Us average Joe football fans may not be able to grasp the full complexities of running a football club. Concepts such as player contracts, loan deals, league registration and appropriate bung levels are probably all well beyond our grasp.
But we'd like to think that the task of ordering football kits is one we could take a reasonable stab at. Click online, choose colour and style, choose quantity, and hit "enter". Why then is this one area the Poppies cannot seem to get right? As far as we can tell, on the day the new season starts, neither players or supporters have seen hide nor hair of our new kits!
Surely the boat carrying these precious garments all the way from China's finest sweatshop hasn't got caught in a typhoon again? How unlucky would that be! Perhaps next year we shouldn't wait until July, and of course the typhoon season in the South China Seas to actually order our kits.
As much as we mock the Direones (and enjoy doing so), they were playing in their new Argie-bargie kit at the end of last season! OK, the kit disgraces decent society and God. It is also, obviously, an affront to the memory of those who served in the South Atlantic almost 30-years ago. But at least the average inbred has the opportunity to spend the money he raises from scarecrow duty on acquiring said garment. He can proudly wear it while cosying up to his sister, and his club get to bank the profit. Fair play to the web-fingered freaks.
In the meantime, what are the Poppies doing? Hoping the kits arrive before the first home game on Tuesday? Desperately hoping they will be able to iron the names to the back of the shirts early enough so the players don't suffer 2nd degree burns? Will we have to pick players based on the shortness of their surnames?
Why do we keeping shooting ourselves in the foot like this? Do we enjoy looking a bit "Mickey Mouse?"
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