Monday, 27 June 2011


Life was simpler in the old days (by old days, of course I mean more than 10 days ago). Something happened, my gut feeling told me yes or no. Then along came Wicksteed Park. My heart said no, my head said... is there any option? My gut spoiled the ballot paper. Then the Trust had its EGM and the crucial vote about whether to back the NP plans or go it alone. Head said keep supporting KTFC until it’s not KTFC any more, heart said but it’s only a matter of time. Gut was still declining to comment.

And then just when I thought I’d wrestled with enough dilemmas for one summer, along comes the reappointment of MM.

My head reminds me this was the guy that cocked up our promotion bid despite an abundance of attacking talent, signed the likes of Moses Olaleye, Nathan Koo Boothe and (but for a mix up over forms) Ali Dia, went on to earn a year’s ban for chinning his top scorer at Halesowen and the less said about his time at Chester the better.

My heart says, yes but he also signed JP, Westcarr, Howe and Dempster, put out a Poppies team that won 10-1 and bridged three divisions against Oldham, played some of the best football I’ve seen in three decades at RR and even managed to inject some instant entertainment when taking over Lee Harper’s moribund troops for a brief fling.

Gut feeling? Ok he’s not the first name on anyone’s list and not even his good friend IL, who admitted to having targeted two BSP managers first. But football is above all meant to be entertainment and one way or another that is guaranteed with MM at the wheel (picture at this point one hand fiddling with the sat nav whilst the other inserts a lively CD whilst the vehicle somehow remains on the road – just).

Friday, 24 June 2011

An unsolicted article - hang out the bunting!

Graham James wrote to PATGOD, "I don't know if you want this but it was something I wrote in 2007 (Seems longer ago than that!) for a PATGOD but Shorty stopped doing them so it didn't get included.Seems quite relevant again! I don't think it too libellous is it?"

Nah, not too libellous.  In fact I had to read it twice just to convince myself that this didn't actually happen!  Anyway, remember PATGOD'S motto, "We Print Anything!"


This was an article written for a PATGOD magazine that Shorty never got round to producing. To put it into context, it was near the end of the season when we knew we could no longer win automatic promotion and Morrell was replaced by Graham Westley and when The Gob was still the Radio Northampton reporter. Seems quite topical now.

SDC: Well Morrell, that’s it then for another season. You didn’t quite manage to fulfil your promise of the championship, but at least we have the play-offs to look forward to. I’m sure lots of Poppies supporters out there, (and I’m sure that many of them are listening whilst driving home disappointed from the game after another fantastic turn-out from them today, and indeed at most away games this season, in fact some clubs in this league would like their home attendances to be as big as our away following, and most clubs will miss our away support when we do leave this league, and I’m sure that I can speak for all Kettering fans out there when I say that I will gladly buy you a pint of whatever you drink Morrell, when we do eventually get back into what many Poppies fans think is our rightful home in the top level of non-league football,) will want to know is why, despite us playing some wonderful, free-flowing football at times, we didn’t go on to win the league. Do you have any answers for that Morrell?

MM: No.


MM: Let me finish Simon! What I was going to say Simon is that today, as in all games this season, even the ones we lost, we asked lots of questions of Hinckley today.

SDC: The trouble is they knew the answers.

MM: With all disrespect, I disagree with you there. I thought we were on top for most of the game and their two goals came out of the blue, but that’s football. I’m sure that if we keep on playing like that for the rest of the season we should be OK.

SDC But Morr…

MM: No Simon, we bossed the game again. We just happened to score fewer goals. You know, I love this stage of the season. It’s my mate Sir Alex calls squeaky bum time and when I was talking to Big Ron the other day, he agreed. It’s when it sorts out the men from the boys. It’s the time to stand up and be counted. Every game is a 6-pointer, like a cup-final.

SDC; Eh, sorry to butt in but can just remind our listeners, what job you did before you got into football management.

MM: I delivered speeches about male cow manure.

SDC: Oh yeah.

MM: But anyway, what I’m concentrating on now is winning the league.

SDC: but Morr..

MM: I still believe we can do it and if you’ve got belief you know, you can do anything. You have to first believe in yourself, then you must have belief in your players and, most importantly, the chairman must have belief in you.

SDC: Well, I’m sure that we all must agree that there is no doubt that there is ample proof that your last point is without doubt. The chairman has backed you all the way allowing you to sign players like Caskey and Olayaye so you be very confident that you have his full support if he is willing to do that.

MM: Yes, I agree with you there Simon 110%. That is why I still believe the championship is within our grasp. Now, before you interrupt again, I know that there are some doubters out there who are starting to say that we’re not going to win the league but I have a message for them. As long as I am manager here, I am utterly convinced we can do it. I know the other results haven’t gone the way that we would have liked but all I can do is concentrate on our game and not worry about what the others are doing.

SDC: I hear what you say Morrell but I’m sure all the Poppies fans will be listening to this and be thinking that, as we cannot now catch Droylsden, and I’m sure that we would all love to put one over Mr Pace, who is not one of the most favourite person amongst us supporters, that we cannot now win the league.

MM: But I don’t want to hear talk like that. You just never know. It might turn out that they have played an ineligible player and be deducted points. We have a team of experts trawling through the records as we speak. Or, they might hit financial trouble and go into administration and be deducted 10 points before the end of the season. We have spies in the Droyslden office and have bugged Pace’s telephones to try and get some inside information. And, you just never know, we might get an early Christmas present from someone. The Christmas fairies might come up with something, Paul Daniels might conjure up 5 points from somewhere.

SDC: Er, Morrell, isn’t this just a fantasy?

MM: Look again, you are just being negative. I never use the word negative, I say “not quite totally positive”, in fact I can’t spell negative, in fact I don’t know what it means.

(Noise of mobile phone in background)

SDC: Oh. Morrell. I’ve just had a text from Imraan that might be of interest to you. It says that you have been sacked.

MM: Now that must be a fantasy!

Thursday, 23 June 2011

Attention footballers!

Are you an attack minded player of Afro-Carribean extraction?

Do you like juggling the ball?

Do you think defending is something for other players to deal with?

Are you ready to sign a lucrative contract?

Are you a bit of a show pony, with little or no end product?

Do you look REALLY good in training?

Do you rarely break sweat during a game?

Are you likely to disappear when the weather turns a tad inclement?

Then stand by your phone as Morrell may well be giving you a call!

Just keep repeating to yourself, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie,do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie, do not re-sign Marcel Mckie.  Please!

Congrats to you all!

Wednesday 22nd June 2011 was the most successful day in PATGOD history, with in excess of 500 visits recorded - our thanks to you all.

What are the odds that this figure will prove to be higher than at least one mid-week, mid-winter Poppies "home" fixture against non-glamorous opponents next season?

The Kettering Diamonds could be born that very day!

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Your Guide to No-Name Park Part Two!

Everyone, hold your horses!  There's been a tiny, almost unnoticeable change to the plans for Non Park.

Hang on lads, I've got an

Monday, 20 June 2011

Your Guide to No-Name Park

Ahead of the new season we include our handy guide as to where you should go to at No-Name Park so that you feel most at home.  The final details are subject to amendment.  For example, there may be a late flood of axe-grinding former club employees, or slightly fewer slightly-dazed Direones.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Devil in the detail

Towards the end of Friday's rally, sorry, forum, it was clear that Imraan was going to carry the day, and that any request for clarification on certain points was likely to be shouted down, or worse.  Several points Imraan raised were whipped through quickly, and serious questions left to hang.  Are we the only people left wondering......

Exactly why Imraan would commit 50K per year to Rockingham Road, but as soon as Greedy Ben wanted  70K or 80K this changed to the supporters paying the whole amount?

Imraan played his audience
well at Wickies
How exactly are off field facilities going to generate the funds necessary to run Non Park, as they didn't manage to previously, even when 3-4000 were in regular attendance?

And, exactly which parts of the complex would we be using?  This seemed to change every time Imraan spoke.

How many sub 1000 games will it take to consider renaming us Northants County or some other such family-friendly, non-offensive title?  Best hope it doesn't rain if we have Forest Green at home on a Tuesday night in January!

Imraan mentioned the several big name companies who are suddenly in favour of throwing money at us, but never quite got around to naming any of them.

Are we really to believe that no figure for the rent has been agreed with Cousins, when a figure has been bandied around for weeks?  Or, if it is going to be appreciably higher than Rockingham Road, how will it be sustainable?

And would Imraan ever consider moving back to the borough were it to be possible?  This was the only question that looked to fluster him on the night.  The answer should have been,"Of course", but perhaps he baulked at this reply because his signature was still drying on the contract he had just signed in Irthlingborough?

Hopefully these questions will be addressed before the big move?

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Choke on it

If there's one sliver of gratification to be gained from recent events, it's that for the final two years of the RR lease, Ben Pickering will reap his slice of gate receipts from the ladies team and the reserves. No disrespect to them, but I hope the extra £4.22 makes him very happy.

Well done Ben, you've managed to bugger this one up.
Now that the deal is done let's hear the last of any BP appeasement. "Ben saved the club in 1985". "Ben is just a businessman, you can't blame him". Various people claimed to be "close to Ben". And a fat lot of good it did us. For the last 26 years BP has profited to a quite extraordinary extent from his initial £70k investment, gifted him by a callow bunch of directors who to our eternal dismay never tested the willingness of the fans to put up or shut up. Maybe they wouldn't, but we'll never know.

Instead "Ben" has earned a fortune doing nothing except sit tight and occasionally tighten the tourniquet.

So enjoy the last few quid coming your way until you can eventually turn the old ground into houses. Well done you. Once there was a chance you could leave a legacy beyond pounds and pence. Not any more.

Initial thoughts - don't expect a rational analysis yet

When the final whistle blew at Rockingham Road on Saturday April the 30th, one set of supporters were in despair and the other were happy at ending the season on a high. Today I suspect many of us would swap places with Southport. Reprieved by Rushden's demise, they can look forward to another BSP season in their own ground in their own town. We, on the other hand, will never have that privilege again, and face a future as an American style franchise transplant. Not quite on the same geographical scale as the Brooklyn Dodgers moving to California, but far enough for the type of Kettering fan who baulks at walking to the opposite end of the ground to buy a ticket.

It's hard to shake the feeling that the stark choice which was presented last night has been carefully engineered, with a degree of collusion between like minded individuals. From a cold business perspective there is a certain logic to it - club with no stadium, meet stadium with no club. Happy ever after. Imraan must have been mightily encouraged by the show of hands of those willing to go to NP, more surely than he can possibly have expected. If nothing else, this shows what a salesman he is. And how suggestible were many of the audience.

Trying to put nostalgia and sentiment aside (difficult), I am attempting to visualise a future at a smart, modern stadium decked out in red and black, with stands named after Poppies legends (please God NOT Sid Chapman), a proper little museum, and all trace of R&D eradicated. Would that be so bad?

But who would go? And for how long? Maybe 75% of our hardcore, at least initially. A few hundred plastics. Away fans obviously. Average crowds in the low to mid 1,000s - just like at Rockingham Road? And on a wet midweek night when Man Utd are on the box, when the novelty has worn off, and it's a toss up between another crawl up the A6 or a quiet night in? 500? All by car of course. No public transport, and much too far to walk.

And would the partisan, guttural Rockingham Road roar survive the transfer or be diluted? Would it become another nice neutered family crowd loudly mocked from the away end?

Perhaps the key assurance that appeased the Wicksteeds gathering was the pledge - if it was a pledge - that the club will always remain KTFC. Providing crowds don't dip below an arbitrary level. Or until the profile of the support has shifted away from Kettering to the point that there's a majority in favour of a new name?

Deep down I fear that even if the name stays the same, the club will evolve into something different, a broader thing that is linked to Kettering in title only. After all, isn't that part of the plan? Imraan has no emotional attachment to the town or its fans, to him they are just customers and if some of them are lost but more come from elsewhere, fine. But the demise of Rushden proved that you can't build a lasting football club on shallow foundations, and small town, one-eyed and dense as some Poppies fans may be, they care and enough have stuck with the club through thick and thin to keep it alive this long. They are the heart and soul. And there is a lot of soul searching to be done now and in the coming weeks.

Friday, 17 June 2011

The End

Like most pro-Rockingham Road supporters I have left before the end of the procession meeting tonight.  I only hope that when Imraan finally calls for a show of hands the fact that only the pro-Non Pak element will be left in the building will be taken into account. But I doubt it.

It is a sad day for KTFC that so many of the supporters there tonight are not only content, but seemingly happy to go Irthlingborough. I'm sure some were already considering which seat they wanted to reserve in the Bestiality Stand or, as it will soon be renamed, the "Sid Chapman Bestiality" stand.  If they were really so f*cking desperate to go to Non Park why didn't the f*ck off down there 10 years ago when they at least had a good team there!

But you've got to hand it to Imraan.  He's as slick as snot that's been covered in an oil-spill.  He looks like he's got his way.  He's manged to get Poppies fans verbally abusing other Poppies fans for daring to say they want to support a Kettering team IN Kettering!  Masterful!

Who'd have thought that the Diamonds going bust would have bit us on the arse so badly?

The following link might prove useful.

Please bear in mind tonight....

...when Imraan is busy telling us that we have no future in Kettering that we do still have TWO YEARS left on our lease at Rockingham Road. 

Just because he whistles, doesn't mean we have to scurry around....

Imraan:  "In you get, lads!"
Us: "Baa!"

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Imraan - It all comes down to one question in the end.

We've all got dozens of questions for Imraan ahead of tomorrow night.  Has he really already signed a contract to move us to Non Park?  Exactly how much is Ben Pickering asking for?  How long would it be before we had to change our name in order to remain out of the Borough?  Is he prepared to walk away if the fans go against his wishes?  Endless questions.

But in the end there is but one question for any Poppies supporter, and ultimately for Imraan himself.

Would you rather watch a potentially relegation threatened, part-time Kettering Town FC play at Rockingham Road, or a potentially upper mid-table, full-time "Kettering Diamonds FC" play at Nene Park?

At the end of the day, regardless of any club owner's hopes and dreams of League Football and large off-field facilities, this is the only question that counts for anything.

Will Imraan dare to put this question to us?  Or if one of us asks it, would Imraan dare to answer it?

See you at Wickies tomorrow.  Come on you Poppies!

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Imraan on the radio this morning

Being a man I'm not usually good with sub-texts, or "reading between the lines", but Imraan's interview this morning on Radio Northampton left very little to be misconstrued.

Annoyingly DJ Joe, who can generally be relied upon to start an argument with anyone he interviews, whether they are apologists for the Holocaust, or grannies trying to set-up a cake baking society, gave Imraan far too easy a ride.  Not so much a grilling, as a light dusting with icing sugar.

As well as not being much good with sub-texts, I'm also not much of a fortune teller.  However, I'm prepared to stick my neck out a little and look forward a couple of days: -

This Friday, a select grouping of season ticket holders and Trust members are invited to an as yet, undetermined meeting at Wicksteeds.  Presumably these two groups are seen by Imraan as the more pliable element of the Poppies support (which could be the first of many BAD CALCULATIONS). 

On the afternoon of the meeting Imraan will announce that all Poppies fans are invited, in the hope that such a late invite will hit numbers.  A smaller turn-out can then be used as further evidence that the people of Kettering really aren't that fussed about the club....

At the meeting Imraan will speak very eloquently, and state a very persuasive case for us taking over Non Park.  He will highlight all the following, and perhaps more reasons to move: -
  • The rent will be lower. 
  • The facilities much better. 
  • The ability to raise additional funds with be heightened due to these improved facilities.
  • Ben Pickering is asking for far too much money.
  • The Council do not want us in Kettering.
  • We have no future unless we take over at NP.
  • The carrot of "far east investment", and "doing a Crawley" will be dangled.
We will remain Kettering Town FC for the meantime.  Perhaps mention will be made of the fact that to stay at Non Park in the middle to long term may need a little tweak to include the word "Rushden" or "Diamonds" in our name.  But only after a potentially shiny and Football League-style future has been spoken about at length.

The fact that this experiment has been done before and failed will probably be glossed over.  The fact that good facilities in an area WITH NO PEOPLE are worse than moderate facilities with a large population will be ignored.

If and when this meeting is confirmed, we have all got to be there.  If you want us to stay in Kettering, and be Kettering there can be no excuses for non-attendance.  Don't worry about the season ticket or Trust bollox - be there and have your say.  It will be difficult for Imraan to justify a move if the overwhelming majority are vehemently opposed.  At the same time our councillors, and even Pickering's people have got to wise-up and see that time is about to run out.  It really is now or never.

Really, really don't try to f*ck us over.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Diamonds Aftermath Part Three - Ben Pickering

Ben Pickering's position within the tangled web of Kettering town Football Club has always been a difficult one to assess.  True, he purchased the ground and agreed to rent it back to us, which saved us once upon a time.  But then, this was only because our board of directors at the time were so criminally short-sighted.  Ben saw the main chance and for a figure as low £70,000.00 made what was almost certainly the best investment he has ever made in his life.

He has continued to rent our ground back to us ever since, which, puts him firmly in the "plus" column.  Is it his fault that the various renegotiation's have favoured him so much?  Better surely to blame the various Poppies directors and chairman for allowing him to set some pretty outlandish terms (percentage of FA Cup AWAY games earnings FFS!).

In very real terms, he is the one man in the world with the power of life and death over the Poppies.  Not Imraan.  Not the Council.  Certainly not us fans.  Just him.  Him and his ownership of the one thing we simply cannot replace - Rockingham Road.

From his point of view he is on to a winner all ways round.  We stay - we pay what he says.  We leave - he applies for planning permission and the makes another killing.  Worse case scenario, we're gone, and he can't sell for houses straight away.  But even then, what does he lose?  Nothing.  The ground has earned back his investment many times over.  And land never decreases in value.  One day it will sell, and his family will benefit. 

So, what do WE suggest he does?  Pie in the sky admittedly, but would it affect the quality of life him in the slightest if he signed the ground over to the Supporters Trust, but had a caveat that any sale would benefit his estate?  This means he would have saved the Poppies twice and be a hero to generations of supporters to come.  Like 99.9% of Poppies fans, I've never met the guy, but would have no problem with attending the "Ben Pickering" stadium for for the rest of my life!  All thoughts on Non Park kicked into touch forever!

Come on Ben, we know you're a regular reader!  You know it makes sense!

Diamonds Aftermath Part Two - Rushden & Diamonds FC

The best thing they can do is give up the ghost, and stop clutching at the straws of phantom Japanese investment, or keeping their fingers crossed, or whatever they are doing at the moment, and go cap in hand to the current landlords at Hayden Road.  Even if this means going on their knees and begging Rushden and Higham Town FC to be allowed to return to the town and all merge together as one "big club."

The new club could, theoretically, be called, Rushden Rangers and Higham Town and Rushden Town and Irthlingborough Diamonds Football Club. 

If it was, the supporters would definitely have to think twice before starting the chant, "Give me an R...."

Diamonds Aftermath Part One - Imraan

Imraan, please, please do not see the imminent demise of the Direones as an opportunity to stick two fingers up to Pickering and the Council.  There's a very real reason that there's no club playing there anymore - the ground is a millstone around the neck of any club wanting to play there!

I don't believe for a second that you want to be the man who killed the Poppies.

I don't believe for a second you will go against the wishes of the vast majority of Poppies supporters and move our club out of town.

If nothing else, the Direones debacle has shown in the starkest terms possible the desperate need to run a club sustainably.  No more binge spending in August, followed by hideous cost cutting when it becomes clear we are not going to win the FA Cup!  Work out the budget.  Stick to it.  Treat the supporters with a bit of respect and not merely a hindrance to be addressed periodically. 

Build some bridges with the Council and the landlord.  Stop playing at football club chairman and actually be one, even if that includes doing some of the boring stuff, like ensuring the club is run properly.  Football isn't all about clinching that player on the phone and punching the air, on nailing down an agent in last few seconds before the transfer window closes.  It sometimes means making sure the club office has ink toner in the photocopier.  Boring, but necessary - particularly if we need to fax confirmation of that last minute signing to the FA......

Saturday, 11 June 2011

Saturday 11th June 2011

Where are all the diehard Diamonds fans headed now? 
Back to Bedford?  MK Dons? Cobblers?  Us????
"Diamonds expelled from the Conference."

Five words. 

Start to finish in under twenty years. 

Kinda shocked. Just assumed they would be saved.  Kudos though to Glenn Hoddle for reading the previous article.

Want to celebrate, but too stunned.

Weird, eh?

Friday, 10 June 2011

Oi Hoddle! NO!

Glenn, in between stints as one of the most talented footballers of your generation, you've made some serious blunders.

Surely you remember THAT mullet?

We still haven't forgotten "Diamond Lights", although, God knows, we wish we could.

"I want you to support John Fashanu down the channels"
Surely even you must cringe when recalling blaming people's infirmities on past lives?

And your decision to play Eileen Drewery as centre forward during a World Cup qualifying campaign must surely rank as one of the least shrewd managerial decisions of recent years? 

Admittedly, not as bad as the England managers who allowed David Batty to rack up over 40 international caps, but still pretty bad!  And then the same England bosses (including yourself) somehow orchestrated Carlton Palmer ending up with twice as many England caps as Matt Le Tissier, so there were plenty of questionable decisions all round!

But this latest foolhardy adventure concerning yourself, a bunch of teenage boys and the near expired corpse of Rushden & Diamonds is A STEP TOO FAR!

 Do the decent thing and let that poor, raddled, dying club quietly end its suffering and shrug off it's mortal coil once and for all.  It is the Christian thing to do.

Thursday, 9 June 2011

Name and Shame

At a time of the year when Poppies news is just about nil (bar the insubstantial rumourmonging of former club employees and other 5 minute wonders on Poppynet) it's heartening that Corby Town can still help fill out a blog.  And opening up the naming of this year's brand new ground to the public is far too good an opportunity to pass up for a Poppies fan!

When this was discussed on the local radio, all the obvious, banal names were trotted out, such as the Jimmy Kane Stadium, the Steelworks Stadium, or even, God-forbid, the Corby CITY Stadium!

Surely we can do better?

Our suggestions may be equally obvious, but hopefully not quite so banal!  Lets start with the ones that capture the unique flavour of Corby... What about the IRN BRU Stadium?  Or the CARELESSLY DISGUARDED HYPODERMIC Stadium?  Or perhaps the RAMPANT ARSONISTS Stadium?

How about the equally popular, slightly more sectarian suggestions?  The BOBBY SANDS Stadium?  Or the WILLIAM OF ORANGE Stadium?  Perhaps it can change between WEE PARKHEAD and WEE IBROX on alternate home games?  The only downside here is that it might half their already meagre support.

Does anyone else have any other suggestions?  Beyond of course, the JEALOUS POPPIES WHO DON'T HAVE A POT TO PISS IN Stadium....

Packing them in at the STADIUM OF SHITE!


Monday, 6 June 2011

Update from Guy

Hi Lads

Have decided to look around for my next contract.  Despite almost singlehandedly getting Torquay into League One I may move on for a bigger and better challenge.  We missed out in the final to Stevenage the other week, and I don't know if I need to go and see an optician, but I could have sworn I saw Beardo playing for the opposition!  Obviously I was mistaken!  Just imagine, Beardo playing in League One, whilst I'm without a club!  Ha Ha!

Anyway, I've put a link below to my stats page, just in case any Championship scouts pop on here to read this stuff.

Click onto my link - there's lots of good stuff about me!  By the way, how much longer d'you reckon I'll be able to get away with giving my age as 32!

I'll drop you a line when the bidding war has ended, and I know who I'm playing for next season.

Cheers for now.

Guy (32, ha ha - love it!)

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Democracy runs rampant at FIFA!

Here's to me!
Sepp Blagger was celebrating this morning winning his won fourth term as "Theifa" President.  Although the vote is not due until later today Sepp has reported that he has won 372 of the 208 association votes and secured 32 of the 22 delegate nods.

Declaring this a "Great day for democracy as well as my own bank account", Blagger personally acknowledged several countries for their unswerving loyalty.  He singled out Lilliput, Pimlico, Oceana and The Duchy of Grand Fenwick for special thanks.  He also suggested that Atlantis's lack of football pitches, or indeed land, would not necessarily count against them during the bidding process for 2026.