PATGOD Issue Twelve - April 1991 - the parting of the ways

Satire so biting that these days
it would need to wear a muzzle.

April 1991 was the defining period for any current Poppies fan in their forties or older.  This was the season where we had all but won the title and promotion to the fabled Fourth Division.  And then....

To the outside observer our late season failure could be attributed to a combination of lack of players, fitness, luck, and tactics.  However, if you asked any of the 2000+ supporters who had watched the end of season points giveaway the blame lay fairly and squarely on our board of directors and their apparent desire to avoid promotion at all costs.  These self-titled models of financial prudence had fatally hamstrung our title charge just when all the other promotion contenders had made a final push for the Football League.

This wouldn't have been so bad if indeed the directors had actually been fiscally aware.  Within a couple of seasons their mishandling of the club's finances became apparent, along with their disregard of trifling issues such as paying the taxman.  This led to some hairy times with the very real possibility of closure, and, of course, our brush with a certain Mr English and Mr Talbot.

The end of the season also marked the end of the PATGOD triumvirate of Lorne, Peter and Gary, with Lorne standing down as editor.  Again, to the outside observer it may have looked as though Lorne might be making way for a fresh start with people closer to the action to carry on the bulk of the production, when in fact Pete and I pretty much instigated a coup d’état, looking to replace his brand of boyish optimism with our own brand of home-grown and nurtured pessimistic fatalism.

We felt bad about ousting Lorne then and even a little bit to this day, even though he took it all very well and continued to contribute a few pieces (which were rigorously checked to ensure they measured up to our newly created quota of miserable, sarcastic, right-on socialist leanings).  But, looking back, it was probably the right time to toughen up our act for the problems the Poppies were about to face.