Friday 19 June 2009

Patgod Issue Five (Probably end of January 1990)


The use of caricatures to shine a gently-mocking light into otherwise darkened corners of seriousness is a long held and noble artform. From the day Neolithic man chuckled to himself as he chipped away at a carving of his missus with enormous boobs and a big, protruding, fat belly, through mockery of the Prince Regent with his enormous boobs and a big, protruding, fat belly, onto Spitting Image mocking Gazza with his enorm…. well, you get the idea.

Unfortunately none of the Poppies players of the early 1990’s were open to such easy lampooning. When you are trying to produce caricatures of almost identically healthy, active athletes (and Neil Horwood), ANY distinctive features need to be picked on and exaggerated.

In this cover shot from Issue 5 Robbie Cooke is clearly Robbie Cooke because of his curly hair and angry, skull-like visage. Andy Wright is clearly Andy Wright because he has a moustache. Glenn Beach is clearly Glenn Beach because Andy Wright refers to him as such. Glenn also conveniently refers to the show stopping volley he scored AGAINST us for Boston, which, let’s face it, got him a move here, and frankly was all he was memorable for.

Other Kettering players of the era could pop up in the fanzine as ink-stained versions of themselves. Ernie with his fringe and old mans face. Shoey with his stubble. Morris with his misery-guts gob (and the fact we could put his initials on his tracksuit!) After that it became trickier. There was Mark Nightingale with his, er, sensible side-parting. Neil Edwards with his, er, sensible side-parting. Dave Heywood with his, er, sensible…well, you get the idea.

Consequently some figures from this period live on in the form of amateurish little scribblings whilst their equally important peers have faded away to nothing. Serves them right for not wearing an eye patch or growing a mullet!

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