Should your spirits need lifting at this latest darkest hour for KTFC, breaking news from Australia.
After their spanking in the 2nd Test, Shane Warne is rumoured to be on the brink of a dramatic comeback. The selectors are looking for a nurse with access to free cheeseburgers to clinch the deal. If that fails they will turn to their reserve option, Richie Benaud - on current evidence the 2nd rated Aussie spinner.
The 2nd rated Western Samoan spinner would have fared better than the brilliant new Simpsons character Xavier D'oh!erty (face like Cletus, strike rate like Mr Burns) who fed England countless runs in the first two Tests.
When Cook and KP weren't smacking him around they were feasting on the seamers, who try as they might looked about as nasty as Christopher Biggins. Even the sledging was weak. Whereas McGrath could reduce a pom to bedwetting with a well aimed jibe, Johnson's best shot appeared to be "you... you... IN FORM BATSMAN you!"
Steve Waugh with his slitty eyes could carry off the gunslinger thing. This lot look like the schmucks who get dunked in the horse trough in the comedy saloon brawl.
But to their credit the selectors are refusing to panic.
Australian XII for the 3rd Test:
Shane Watson
Mad Max
Ricky Ponting (c)
Dame Edna Everage
Clive James
Don Bradman (deceased)
Kylie Minogue
Crocodile Dundee
Dannii Minogue (wk)
Red Back Spider
Skippy
Madge
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