- Access to the KTFC movers and shakers? Nope.
- Reserved seating? You're having a laugh!
- Complimentary matchday drinks? As if!
- Quick squint at a photocopied team sheet? I should co-co!
But then again, I doubt that, back in the day, Dennis was as well received and feted as Margaret.
However, being the "First Husband" has given me an early glimpse of some of the bits and pieces being dragged out of storage ahead of tomorrow's Memorabilia Exhibition. Some were familiar - the "Poppies FA Cup video compilation should be familiar - I bloody well made it, only to have it disappear into the Trust's vaults!
Other items were slightly less familiar, and all the more fascinating. Football League application brochure featuring a beaming, enormous jawed Ron Atkinson. Supporter club magazines from 40-odd years ago. Signed footballs with plenty of wriggle-room as to the actual identity of the names.
Framed photographs rescued from the walls of the Tin hat club, and sponsors lounge as we were being bundled out of Rockingham Road. I imagine that a lot of irreplaceable memorabilia was lost forever during Imraan's "Berlin-Bunker" period, and that landfills around the country were the final resting place for whole swathes of our club history.
Other, random items, somehow escaped the carnage. I thought I'd share this photograph I took as I thought it was odd, and rather touching that these two images survived - Phil Brown and Gareth Price, who seemed as inseparable as players as their photographs are today.
Both were bona-fide Poppies stars in the days where frail but talented players seemed to be all the rage at Rocky Road. Peter Morris and Graham Carr must have taken a peculiar pleasure in seeing their players get buffeted and knocked to the floor all game long by Northern hardmen!
As we all know, Gareth sadly died tragically young. Not sure what happened to Phil. But, if he's nowhere to be found I'd suggest the Authorities could do worse than start their search in Colin Reynolds's basement!