Sirs, in our continued efforts to stamp out overt political symbols from our valuable beautiful game, it has been brought to our attention by a club we cannot name, but were reformed after their previous incarnation died after under 20-years, the you have been displaying a Poppy logo for some time now.
We cannot allow this state of affairs to continue.
FIFA believe a backhander legitimate fine of 10,000 Swiss Francs for every transgression would be fair.
There are three of these accursed Poppies on each badge x 15 players, x 42 games x 144 years.
Consequently, we require by end of play tomorrow CHF 2,721,600,000.
However, we'll probably look the other way for a couple of grand and an old-style toblerone.