Welcome to PSATGOD!

We're sad to say that our time at Harborough Town has come to an end.  HATGOD would like to thank the Chairman, The Chairman's chequebook, Manager, Players and Fan for their support over the days we have been at the club.

But now it's time for a new challenge.  A re-birth.  A fresh beginning.  We've run the risk of becoming stale at Harborough.  How many times can we joke about the number of penalties Rhys Hoenes wins?  Or tales of Joel Carta regaling the other players with his Poppies memoirs and how close he came to breaking the "Big Time."

From next week we hope you will enjoy reading Peterborough Sports at the Gates of Dawn.  It's a bold move for us and we are looking forward to this latest challenge.  And not at all looking forward to the obscene amount of money we will be forced to accept.  No, not at all.  Perish the thought.

No, we are rather looking forward to writing about old friends like Connor and Connor.  They too are looking forward to the enormous challenge of the coming season and not at all looking forward to the enormous wages being thrown at them by a club that has hardly any supporters.  They probably haven't even asked the club about remuneration yet.  They're just keen to get on with playing football.  And NOT counting and re-counting their ridiculous wedge while giggling to themselves.

Our new club badge.  We think...

Will we ever learn?

The longest day approaches - the Summer equinox.  Birds have fledged.  Preparations for Wimbledon are in full swing - British players are booking a couple of days accommodation in SW19, with a view to cancelling the second one.  Apparently the 15th of June was "World Smile Power" day.  Perhaps, but not in Kettering.

As with most close-seasons in Poppyland we have had to sit back and watch a team that came together quite nicely bleed away as on-loan players flee back to their parent clubs in time to be released and others sign for rival clubs.  Perhaps this summer seems worse as we've managed to shed a Management team, Chairman and board members at the same time.

Jordan DOESN'T
love you

As regular as top quality clockwork from the finest factories in Switzerland, Poppies social media has doused itself in petrol and set itself ablaze as the same handful of supporters forecast the end of days.  Usually because the favourite player they non-so-secretly have a man-crush on has kicked us into touch for another club who are prepared to double their wages.

Honestly, we would all enjoy the Summer far more if we'd all just chill for a couple of months and accept the following: -

Connor DOESN'T
love you

(1) Football players AREN'T football supporters, and they are NOT your friends.  They'll kiss the badge in a moment of joy, or hug supporters after netting in the 90th minute.  But they're also paid professionals who will play for a club offering the most money.  No matter who pays it.  

(2) During 2021-22 we were the 62nd best supported club in non-league.  Well behind such acknowledged giants as Marine, Hastings United, FC Isle of Man and Ilkeston.  Face it guys.  It's not 1990.  We aren't challenging for a place in the Football League.  We're not the (self-titled) non-league Manchester United anymore (actually, that's something of a relief....)  We are a middling club batting above their average.

(3) We don't have the finances to put players on long contracts.  To be honest, as a club we never have had.  Except when we were being artificially bankrolled by Imraan's old Locum company.  And, thankfully, most of us still remember how that ended.

(4) Ritchie should really keep off KTFC Chat for the duration of the Summer.  Partly to keep his blood pressure down, but mostly so he doesn't engage with our lunatic-fringe, think this represent all Poppies fans, and throw the towel in!

(5) Come the start of the season we WILL have players wearing our new 150-year shirts.  Some will be good.  Others bad.  You know, just like last season.

Whoever this guy is, he
DOESN'T love you

Dean Welcomes Kennedy to Peterborough Sports

 

Cox welcomes Crawford to Boston

 

Welcome to HATGOD

We're sad to say that our time at Kettering Town has come to an end.  PATGOD would like to thank the numerous Chairmen, Managers, Staff and especially our readership for their continued unstinting support over the years.  You've all been great.  Except, of course, for the Chairmen, Managers, Staff and fans who threatened us with bans, prosecution or hairy kisses.

But now it's time for a new challenge.  A fresh start.  A breaking dawn.  An exciting re-birth.  A new challenge and a fresh start.  And a new challenge.

So, starting next season we hope you enjoy reading "Harborough at the Gates of Dawn".  The offer we received to drop a couple of divisions and shoot blogged fish in a lower league barrel AND be paid handsomely was far too good to resist.  

We hope you will continue to read HATGOD and amusing articles about spotting the fans at home games, Mitch Austin's beard maintenance tips and writing about former Poppies players you were convinced had retired or died years ago.

So, watch out Boldmere St Michaels, Dereham Town and Sporting Khalsa!  HATGOD is coming for you!

Please be aware that in an effort to generate the funds needed to
hoover up every mercenary has-been in the area we are going to 
need to monetise HATGOD.

By reading this article you now owe us £1.75.  Click here to
pay into HTFC's Paypal account.

Don't Let the Door Hit You in the Ass......

Anyone else getting some serious deja-vu whenever players leave clubs during the close season these days?  I mean, is there a template they use?  Are they legally obliged to follow the same script?  When was the last time a player left a club without their tweet reading a little like this.....

"My time at (insert club name here) has come to an end.  I want to thank (insert club name here) and especially the fans who have been brilliant during my time here.

It's time for a new challenge, I'm ready for the next step, I'm looking forward to the latest chapter, I'm prepared for what comes next and other self-motivational bullshit.

I wish (insert club name here) all the best for the future.  C'mon you (insert club nickname here)!"

If you're leaving just f**king leave.  Go sign for that bigger club.  Go get that bigger paycheck.  But if you want your former supporters to think well of you at least write an original leaving message and not just re-hash a cut-and-paste effort.

You're leaving? Well Boo Hoo!
We'll miss you until you're replaced and then
in 6-months we'll have forgotten you entirely!