Some of you might remember Mr Beattie. I'm told he taught maths at the old Grammar School. He may well have. By the time he got around to teaching me he'd long lost any desire or love for imparting knowledge to eager young minds. He'd mutter under his breathe, headbutt the blackboard and keep himself entertained by throwing the blackboard rubber at any talking or sometimes just breathing student.
Along with seemingly every other teacher working from the Stamford Road site of Kettering Boys' School, Beattie had well and truly given up any pretence of earning his salary by the time the Grammar school had reverted to plain old Comprehensive. Even worse than him though were Mr Marriage and Mr Walner who "worked" out of the Boot and Shoe College on Thorngate Street. They were well and truly Kings of their own Fiefdoms who's antics and would have made Ofsted explode if anyone gave a damn about children back in the 1970's. I'm sure they had subjects they were qualified to teach but I have no recollection of what the were. Neither did they I suspect.
The above paragraphs are a round-about way of explaining how poor my mathematics are - sorry Mr Sunak....and why it has taken pretty much until Monday to figure out that all Poppies fans need to become Farsley supporters for 24 hours. After the mad last five minutes of Saturday's fixtures when Farsley and Blythe surrendered winning positions and Leamington lost in the 93rd minute, we got an incredible reprieve as we slithered to yet another easy away defeat.
Simply put, if Farsley beat Blythe in their re-arranged fixture, in order to overhaul our current total of 49 points Blyth will need to beat both Alfreton away AND Hereford at home. Leamington, to pip us to the last safety spot would need at least a win and a draw at Fylde away and Southport at home.
And those results would only catch our current total of 49 points. We still have 2 games too. Unfortunately they are to a team who simply don't lose - Chester, and Kidderminster at Aggborough armed with our fantastic away form.
The maths gets simpler still. If Farsley beat Blyth on Tuesday evening, and then on Saturday either we win or both Blyth and Leamington lose we are safe. Nice, simple maths.
Christ alone knows what it means if Blyth win though....thanks to Mr Beattie's excellent mathematical tuition I should be able to figure out the possibilities by late June, early July at the latest.
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| I'm hopeful of being able to count soon without mouthing the numbers as I do it.... |
Orienteering was Mr Beatties's true love that, and as you say, throwing board rubbers.
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