Please God Not Another Telford

Anyone who recalls our previous, paper incarnation will perhaps recall the phrase "Telford Day" which we coined to describe the perfect storm of a large home crowd, a significant match and a thorough gumping by a visiting team with nothing to play for. So called because of a grisly occasion back in April 1991 when Telford (in their previous, United incarnation) rolled up to Rockingham Road, yawned and stuck five past us.

However a very different sort of Telford Day (an AFC Telford day?) unfolded last season when the emotional high of an FA Cup battle against the big boys was very closely followed by the crashing low of going out of the Trophy with barely a whimper .

Tomorrow, worringly, it's all looking too familiar. Throw in the extra ingredients of a manager who's still to confirm whether he can resolve his differences with the chairman, and a bunch of players who are either (a) disenchanted (b) borrowed or (c) probably still knackered from Tuesday, and it doesn't bode too well for a Trophy run extending much beyond 5pm Saturday.

It certainly wouldn't be the first time we've exited two cups in the space of a week. We may even have done three once, if you count the Bob Lord Trophy.

But come on guys let's be positive. We're playing Barrow, so if we get past the first 4 seconds it could be our day. And Jason Lee is still banned from coming within 10 miles of Rockingham Road.

Never a Dull Moment Part Two

Imraan and Deehan

I don't suppose we'll ever really know what happened in those minutes after the game. I'm not sure even those involved can entirely and accurately remember the exact order of events, and what precisely was said.

Having listened to both of Imraan's radio interviews, as well as John Deehan's and Lee Fowler's ones I was struck by how genuine they all sounded. None of them said anything which screamed out, "I am lying, but I hope that no-one notices!" Of course, each of them painted themselves as the injured party, but I reckon each of them is telling the truth as they remember it. Nevertheless it makes our Club look like amateur-hour again.

So, where does all this leave us?

Deehan, if he was ever actually employed by the club has gone. Imraan's talent for self-destructive publicity continues. Hopefully Lee Harper will remain as Manager, if he can reach an understanding with his mercurial Chairman. Also hopefully, Lee Fowler does the decent thing and asks for his contract to be terminated. This would leave him available to another club, and rid us of a player who doesn't want to be here, but is content to continue to collect his wages.

Never a Dull Moment Part One

The Leeds Games

Great effort from everyone involved - The bottom line is that although we lost in the end, Leeds United couldn't defeat us over two 90 minute games. Leeds supporters don't come out of the games well either. Their much trumpeted vocal support, was sporadic at best and strangely seemed to coincide with their goals.

The fact that less than 9000 of them turned up highlights the difference between their supporters' perception of the Club and the truth. Regardless of who they were playing, surely a Leeds fan would come along and support Leeds? Never mind, I'm sure all their legions of stay-at-home diehards will be bombarding their ticket office for the opportunity to watch their team get annihilated by a genuinely big club.

Those last 15 minutes of extra time were just too much for us. I blame myself, and others like me, who were just starting to think about who in our team might be good at penalties...!

In the end, our legs and luck gave out at about the same time, but we exit the FA Cup with our heads held high. At least until the post match post mortem began....

The Bookies consider this the final score, and we're not about to argue!

Ladak: If Only

If only our chairman had acted sooner to avoid the embarrassment we suffered at Elland Road last night.

If only he'd delivered the team talk, advising the players precisely how to negate the threat posed by Leeds, instead of allowing them to defend like a disorganised rabble and ship one goal in 105 minutes.

If only he'd pulled on his boots and lead the attack, instead of allowing our clueless management duo to persevere with the inadequate Elding, who blew 50% of the chances that came his way.

If only he'd had the courage of his convictions and used our substitutes to maximum effect, playing five across the back, six in the middle and three up front.

If only he'd listened to his head and not his heart and ditched that aging crock Harper, who contented himself merely with keeping the score down, rather than doubling as a sweeper and fulfilling a holding midfield role.

We wouldn't be in the mess we are now.

Good old Shorty - flying the flag for PATGOD!

I always smile when Peter Short is wheeled on by Radio Northampton to comment on whatever forthcoming event the Poppies are about to encounter. Not that Shorty doesn't do well - he does. He does far better than most of us would do. He speaks clearly, is amusing and holds up his end of the conversation. And that's not always easy when talking to Joe (Wannabe-Shock-Jock) Pignatiello, whose idea of broadcasting is to immediately take the opposite viewpoint of anyone he talks to. Regardless of the subject. It doesn't matter if the conversation is about a forthcoming nuclear Armageddon, or judging cakes at a WI event, if you have one point of view, you can bet your life he will be in the opposite corner.

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Talking on the radio is a different to talking to each other. Firstly, you've got to remember not to swear, not even when mentioning the Direones, and this takes more skill than I could muster. You've also got to remember not to go "um" between every word you speak and not to say, "Y'know?" at the end of every sentence. And as much as you try not to do it, it is almost impossible not to lapse into "football-speak". Suddenly you are asked to express your delight at a big win, and no matter how frantically you scrape the inside of your brain for a clever or amusing response, all your grey matter can conjure up is, "OVER THE MOON", which dribbles embarrassingly out from between your gritted teeth. It's enough to make you feel as sick as a parrot.

Anyway, back to Shorty who must cringe when he is introduced by the DJ as the Kettering's fanzine editor. Thankfully the DJ never follows this up with a potentially tricky question like, "when's the next fanzine due out?" How long is a piece of string?

We at the online version know from painful experience that producing a printed publication from scratch can be hellish.

• Deadlines.
• Production of articles.
• Making the wording fit the pages.
• Non-existent letters page.
• News and stories that can be months out of date by the time people see it.
• Paying the printer.
• Selling the bloody thing.
• Explaining what a fanzine actually is, and patiently pointing out for the millionth time that it is NOT the programme.

A long list of painful problems. Why do you think PW and myself stopped doing it years ago? It really is more trouble than it's worth, particularly when there is an online alternative.

Nowadays we are laughing! Deadlines? What deadlines? We can type what we like, when we like. The guy who prints the fanzine will have to fund his next BMW from some other sucker! And we no longer have to carefully edit to ensure the articles fit the available area. We can type as much or as little as we want. We can end a piece when we feel like it. Just like this in fact.

Was it something we said?

Never doubt the power of PATGOD!!!

http://patgodonline.blogspot.com/2009/11/trouble-at-top.html

Half of the strikers on this list from barely a fortnight ago have now been deemed surpus to requirements....

Waiting

So, has Imraan accepted the Council's offer for private talks? Or is he still holding out for a public debate? I truly hope it is the former. As much as we all like the idea of a big, open, public debate with the club and council on the top table, it would clearly turn into a noisy slanging match. Much better to have the public meeting when the club and council have yanked the irons out of the fire and reached a mutually beneficial settlement. Yes, we'll call one of the stands, the "Hakewell Stand" if that's what it takes. They can call the two terraces the Hitler and Stalin terraces for all I care, and I'd gladly book a table in the Pol Pot Lounge for my pre-match meal if it means we have somewhere to play.

I fervently hope that more is going on behind the scenes than is obvious to the outside observer. At the moment we are a club in limbo. A draw against Leeds, a win away at Luton, and a forthcoming replay at Elland Road, with Manchester United waiting in the wings, and what happens? We lose again at home to a moderate Salisbury, with barely more than a thousand people in the ground. We should be revelling in our unprecedented success! Dave Tailby should be running around 'Arborough with his willy hanging out!

This is something I never understand about the Poppies. A couple of thousand extra people turn up for the Leeds game, and somehow we fail to hang onto any of them the following Saturday. Why is this?

Are we the only team that never seems to build on its hardcore support in any meaningful way? Is it down to the pricing structure? The ticketing arrangements? The complete lack of certainty over our future? Or, more likely, a mixture of all of the above?

Imraan, do us all a favour and talk to the council, and make it soon!