light, no-contact kick about, which presumably rules out 70s (in both senses) heavyweights like Ashby, Suddards and Clayton. Also a certain level of remaining fitness – which I’m guessing means no emotional return for Carl Alford, who judging by his late career expansion must now be about the size of that Chinese spy balloon.   

Brett is a given, it’s hardly worth announcing. After his Poppies career was cruelly ended on 598 appearances, let’s give him this one and bung him a pre-season friendly. Surely Craig Norman’s phone has been tinkled. Phil Brown must be lured back down from Sheffield or Colin will personally go up there and kidnap him!

But what of the out and out strikers? Wouldn’t it be great to see Johnny Graham (still only 22) fluff an easy chance one more time, and bury the more difficult one.  Or JP Marna taking a break from his well known dope habit to show he’s still got it.

But we’ll probably settle for either/or/both of the Watkins/Collins ex-Diamonds combo or perhaps Westcarr, if he hasn’t gone too far down the Alford route.

Whoever turns up, it will be a little poignant. When players move on, they remain forever frozen how we remember them.  They don’t age like the rest of us, surely?  In my mind, Nicky Evans is still how he was when, age 14, I formed a Nicky Evans fan club (membership: one). Apparently Barnet fans still worship him. Bollocks to that.  

Nicky Evans on the subs bench in April?

Enjoyable as the Legends game may be, it still feels like our 150^th deserves a bigger send off. In the entire history of organised football, very few clubs have survived that long unbroken, without reforming in some way. We probably missed a trick in not securing a friendly with Leicester City while they were in a World Cup limbo, but as recently suggested on KTFC Chat, let’s play the Sean Dyche card while we can.

Everton were formed in 1878, so new kids on the block really, but beggars can't be choosers.

 

If it's Saturday. It must be Latimer Park....

It's another exciting 6-pointer in prospect at Latimer Park this afternoon following on from the Boston heart-stopper and the "free-hit" match at safely mid-table Banbury.  Today counts again folks as we continue in our attempt to throw as many teams as we can underneath us and make the hoped for push to mid-table obscurity.  Just in time to bemoan our too-late attack of the play-off places....

The return fixture at today's opponents, Buxton was a strange game in many ways.  Firstly, we shocked the whole of the footballing world by actually taking the lead before shipping two of the softest goals you'll ever see too trail 2-1 at half-time.  Then we spent the whole of the second half peppering Buxton's goal and setting up camp in their 6-yard box.  Gary Stohrer alone must have had half a dozen attempts on goal, which tells you all you need to know about our dominance.  In the 90th minute, the man might have been this season's Poppies hero, Andy Oluwabori headed our more-than-deserved equaliser and points and honour were shared.

"On to the next match", as a thousand gaffers up and down the country would have opined at this juncture.  Except, we didn't go "on to the next match".

No, we then proceeded to play THE NEXT THREE MONTHS without scoring another away league goal, whilst registering 17 goals in the "Against" column.  In the middle of this run we also managed to keep Kings Lynn down to just the 6 goals in the FA Cup.  

What happened to us?  

It was a blow that Oluwabori disappeared back to Posh for "contract" reasons that have been explained to me several times but has never really stuck in my head.  We brought in a few players who were patently unfit, unbothered and under-performing.  Thankfully they we re soon unused then untethered and allowed to sink to their correct footballing levels.

Thankfully Glover started getting it right with his acquisitions and soon the likes of Ellis Myles, "Mad" Frankie Maguire, Tyrone Lethwaite and George Forsyth were supporting our small nucleus of reasonable players and the tide began to turn.  At this level you can't carry 2 or 3 players who aren't up to it.  Thankfully, now, we don't have to try.

90th minute at Buxton and the last Poppies away cheer for
three months, except for seeing the sea at Scarborough
and hearing Kornell McDonald had been dropped to the bench....

Flashing Blades

With the very welcome news this week that Frankie Maguire’s loan spell has been extended to the end of the season, it’s time to ask the question –

Are Sheffield United trying to make us all closet Blades fans?

It’s easy to see through their all too obvious plot.  First they loan us Harrison Neal, by the looks of him fresh out of school but immediately calm on the ball in the centre of midfield, never flash but always hitting the right pass. Now we have a real little gem for several months, crucial relegation defying months we can more confidently predict.

Leaving aside the blatant attempt to establish a fan colony in NN15, let’s be thankful that we have forged a very useful relationship with SUFC. Fair play to them for releasing some of their up and coming prospects into the whirlpool of National League North, where they rapidly gain far more experience and nous than bench warming or reserve team fixtures.

For us too it’s an unexpected upgrade to business class from many decades of milking the Peterborough teat (apologies for any distress that mental image may cause).  

Not to mention how great it is to have another player called Frankie after all these years. He’s even Frankie M with an Irish surname. Don’t underestimate the importance.

Sorry, wrong Frankie

RELAX!

If Kettering Town FC produced Gay porn movies.....