24 Years of Pain

It’s been a week for ending sporting hoodoos. First our 12 year jinx against the Inbreds then the 24 years since we beat the Convicts in a series down under. As an indicator of how long ago that was, Kettering Town competed on level terms against the likes of Frickley Athletic, and here’s how we lined up in the first game after we last sealed a series victory in Oz:

Harrison, Tillson, Mann, Caverner, Lewis, Wood, Wharton, Richardson, Crawley, Keast, Jeffrey.

The fact that two of that team are no longer alive adds to the sense of another era.
It’s actually a rather better line up than the result (0-2 v Wealdstone) suggests.

However little did we know it then but it would be nearly a quarter of a century before a Poppies team would trot out safe in the knowledge that the koala fondlers had been humbled in their own back yard. In the intervening years, we won two league titles, got to the Cup fourth round twice and went back to Wembley. Plus kept Gazza out of the courts for 39 days. England’s achievements pale by comparison as we shall see:

1990/91 – Poppies see in the New Year 10 points clear at the top of the table. Meanwhile England are surrendering despite David Gower’s heroic efforts to decapitate the Aussies in a low flying Tiger Moth.

1994/95 – Six foot two eyes of blue Carl Alford bestrides the Conference scoring charts as KTFC home in on 6th place. Meanwhile Mike Atherton declares with Hick on 98 and the resulting sulk sets a new Test record.

1998/99 – Morris’s boys beat Hereford to cement their place at the top. Meanwhile England again lose the Ashes in 11 days, which is less time than it takes to grow a slightly fuzzy, unconvincing moustache.

2002/03 – In sympathy with his cricketing counterpart, Carl Shutt allows the opposition to bat first and set a decent target. You know, 50 points or so. Meanwhile Nasser Hussain puts them in at Brisbane and before you know it another series has gone.

2006/07 – It’s neck and neck at the top of the Conf North as Morrell Maison’s entertainers battle with the mighty Droylsden. Meanwhile Fat Freddie Flintoff’s XI never recover from Harmison’s first ball going for six wides and lose 6-0. Even though it’s a five match series.