FIFA - you gotta love 'em!

To stop you having to wade through all the nonsense surrounding FIFA and their incredibly bent goings on, we've prepared a short, handy guide to the organisation Football Is Financially Agreeable.  We aim to counter the perception that they act like a bunch of third world tribal warlords, always looking to feather their nests.

Or at least we would have if any of the FIFA committee members would have answered any of our questions.

FIFA - responsible, self-appointed
custodians of the beautiful game.

We asked Sepp Blagger about the 14,567 charges of corruption aimed at members of his Executive Committee.  He offered to answer our questions if we paid $1,000,000 into his private Swiss account, to pay towards some sort of soccer academy he may be setting up for disadvantaged children in some country somewhere.

Undeterred, we tried Ethics spokesman Mohammed Bung Hammam.  He was also happy to answer any question, if we paid $1,000,000 into his private Monaco account, to pay towards some sort of soccer academy he may be setting up for disadvantaged children in some country somewhere.

Finally we tried to speak to West Indian representative Jack Daddy Warbucks about charges of corruption and he asked us which country we represented, and which World Cup we wanted to host.  He then invited us to contribute $1,000,000 to his private Seychelles account, to pay towards some sort of soccer academy he may be setting up for disadvantaged children in some country somewhere.

Annoyed by all this rampant corruption we contacted the FIFA Press Office.  After giving them our credit card details they confirmed that several committee members were under unfounded investigation.  To counter the negative perception of their pointless organisation they were drafting in some more members, who's integrity and honesty are all beyond question - Jeffrey Archer, Joseph Goebbles, Attila the Hun and Jim Hakewell.