Bloody Cockneys, stealing OUR Jobs!

The world seems to be aghast that some PRETEND dozy mare is moving from PRETEND Walford to Kettering (but obviously, NOT REALLY, IT'S A F*CKING TV PROGRAMME!)

Who are yer?

Sonia is waxing lyrical about a dream job in in our fair town, dropping the "K-Bomb" every thirty seconds or so.  To universal derision.  But, Kettering - why?

Why not?  Kettering has far lower rates of murder, attempted murder, rape, battery, GBH, ABH, arson, teenage pregnancy, gangland kneecapping, dropped 'aitches, and re-casting of parts than any area of East London, real or fake.

So what if Sonia wants to follow here dream of a better life in Northamptonshire?  Good on her, I say.

Mind you, she should be made aware that Kettering is in the real world unlike Walford.  A London Borough where anyone can own and run a £450,00 3-bed house, based on a couple of afternoons selling fruit and veg on the market and covering the odd shift at the cafe.  This also includes, "going up West" five times a week and then disappearing to Spain for a fortnight's holiday every few months.  She'd be lucky to wangle the occasional weekend at Skeggy when she lands in Kettering!

And, does Sonia know that her little brother, Craig Hill has left the Poppies, meaning she can't bunk down with him now?

DUM,
DUM,
DUM-DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM-DUM!!!

"Coming.... 

......and going!"