We Hate [insert name here]

Amid all the hullabaloo of events this summer, something very important has been overlooked:

With Rushden & Diamonds no more, who exactly are we supposed to detest?

We need a substitute local rival and the lines are now open.

The nominations are:

Corby Town – gain points for having intensely dislikable fans, who persist in regarding themselves as the modern heirs to Bonnie Prince Charlie’s invading army on their occasional trips south, despite having also failed to trouble us in a serious competitive fixture since about 1745. Lose points because, such games apart, they call 250 a crowd and to give them rival status would likely prompt Corby Council to build them yet another new ground.

AFC Inbreds – nil points. Difficult, even for us, to extract much satisfaction from the struggles of an under 18s village side who are not due to kick a ball in anger for another 12 months.

Rothwell Town – see comments re Corby, but minus 200 fans and the permanent chip on both shoulders. Irrelevant.

Cambridge United – nearest geographically in our division but not enough recent history between us to create more than pretend enmity. Give it another 10 years and who knows. There are more reasons to dislike Histon – actually a lot more come to think of it.

Rushden & Higham United – would be serious contenders if, say, a local footwear tycoon were to waste millions on attempting to lift a nondescript backwater East Northants club from the lower reaches of part time football into the Football League. A ridiculous concept. Otherwise, completely off the radar. Even with the temptingly rude potential of the nickname ‘The Lankies’.

Wellingborough Town – if ever things reach the point where this is a serious proposition, god help us.

Sporting Gijon – a surprise nomination and unlikely to catch on, but we just love the name (go on, say it – HEE-HON).

Northampton Town – the bookies favourites. Until the rise of R&D, the focus of glee whenever struggling, which was quite often. Could have developed into the genuine article but for a couple of league placings in the early 90s. Since the introduction of two relegation slots, on borrowed time and pencilled in for derby fixtures the season after next.