Perhaps JP has the right idea...

Option One - Get back to the club mid July.  Sweat your b*llocks off running round and



"Oui, oui, oui....!"



 around Wickies Park.  Run through training routines every day in the blazing sun.  Miss out on the family holiday and get earache from 'er indoors.  Try to shift a bit of "summer love handle" in order to avoid a club fine.  Play several pre-season games where you bust a gut against players you can't get near in front of a couple of hundred whining bastards who bask in the sun complaining about your lack of effort.  Get constantly slagged off by the manager, ch

airman and the chubby online community.  Then you don't get into the starting XI anyway.

Option Two - Get married.  Have a l-o-n-g honeymoon.  Boff like a bunny.  Finally turn up for work a month late and score goals for fun.

I know which sounds best to me....!