Thursday 29 November 2018

It used to be easy coming from Kettering Part Two

The men of Kettering have never had to measure up to much.  We just had to be brighter than men from Wellingborough, and more English than the men from Corby.  Neither were much of a problem.  We certainly didn't have to worry about other men from Kettering ever achieving anything in life of any consequence, so we never had to push ourselves.

Then the cracks started to appear in our united front of mediocrity. 

Successful Kettering Ginge
There are only twenty men in the country who can lay claim to be Managers at a Premier League Club.  Of those only SIX* are English!  Of those six, one of the buggers just happens to be a Kettering lad!!!  Not only has Sean Dyche overcome the obvious drawbacks of being both ginger and from Kettering, he even went to Henry Gotch FFS!.  This man just keeps overcoming seemingly insurmountable hurdles.  Thanks for making the rest of us look crap Sean.  Thanks a bundle.

If Sean was alone in achieving success despite coming from Kettering all might be OK.  But, no he's not alone anymore is he? 

Successful Kettering Non-Ginge
Kyren Wilson is one of the top snooker players in the world.  That's "The World".  Not just one of the best players at the Windmill or Spot On.  The F**king World!  Not content with chasing the balls around the baize like the rest of us, he actually uses the holes almost constantly.  Bastard.
Successful Kettering Ginge II

So, snooker's out, let's play darts instead.  Whoa...where the hell did Ricky Evans come from?  A professional darts player from Kettering?  How is this possible?  I assumed we only played "Round the Clock" in Kettering.  But, no.  Ricky really exists, looks a bit gingery and wins matches on the telly!  Madness.

It's not funny.  And, coincidentally, nor is James Acaster.  A third bloody ginge from NN16 who is making far too good a career as a stand-up comedian.  Considering his entire act is based on wearing beige and being from Kettering he really is doing far better than he ought! 

Successful Kettering Ginge III
Even though most sane people still cringe through his regular appearances on "Mock the "Week" there's no arguing with his impact.

Hopefully that's all for now, and once these guys fade into the background again we can all safely go back to being anonymous people from an anonymous place again.




*correct at the time of writing....












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