Saturday 6 August 2011

Welcome to Irthlingborough

Now that we are giving up the lazy backwater of Kettering for the bright lights of Irthlingborough PATGOD presents a guide to our new home.

The entire population of the town would fit almost exactly into Non Park, and, if Imraan gets his way, soon will!

98 years after the defeat of Napoleon at Waterloo, the film "The Battle of Waterloo" was filmed in Irthlingborough.  A further 98 years later another army of occupation, the Poppies army, will be descending upon the town. 

Despite reports to the contrary, NO WITCHES have been burned in Irthlingborough in the past twelve months.  These days ASBO's are the usual punishment handed out for the utilisation of ungodly powers.

However, the TROLLS who live under the bridge separating Irthlingborough from Rushden, DO EXIST.  They may or may not be former Direones fans who have never quite slunk all the way back to Rushden, but one of them does answer to the name "DeBanker", and another grunts in response to "Pigman".


Mensch - at least a couple of advantages over Hollobone
We can't very well appeal to our own lily-livered local councillors in Kettering anymore (not that they were any f**king use anyway).  However, the local councillors covering Non Park, and awaiting our moans and groans, are fascist bully boy party Tory Marika Hillson, and spendthrift commie party Labour's Bob Nightingale.

We've also lost pointless, borderline-racist Tory backbencher Hollobone, in favour of pointless, borderline-racist backbencher, with norks, Mensch/Bagshawe.  Curiously she will be compelled to represent the interests of both Corby Town AND the Poppies in the future, or at least until the next General Election.  Wonder who will get the  most support?



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