Whilst the identity of our next manager remains uncertain, one thing is for sure. It will NOT be Sam Allardyce. That is because Sam has already nailed his colours to the mast by making it clear that his future lies at one of the continent's top clubs.
"I am not suited to Bolton or Blackburn", he explained. "I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real Madrid".
"I would win the double or the league every time".
On hearing this news, Mourinho no doubt fingered his collar nervously and checked the termination clause in his contract.
After all, who can ignore the CV of a man cruelly overlooked whenever the England job falls vacant?
Having established Bolton as a top flight club by liberal use of sports science and flying elbows, he enjoyed an era of unparalled success at Newcastle that lasted all the way to the end of the pre-season friendlies, before he was the unfortunate victim of boardroom politics and an inability to win football matches.
It takes more than that to dent the confidence of a man who signs his autographs as "Big Sam" (why not - he created the name himself). Sam must wake up every morning and wonder how long the world can ignore his greatness. In fact "Sam the Great" has an even better ring to it.
Psychologists call this a delusional fantasy, we say that's just Sam being Sam.
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