"And Another One Gone, Another One Gone...."

As our cost cutting exercise continues and Christie has been moved out to Nuneaton Town it struck me that this meant we'd hear no more renditions of, "He used to be shite, but now he's alright..."  - possibly one of the crueler songs aimed at one of our own.

Was he previously "shite"?  I thought he did OK for us the first time around.  Mind you, back then when Imraan was throwing the cash around, and Christie was surrounded by the likes of JP, Westcarr, Beardsley, and Seddon, we probably assumed we would replace him with another highly-paid star.  Unlike today when he would be lining up with whoever we could prise from UCL obscurity.

The last we'll see of the tighest
pair of shorts in football - until
he comes back for his next spell!

Christie himself didn't think he'd been "shite".  Whilst being interviewed on the radio straight after the Diamonds win (still pleasant to type!) Christie was asked his reaction to his new song.  In a "little-boy-lost" voice he answered, "...I thought I did OK back then.  I scored some goals....".  Presumably moments later he started crying and hugging his comfort blanket. 

This incident made me think of the number of times we supporters have thought up hurtful songs about our players.

I mean, do we have any actual physical evidence that JP smokes marijuana?  Sure, he sometimes floats around the pitch in a bit of a daze, but I can't recall him ever crashing into Snappy-Snaps, or getting an attack of the munchies during a match.

Likewise, was Dougie Keast actually a "thug"?  Sure, he put himself about in our late 80's / early 90's midfield, but I suspect the epithet of thug was used simply because it rhymed with Doug....  His song could just as easily have been, "Keast, Keast - Keast the beast", although, it would hardly have been an improvement!

We know that Johnny Dempster is a red.  For better or worse, Craw£ey play in the same colour as us.  But do we know for certain that he "hates Diamonds" or does he perhaps have a soft spot for a club that gave him his break into football?  I know which answer I hope is right, but can we ever be sure?

Not all songs are abusive in nature.  In the early 90's the Poppies faithful strove to be as helpful as possible to the away supporter or the neutral in the crowd when identifying our players.  Our strike force of Alford and Arnold each had a highly descriptive chant.  Alford's declared that he was, "six foot two, eyes of blue", (the most beautiful shade of blue, just like drowning in a warm ocean....ahem) whilst his partner was helpfully described as, "Ian, Ian, Ian, Ian Arnold with no hair". 

Even the most casual observer would have been able to tell which player was which from these descriptions.  Lest us forget, there were no names on the backs of shirts back then!