With the start of the new season less than a week away, and our expensively assembled 7-man defence due to keep a clean sheet any month now, we thought we'd launch our new "Match Preview" section of PATGOD. The intention is to run this item prior to each game, but we'll see if we still fancy it when December comes and it's a long away trip....
However, don't expect too much in the way of facts, figures and football statistics, not, given our reputation for in-depth analysis, that you probably were. No, the PATGOD Fascinating Facts will lean less towards games played, games won, blah, blah, and more towards stuff like this -
Gateshead was the famous location in Get Carter where after telling Corrie's Alf Roberts that he was out of shape, Michael Caine went on to bully him some more by throwing him off the multi-storey car park. We're not quite sure what shape Alf would have needed to be in to survive the fall, but feel sure that he didn't quite measure up.
Alf went on to have a long career as a moaning shop-keeper on the Street, whilst Michael Caine went on to scrape the bottom of the barrel in some real cinematic stinkers prior to winning an Oscar and being hailed as one of our best unblinking, screen cockneys. Nowadays he divides his time between acting in L.A. and complaining in London that he has to pay taxes like the rest of us chumps.
One time Poppies manager (almost literally) Paul Gascoigne hails from Gateshead. Once the best player of his generation, these days he offers sympathy, a blanket and a half a can of Tennants Extra Strength lager to wanted murderers immediately before they eat a shotgun. Apparently his team talks used to have a similar effect.
Gateshead also benefits greatly from not being Newcastle.
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