Friday, 19 September 2014

Scotland Says No


So we get to keep this place.

England and Scotland's relationship will carry on just as Kettering and Corby's one does. We get to act in a superior manner (for no really apparent reason), and they continue to act as though they have a chip on each shoulder. "Better Together?" Not really, but we do like having each other around to wind up!

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Egoista, me?

I'm not really looking for the sympathy vote, or even moderate empathy, but for a moment last Tuesday I rather hoped the floodlights remained off. Such an action may have ultimately cost us 3-points, and a healthy chunk of numbers in the "Goals For" column. But, nursing a glass of something most acceptable, watching the sun set blazingly over the Mediterranean whilst listening to the hit-an-miss radio service from Latimer Park, the sudden loss of power to the floodlights gave me a moment's weakness. "If there's no sparky in the crowd, those lights won't be coming back on" I mused. "That means I'll be back home for the rescheduled game." "I won't miss out!" But then, I gave way to the better part of my nature. Let the game finish, I generously thought. The lights came back on and the game was completed without me. I called the barman over and re-ordered. Something cool for the warm, sweet night. questa รจ la vita

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Happy Birthday

PATGOD reached a bit of a landmark during the past week – its 25th anniversary. It was a raucous affair as you might expect – dwarf tossing, snorting coke off a hooker’s ass, a game of crib. We partied like it was 1989. But actually that date sends a bit of a shiver down the spine. Was it really a whole quarter century ago that the inky, photocopied parent of this sleek electronic blog first emerged blinking into the light? Where did all the years go? Not to mention our hair?

Back then, fanzines broke new ground because they gave football fans a means to express their views by taking the publication into their own hands. At the time this was quite a big step. Sports coverage was far more limited than today and there was no room for the opinions of supporters. Apart from sanitised (by necessity) bits and bobs in programmes.  Within a couple of years, broadcasters cottoned on and the first great example was the creation of 6-0-6 hosted by Danny Baker.  Like a radio version of a funny, intelligent argument in a pub, it was liberating. So much so that within a couple more years, the BBC had replaced him with David Mellor as if to say, that’s enough of that sort of thing thank you.

The likes of Mellor seemed to set the tone for a decade or more of token fan input – only numpties allowed on air – then the rise of social media and no-cost blogs gave supporters a new means of expression. By then the traditional printed fanzine was rather old hat.  We should know, having knocked out paper editions of PATGOD covering events from 3 months earlier, whereas now you can follow a game live on t’net and even watch it (if the camera is pointing in the right direction and someone has remembered to put a shilling in the meter). And then argue about it with fellow keyboard warriors. All in their underpants.

Now, in the age of incessant comment, everyone has an opinion and it’s out there.  Who hasn’t had their enjoyment of a major international enhanced by a scrolling bar saying "cum on England u can do it"? Or listened to a Liverpool supporter living in Devon who wasn’t at the game today and didn’t see it on TV but is certain it wasn’t a penalty.

Public opinion. It’s over rated.

Issue 1. Early desktop publishing.  

Thursday, 4 September 2014

Bye, bye Baby

Ross Oulton's return to Daventry comes as no surprise.  Following in the barely lamented footsteps of Scott Cross, Oulton has run, crying back to the purple hatters because he can't get his own way at the Poppies.

Good luck to Ross.

Good luck being back with his old purple hat-hiding pals.

Good luck not having to compete for a starting place.

Good luck back playing in front of double figure crowds.

Want guaranteed start in guaranteed position. 

Henry, why do you keep thinking the grass is greener?

News that Henry may well be on his way out of the club yet again shouldn't really surprise us.  He'll pop off for a while.  Realise he's not quite as good as he thinks he is (at least without Tommy alongside him).  Sit on the bench at Kings Lynn for a few games.  Then get back here in time to scoop Player of the Year again!

From what we are led to believe, Henry is entirely reliant on other people to get him to and from games and training.  That's all well and good if Kings Lynn have someone who is (a) domiciled in Birmingham, (b) guaranteed to keep playing for Kings Lynn, and (c) happy to act as Henry's taxi service.

Failing that we have looked into Henry's options using public transport.

On Saturdays, by train, Henry will have a cosy 7-hours roundtrip with a cheery hour-long stop over in Ely.  Hope Henry is on a good screw, because a return ticket would cost over 60 notes.

A cheaper option would be make the journey by coach.  The good news is that it costs half as much as the train.  The bad news is that he would need to catch the coach on Friday afternoon, and spend 6 hours getting to Kings Lynn on Friday night.  Get a room.  Play Saturday afternoon.  There's good news for the return journey in as much as it's an hour shorter.  There's more bad news however as this bus doesn't leave until Sunday morning, meaning a second overnight in Kings Lynn.  All told, a pretty tiring 48 hour door-to-door outing.  Phew!

Who knows, the next time he comes knocking on Ritchie's door, no-one might answer.....

Henry Eze presents Ken Samuel with the Poppies Award for Loyalty.
The one award Henry himself is unlikely to ever win.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Finally, some good news from NN9

With 2015 on the horizon, our thoughts turn to our late, lamented home on the banks of the Nene, and the fervent hopes that the excellent businessmen who own the excellent site can make an acceptable return on their investment.  We dread to think that the Hills, and Cousens of this world do not make a maximum financial return.  We can't think of many other people who deserve to succeed as much as these fine gentlemen.

News that the Nene Park site is to be developed has been splashed all over the local media -

According to the report, elements of the history of Rushden & Diamonds FC will be incorporated into any new development on the site.  There are no reports yet whether this will take the form of a statue of a one-eyed cattle fondler, or painting of an enormous bag of money, or a mural of an enormous white elephant.

Not that this is the only vagueness contained in the report.  Unless others much cleverer than us know exactly what a "leisure zone" and a shopping zone" are.

All we hope is that when the demolition of the football ground commences we are all given plenty of notice to allow us to purchase enormous sledgehammers, and drink lots of fluid to ensure we can piss all over the place as we smash the f*cking hole up.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Opinions, opinions, opinions

They say football is all about opinions.  This is true at Kettering Town FC.  And nowhere more true than within the online Poppies community.

Once upon a time, people had opinions on players, oppositions, performances, management, officials, grounds, crowds, food, programmes and any of dozens of other subjects.

A lot of you aren't going to like to read this, but, today, far too many supporters spend far too much time criticising just two things. 

(1) The fact that we don't hammer out of sight with perfect, flowing football every team we play against. 
And, (2) Slagging off any supporter who suggests that, considering where the club was just 12 months ago, being top of the league after half a dozen games, is actually a GOOD thing!

The fact the club could, and perhaps should have folded several times in the past couple of years seems to have been conveniently glossed over by too many people lining up to moan.  Sorry, offer opinions.  One senses that the majority of those who are complaining about the performances so far this season probably weren't around much during the final days at Non Park.  Nor attended many games at the permanently freezing Steel Park.  There were times when you genuinely attended games knowing that you were going to be well beaten, AND it could easily be the last game the club played.  A time when it would have been very easy to give in and walk away.  Most did.

More than likely, those complaining loudest now had given up on the club during this period and have little inkling of what those who chose to actively try to save the Poppies actually did during these darkest of dark days.  It they did, I'm sure they wouldn't belittle their efforts by trying to paper over our very recent past, and shout down anyone who dares to mention this period.

Yes, I chose to wade through all the "End of Days" horror of the fall of the house of Non Park.  I stumbled out of that cursed place, numb, after the Bashley game, when the few players and supporters who turned up knew that was, baring a miracle, our last ever game.

I huddled up on an empty, frozen terrace at Corby, often watching several goals per game fly into our net.  I chose to stick with the club until the bitter end.  I'm not looking for praise or a medal.  Psychiatric help maybe....  But, I tell you what, I am really taking pleasure in seeing my team do well again.  I don't even really care that the games we are winning are in reduced circumstances.  We are winning.  We are top of our league.  We don't look like going bust every week.  The club is being run by people I trust.  I'm not even finding Cyril at the games that annoying!

I feel far less inclined to offer piffling, petty criticism of the manner of our winning, or whether our managers gee up the players enough.  Having looked into the abyss of the club's oblivion I have learned to take pleasure in seeing the Poppies bloom.  And if someone who has moaned and whined through the paper and electronic pages of PATGOD for much of the past 25 years or so, can start to feel happy about the Poppies, surely there is a chance for everyone else?

And if you don't like what I've written - well tough!  It's my opinion!

Dirty Harry cuts though the sh*t