The importance of tonight's match-up cannot possibly be overstated. A match between the forces of light and the forces of shite. Apparently there's a football game this evening between Kettering and Sudbury, but I'm talking about the clash between the two Tory MP's representing both towns.
On the right, in the blue corner is James Cartlidge. He has been Sudbury's MP since 2015, during which time has has served as the Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Justice, Exchequer Secretary for the Treasury, and Minister of State for Defence Procurement. The bugger is still not even 50 years old.
On the even further right and in the even bluer corner is local boy Phillip Hollobone who, despite being in the Commons twice as long as James has never come close to holding any official office. Even Peter Bone was briefly given a job as the Deputy Leader of the House of Commons FFS! When you consider how many PM's he has served under, and the absolute shit-show of changes in personnel under them, it takes a special kind of dim-wittedness to somehow be passed over for so long, by so many.
However, he DOES own a rather old union jack coat that, no doubt, he'll be wearing about the town when the General Election comes, when he'll be trying to blame all societies ills on everyone and everything but himself and his party despite being in power for the past decade and a half.
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James Cartlidge - Justifiably Smug we keep electing him |
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