Two emails David Mahoney really should get around to sending

David Mahoney to 
Committee of the Southern League

"Hi Darlings

I know we have registered red and black as our home strip this season, with a change strip of white, BUT, what are the chances we could change our home kit very slightly from red and black, to, er, blue, with white stripes?  Just for this season.  I appreciate this might cause the odd problemette or two,  but what do you think?

And, if it's not too much of an ask, could we nominate our away kit to be white, with blue stripes?

Let me know?  It would be much appreciated.  And sooner rather than later as our kits are getting a bit ripe......

Love to all,

Dave."




David Mahoney to
Captain Wang of the Orient Shipping Line

"Captain Slow

Christ alone knows what you're up to!  What are you doing with your ship?  F*cking rowing it? However, do us all a favour and continue to take the f*cking scenic route.  And if you are in danger of losing a container or two during a storm, don't worry if shipping container ACR15654 - 566A looks like being swept away.

In fact, even if you don't encounter a storm and that particular container looks like slipping overboard, please don't risk yourself or your men....

Dave"

"Hi Ritchie

I don't know what your problem was.  

This Chairman lark is a doddle!

Dave"

And, maybe a third email?

David Mahoney to
Ritchie Juene