But, what if we HADN'T invented Shirt Sponsorship?

By now you can't have failed to see the new slick promo video the club has released highlighting the 50th anniversary of the Doog-era "Kettering Tyres" shirt - available from reputable outlets the length and breadth of Latimer Park.  In the comforting glow of watching the smooth camera moves, soft-focus loveliness and Dave Singh looking for all the world like a sub-continent George Clooney, few question whether the origin of yet another footballing money-making enterprise is really something to celebrate.  

I've never heard an opposition fan brag about the fact their club was the first to charge an entrance fee.  Nor have I read of a club giving equal veneration to hosting the first pitch-side advertising hoarding, but someone, somewhere came up with it.   In our case I suppose we hark back to it as it is one of our few claims to footballing fame.  We all love the Poppies, but let's be honest, other than our lengthy, often painful and hard fought continued existence, shirt sponsorship and wishing hard for an early Spurs exit from the FA Cup is pretty much what defines us.

The Doog really was ahead of his time with shirt sponsorship, but in the following half century there must have been hundreds if not thousands of fabulously designed football shirts ruined by jarringly inappropriately coloured ejaculate across the chest.  And I've never quite understood why the shirt sponsor is so slavishly copied onto the supporter replica version.  It's not as if a company logo stretched over the taut paunches of us gurgling half and quarter-wits will enhance the reputation of the sponsor.  At least this season's main kit sponsors at the Poppies are all local firms, so they had at least an idea of the girth and relative glamour of the walking adverts for their companies.  

But why are fans never given the option of opting out of being a shambling billboard?  Any other time you might find yourself carrying around an advert for a company you would rightly be expecting some sort of renumeration?  But not with shirt sponsorship.  We pay through the nose to unwittingly sign-up to whoever the Club gets into bed with for the next year.  It doesn't matter if they have questionable business practices, are run by toxic owners or are content to encourage dangerous levels of gambling (When the fun stops.....yeah, that'll work) we are stuck with them for good or ill.  

And while I'm on a roll, who or what the hell were "Coinweb?"  For 12 months we all blithely walked around with their logo front and centre without a clue who we were tacitly supporting.  They could have been a worthy charity busy alleviating famine, immunising against disease or tackling childhood mortality.  Equally they could have been a gun-running, Southern American Narco outfit, or worse, a firm allied to Nigel Farage.  Who knows?  Not us, that's for sure.

Dave Singh relaxes between takes
getting in the mood for his next cruise