Poor old Yaya

You've got to feel sorry for Yaya Toure.  The poor old boy has just celebrated a birthday, and his club duly wished him a Happy Birthday on their Twitter page and presented him with a cake.

The bastards!

Yaya and his odious agent Dimitri Seluk consider the above gesture to be an insult of such shocking proportions that the player consider quitting Manchester City.  The twin facts that seemed to come out of this incident is that (a) All Yaya wanted was a handshake from his club Chairman, and (b) Roberto Carlos once received a Birthday Bugatti from his Club Chairman. 

Not that Yaya actually wanted his Club to buy him a £800,000 automobile.  Of course not.  His Agent just happened to mention this fact in passing...."He got a cake but when it was Roberto Carlos's birthday, the president of Anzhi gave him a Bugatti,"

Toure and Seluk's lack of a grasp on reality manifested further, "None of them shook his hand on his birthday. It's really sick."  Presumably not so sick that he'll give up any of his quarter of a million quid weekly pay packet....

Seluk then added, in a faintly you're-all-racists way, "Toure feels he was not regarded as one of the best players in the world because he is from Africa."

This spoilt player, celebrating his 31st birthday (and not his fifth birthday, despite all the evidence to the contrary)  has gone from threatening to leave Man City to wanting a guarantee of a lifetime contract, with, presumably, a handsome hike in pay to reflect his loyalty.  All in the space of 24 hours. 

It makes you wonder how long he would have lasted under Imraan Ladak?  The million pound a month wages would dry up pretty quickly.  Probably even quicker than the ink on his contract.  He could forget about the birthday cake, even if he suddenly decided he now wanted one.  And the birthday handshake would need to be swiftly followed by the birthday counting-of-the-fingers.