Thursday, 18 July 2013

Desert country Qatar in HOT shock!

Barely a year after awarding a Football World Cup to a despotic Arab state that takes an equally dim view of alcohol, homosexuality and liberty (their Friday nights must be pretty dull), Sepp Blatter has now conceded that Qatar's summer temperatures of up to 50 degrees centigrade may be a touch high for top level sport.  Or moving.  Or breathing.  Or doing anything but find yourself melting into a small puddle of fatty oil.

Blatter - no caption needed
This startling and sudden revelation has led Blatter to suggest that all the European leagues change their schedules to allow the feudal despots (the Qataries, and not FIFA in this instance) to run the tournament during the winter, when football can safely be played without half the participants dying.

That's one suggestion. Screw up the fixtures of all the major world leagues.  How about another?

Perhaps award the World Cup to another country who actually play the game, have qualified for finals previously, exist in the 21st Century, and could stage a tournament in summer temperatures such that ginger footballers won't simply turn to dust as soon as they step onto the pitch?

Unfortunately very few countries that can offer these benefits are absolutely swimming in the bloated profits of oil and are able to buy and sell FIFA officials quite so easily.

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