Thursday, 31 July 2014

What we did in the holidays part 1 - Comings and Goings

So, what has our club been up to during these warm summer months?  And more importantly, what is PATGOD's opinion?

For the first time in a long time, we will be starting the season with the majority of the players who ended the previous campaign.  This never used to be a big deal, as players racked up 100, 200 appearances for the club.  Often these players were cheerily greeted during the first pre-season game with a heartfelt, "I see your bloody well still 'ere then?"  In recent years we have started with different line-ups, different managers, hell, even different stadiums!

Our managerial triumvirate has become a duo since last season, with Crooner Thomas heading to a Rat Pack Tribute Night somewhere near you.

This season we are still at Latimer Park, and still looking at most of the same heavily tattooed players we grew to love over the past 12 months or so.  One or two didn't stay.  Elliot Sandy has gone to Dunstable, but, as reasonable a player as he was, I would keep Moreman and Dubi ahead of him.  Any day.

James Jepson has chosen to leave and has already had another 2 clubs in the time it has taken to type this.  Another good, if limited player, it was no coincidence that our upturn in fortunes coincided with him arriving at Latimer Park.  With the arrival of Oulton and the return of Brett and diddy Andy Hall, JJ's opportunities were likely to be limited this season.  It's understandable that James is looking for first team football, but his departure has been met with despair in some quarters.  Main JJ Groupie, and chips aficionado, Dennis Kendall texted us to say, "Best midfielder, lovely left foot.  Not a great start to the season - are Thomas Bailey and Scott Machin bringing in their mates?  Sad.  No ambition!"

The loss of Worby in goal may be a bigger gap to fill as no-one has filled us with terrific confidence yet.  And without Andy Osei-Siribour we will need at least another body to sit on our bench.

Coming Soon - What we did in the holidays part 2 - Behind the Scenes.  Can't wait eh?  We can't blame you!

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Poppies ready for that difficult "second album"

This coming season is the Club's 142nd.  But, in reality, given the upheavals of the recent past, this could be seen as "Year Two".  Last season was by turns, nervous, horrendous, apocalyptic, uplifting, exciting, disappointing and hilarious*

What should we expect this year? 

Hopefully we will manage to build upon the good things from last season, such as an improving squad, improving facilities, and improving supporter numbers.  Hopefully the ultimate disappointment of the play-off final capitulation won't have put off those wavering supporters who have slowly drifted back to the club. 

Obviously the vast majority of the 2000 Kettering fans who stole my position at Latimer Park won't be back again in a hurry.  Not that I would have expected them to, even if we had won promotion.  Like most clubs, we have a large wedge of people who are attracted to the "big games".  Once it meant a trip to Wembley, or Selhurst Park, or Ewood Park.  These days it means crowding around a bobbly field in Burton Latimer.

But it would be good for the club if a few more were persuaded to return.  More people equals more money equals better team equals more success, even if it also means more f*cking people nicking my spot at the ground.

The club hierarchy seem to be trying to do things right.  Making Martin Bellamy the Commercial Director is an obvious step given he has been doing this unofficially for years.  If nothing else, it increases our chances of securing sponsorship from the Melton Mowbray area.

Keeping prices the same for next year is a good move, along with allowing those who wish to reserve a seat to do so for a small additional charge.  Anyone moaning about this could do worse than consider seated supporters always paid more than us mere Terrace Gods until we were exiled to Non Park.  So, shut up and pay your money!

An open evening to allow people to pop up to Latimer Park to buy Season tickets would be a good idea, especially since some of us have managed to be away whenever the forms have been accepted at the Newland Centre!

On the pitch the squad looks a damn sight better than the one that started last season like runaway sloths.  At this level the likes of Brett and Andy Hall should be more than useful.  Hopefully Dubi will get his head back on straight and come out all guns blazing.  Likewise we trust Henry will finally realise that everyone except us think he's sh*t and commit to us for a whole season!

We owe no former owners anything. We owe no former landlords anything.  We have a playing squad.  We have a management team.  We have a Board of Directors who we know and mostly trust (no one can entirely trust a suspiciously rabid George Michael fan).  We have a goodly number of typically thick, pig-ignorant, boorish but loveable supporters.  As long as bloody Burton Park Wanderers don't go  bust, things are looking good for this season!

Now, let's go and piss this poxy league!

*the fact that Daventry couldn't buy a goal against us, no matter how many games we played!

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Farewell to Sid

The best we can do to add our condolences on the death of Sid Chapman is to repeat here a cartoon in which he featured in PATGOD back in 1996.  What we were on back then....?

God knows Sid made of it!  But, we'd like to think that, deep down, he would have appreciated being the only Poppies supporter to ever get his own comic strip in the fanzine.  Surely that would count for something?

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Update from Guy


Thought I'd drop a quick line to let you know what's going on in Branstonville and to catch up with what's new with the Puppies.  But that's enough about you - what about me?

Unbelievable, I know, but I'm going to be hanging my boots up, even though I'm still officially only 31!  Ha Ha!

When I finished last season at Plymouth I thought it was about time I gave the Premier League a crack.  My Agent assured me that there was a LOT of interest, but, strangely, nothing seems to come of it.....

Well, bollox to it!  I've decided to leave footie behind and try pastures new. The BBC website did a nice write-up about me, but with one tiny error -

"He has had 19 different clubs, played more than 450 professional games and headed countless long balls back from whence they came."

As you all know, I NEVER headed the ball straight anywhere!  Ha Ha!

Branston - even teammates weren't safe!