Poppies call upon old friend to inspect pitch ahead of Saturday's clash

Eager beavers Gloucester City are due at Latimer Park this coming Saturday, absolutely bursting with desperation to get three points closer to being top of the league ahead of the season being cancelled.

They will be gagging to force the Poppies to put out a team of any description that they can batter with their expensively assembled squad.

After Tuesday's postponement due to, ahem, a frozen pitch, the Poppies will again test the playing surface before Gloucester's mercenaries blitzkrieg into Burton.

Obviously, being incredibly keen to fulfil the fixture, Kettering Town have asked our old friend, and expert of the Latimer Park pitch, Russell Slade to come and perform the pre-match inspection.....

*Splash, splash*

"There's no f*cking way this pitch is playable,
Call the game off NOW!!!"

*Splash, splash*

The National League Committee Strike Back!

 It looks like that even a humble non-league blog isn't exempt from the all-encompassing tentacles of the National League committee!  Imagine our horror today at Patgod Towers as we opened the following letter - 

RULE 69.1

Dear Patgod

The League has been made aware that you have made and / or are considering making derogatory comments, statements, links and perhaps even, God forbid, a doctored meme about the National League.

I am therefore required to remind you of the League rule 69.1 specifically:

"Any blog that seeks to point out the patent inadequacies of the National League or any member of its committee, despite their obvious shortcomings is liable to expulsion, fines or a sulky pout."

In the event of this blog being in breach of being a bit sarky about us, the League may award previous of your articles to rival blogs, although what they may make of them is anyone's guess.

Don't you have the faintest idea of how hard it is for us to run this league?  How many chummy all-expenses paid jollies we're missing out on?  How incredibly difficult it is to look as though we care about anything other than keeping our promotion slots up into the EFL?  That and bending over backwards to try and get York City out of the Northern section of course, although they don't help us by being unremittingly shite.

The League requires by 12pm Friday 12 February your definitive position whether you are refusing to stop your digs at us so the League can act accordingly.  Probably we'll have a bit of a hissy fit, blame everyone else and then resign en masse.

Kind regards.....

Are you confused by what's going on with the National League?

 If so, you are not alone.  It is PATGOD's intention to lay out all the facts just to show the squirming contents of the can of worms opened by the League Management's collective shrugging of their shoulders at a situation they have created.

Well, it certainly WAS our intention to lay the facts out in a full, frank and coherent way.  But, after literally minutes of study we believe this is entirely beyond our very basic talents.  All we know is that, basically the minted and/or promotion chasing clubs want to carry on, while those with nothing to play for and/or have teetered on the brink of extinction previously want the season to end.  And the National League committee simply hope that someone else makes the decisions.

Thanks to our brand new best friends at Dulwich Hamlet FC we no longer have to scratch our heads and guess what's going on as they have done all the work for us!  Good for them.  And good for us!

Click here - let DHFC explain everything to you!

Thank you Dulwich!