"It could have been us....."

I'm not sure which fact is the more outlandish.  That Luton Town and Kenilworth Road will be featuring on Match of the Day next season or that little old us, not that long ago, for a few seasons, were pretty much their local league rivals.  During our last (ever?) flirtation with the National League we came up against Luton who were finding getting back into the Football League infinitely harder than they imagined it would be.  I think the medical term is Wrexhamitis.

The first game between the much-reduced Hatters and the Ladak-funded Poppies was an early season 0-0 in August 2009 in front of over 3000 at Rockingham Road.  This result was bettered when we won the return game at Kenilworth Road in early December.  A Ritchie Partridge thunderbolt was the only goal of the game in front of over 6500, of which 6300 of the attendees gnashed their teeth for fully 90 minutes.  This was my first visit to Kenilworth Road and yes, if you've never been there, everything you've heard about the place is true.  A dog-rough ground in a dog-rough area of a dog-rough town.  Yes, you do clamber up a stairway that allows you to look into the neighbours gardens and bathroom windows.  And yes, the away end has the narrowest seating imaginable.  Anyone over 5' 6" has to watch the proceedings sitting side-saddle.

No, me neither...

In the 2010-2011 season Luton hit back at the Poppies by winning 3-1 at Rockingham Road in another early season fixture.  Luton were assisted by us having Ian Roper and Iysden Christie sent off (lessening the weight of the Poppies on-field team by roughly 50%).  Amazingly, the match-ball was claimed by future Poppies nobody Matthew Barnes-Homer who probably didn't notch three touches of the ball during his Poppies "career" let alone three goals.

The return fixture that season was the only game against Luton I wasn't present for.  Instead I had to rely on Radio Luton Town FC's completely unbiased and factually inaccurate commentary - I lost track of how many times we were referred to as "Kidderminster".  We threw on future England International Callum Wilson to try and grab us an equaliser late on, but that role was ably filled by Danny Mills with a last minute goal to secure a 2-2 draw.  Much to the complete disbelief and disgust of the radio commentators who couldn't accept the mighty Hatters had not beaten lowly Kidderminster.

I'd like to say that this is where our interactions with Luton came to a natural end.  A win each and a couple of draws.  Honour satisfied.  Unfortunately we faced off against the Hatters for one more season.  A season I think we'd all rather forget.  The one that started with a new stadium and signing players from Real Madrid (!) and ended with the club almost being wound-up and George Rolls trying to get his slippery paws on the levers of power.  

By this time the league had decided that the Poppies and the Hatters were pretty much local rivals and assigned us the Boxing Day / New Years Day honours.  By the time the Christmas period rolled around Imraan had forgone any pretence at being interested in his football club and a team with a pair of barely interested Ifil's, a punch-drunk Jamie Navarro and a couple of substitutes lost 5-0 in a game where Laurie Walker was our MOM by a country mile.  Without him God alone knows what the final score might have been.  10-0?  15-0?  He seemed to personally prevent future Poppy Aaron O'Connor scoring a dozen on his own.  

The return match a week later saw our Heroes manage to lose by the same score.  This time though Jerel Ifil was nowhere to be seen and Phil Ifil couldn't even be bothered to stay on the pitch for half the match, shrugging his way to another red card.  The only winner that day, Luton obviously excepted, was Imraan.  I doubt very much if any of the £20 entrance fees the 1500 (2000?) Luton supporters coughed up made it into authorised KTFC coffers.....

And there you have it.  Not many seasons later and while we are girding our loins for the upcoming visits of Barwell, St Ives and Redditch (jeez....not again), Luton are busy preparing themselves to receive the cream of the Premier League.  And Tottenham.