Don't Panic! (Part One for 2016-17)

Sure we lost badly to a bunch of former Poppies who aren't up to Southern League Premier League level.

We were outplayed by a bunch of heavy lower-league players.

We created very little, and looked like conceding every time the ball got anywhere near our penalty area.

The new season is just a week away and were shipping goals every time we play any team that are slightly above park-kick-around level.

But don't panic!  I've managed to cross off an item from my bucket-list.

I've still to fly a home-made glider from the top of Niagara, or ride a Unicorn over the Alps, but I've now managed to see David Kolodnski put in a solid 90 minutes of effort, without resorting to just moaning, goal-hanging and missing sitters.

Happy days!

Wow - is that sweat?

The Fixtures are out! Woo Hoo!

We can now bask in the full glow of this coming season's fixtures.  It may be difficult, under the baking mid-July sun, to ponder a rain-effected early 2017, but ponder it we must.

Hopefully the work carried out on the Latimer Park pitch will help us actually play some home fixtures during the Winter, but, just in case it is "business as usual" in Burton, please see below our amended fixture list.

The Poppies, so often at the forefront of developments
in football have, in recent years, instigated a one-team mid-winter break

Can this week get any more depressing?

Last weekend

We left the EU thanks to a combination of political lies (well, obviously not ALL the £350 million will go to the NHS.....) and pent-up, genteel racism.

This week

The national football team meekly surrendered to a country that hadn't seen grass until a fortnight ago.

This weekend

I turn 50.

Can anyone match this?  Would they want to?

Woy's Viking Funeral

Hard as it is to swallow, we fell just short of Euro glory. Two weeks and three rounds short, but let’s not dwell on that.  There were many positives to come out of this campaign:

·        Leo the England lion enjoyed his many photo opportunities and is now attracting interest from numerous charity shops.

·        Joe Hart clearly knows all the words to the national anthem.  I haven’t seen such a lung bursting delivery since that Italian tenor at the Walkers.

·         Ray Lewington had a lovely boat trip in Paris with Roy. It was Ray’s first visit to the French capital, so understandably this took precedence over a scouting trip to watch our next opponents.

·        Harry Kane is clearly getting his eye in.  By the end of last night’s game, he was only missing the target by 10 yards.

·       In the pressure cooker atmosphere of international football, Roy was able to compose a lengthy resignation statement within minutes of the final whistle.

Now we have to put away our England flags and beanie hats for another 2 (possibly 4, maybe 6 to 10) years and get behind someone else. Many will plump for Wales but I prefer Iceland.  Tenacious, fearless, well organised and incisive. Just four of the minor adjustments that it would be nice to see in future England displays.

 

Roy and Ray's next boat trip 

I don't pay my Council Tax for this......

I'd be bloody annoyed if the bill for this work ended anywhere other than on the "Welcome" Mat at Ben Pickering Ltd!

Council clear Rocky Road trees

Euro Update

I’d just like to clarify something I said earlier. By stating that England were not about to blow a really easy potential draw, I meant of course that England were about to blow a really easy potential draw. 

Now, while Wales face a winnable looking tie against possibly Albania or failing that Gibraltar, our path to the final is looking a little more challenging. Get past the Group F runners up and we are likely to face France, followed by Germany. Which will make it all the more satisfying!

 

Thankfully at Patgod we prepare for every eventuality, so here’s our handy guide to England’s next opponents.  Whoever they are.

Portugal – easy, all we have to do is stop Ronaldo. Stealing the dressing room mirror should do it.

Hungary – bit useful once, but not since colour television was invented. Glad to have got this far. Providing we don’t rest 8 players this time, we should be ok.

Austria – mini me Germany. Vardy v Fuchs?  Just imagine the headlines if we f-  er I mean mess up.

Iceland – a nation the size of Coventry, but being a grey lump of volcanic rock, with slightly better scenery. Likely to play out of their skins to prolong not having to return to Iceland. But avoid complacency and we’ll be fine.  So it’s touch and go then.   

See you in the quarters!

Sign and be Damned!

It probably won't do much good, except to show our beloved Councillors we still exist, but it would be nice to shove a few thousand signatures down the throats of people who wield power based on securing barely a few hundred votes.

Kettering Council - stop f*cking our town over!