Poppies face "Perfect Storm"

As with the characters in the 2000 film, "Perfect Storm", starring pretty-faced George Clooney, and potato-faced Mark Wahlberg, the Poppies could tonight be facing an equally destructive coming together of negative forces.  In the film, a combination of swells, storm fronts and various other meteorological shenanigans conspired to engulf the intrepid, if facially mis-matched fisherman, and send them down to Davy's Jones's locker.  Apologies for ruining the ending of the film, but, hey, it's been out almost a dozen years now.  If you were going to see it, you would have done so by now!

In our case, the "Perfect Storm" has nothing to do with water (phew, the Nene won't engulf us all.  Well, at least not tonight).  Our "PS" has a combination of factors from a far wider spectrum.

Number One - We're having to travel to Non Park

Regardless of the pros and cons about squatting at Non Park, it is still a distance to travel to watch a supposed home game.  And remember, we are still talking about Kettering fans, who still like to pop their heads out of the front door at 7.25PM to see if it's raining, and see if they fancy popping out.

Number Two - A Tuesday Night Fixture!

Whether it's due to travelling midweek, being scared of the dark or simply not wanting to put themselves through watching the Poppies twice in quick succession, Tuesday night attendances are always noticeably down on Saturday attendances.

Number Three - It's Hayes & Yeading!

Arguably, along with Frickley Athletic and Borehamwood, H&Y are the most anonymous, nothing team to have existed.  They have the marquee value of brussel sprouts.  Their own supporters voted them the 5th most pointless team in the history of football.

Number Four - It's Champion's League Night!

Everyone's favourite Champion's League Final Losers, Man Ure are playing a pointless early round robin game in the latest big stakes gambling forum for Russian Oligarchs, Mad Arabs and other assorted mega-rich gangster types.  For some unfathomable reason, the average Sky punter can't get enough of this sort of guff, and it always affects our gates.  Add to this, we now have a second Manchester club, obscenely bloated with dodgy money, playing on the same night, and the armchair footie fan can positively drown himself in a pool of expensive pointlessness.

Number Five - No Trust Bus

It may not dent the crowd much, but the inability to drag over from Kettering the real ale, Alexandra Arms brigade will certainly hit bar takings.

Number Six - the Infamous Burton Fire

The endless damping-down of the suspicious fire in Burton has led to the closure of the A6.  Given the fact that no right minded inhabitant of our fair town should have any idea of how to get to Non Park any other way, this means we could ALL miss the game!  I'm sure there are other byways, footpaths and dirt tracks in East Northants that can funnel us all through their bumpkin patch to the ground, but it does seem like awfully hard work doesn't it?

"The Nene can get mighty rough...."