Grey Army! Grey Army! Grey Army!

We are constantly being told that us oldsters are becoming ever too numerous and act solely as a drain on society.  We're working longer, keeping young people out of good jobs.  We live too long and eat all the social care budget.  We get too much handed to us free of charge by successive Governments who need to attract the grey vote.

And a good thing too.  Young people are crap at working, they don't particularly need the NHS (except when falling drunk in the street on Saturday night because they also can't handle their ale) and Governments HAVE to appeal to us as young people are too apathetic to trouble voting booths.

And now, we're coming for your sports too!

Historically, sport has been annoyingly dominated by the young, slim and fit.  But, not anymore!  The door has opened a crack and we're going to waddle through and steal this from the young 'uns too!

That's right, the world of sport has finally realised the only people who can truly afford to shell out for all the required equipment are those people no longer physically able to actually play.  The answer?  Adapt the sport to better suit those with the time and funds to get involved.  

Thus Walking Sport was born.

Given how many old gits who KNOW EVERYTHING about football we have at Latimer Park we should be able to attract hundreds of players to these new sessions being held at the club.

Well, your correspondent attended the first session and can report it was good fun.  I sweated my absolute chubby ass off.  I had a laugh with the other guys who were also sweating as much as 1970 Top of the Pops hosts when they received a call from Operation Yewtree.  We kicked a ball about and tried not to break into a stumbling stutter which passes for running when you're staring down the barrel of 60! 

Sure, the next day every muscle in my body teetered on the edge of cramping.  And I have a pain on the outside of my right foot that has made me hobble for a week and swear at the cat.  But I'm going back, no doubt to be one of a dozen people offering to go in goal this week!  

So, if you're over 50, and have the most rudimentary footballing ability (sorry, John Fowler) pop along and see what you've been missing since you last had a full head of hair!