Wanted - New Manager for rather demanding role

(1) The Club's Expected Qualifications /Talents

• No specific qualifications required, but any official Coaching Badges would be appreciated
• Looking for an applicant who can source good quality, locally based footballing talent

(1A) The KTFC Forum Expected Qualifications /Talents

• Must have at least 25 UEFA Coaching Badges
• Ideally some Champions League experience.  Preferably as a multiple winner
• Must be Marcus Law.  At least.  Or any Manager who has beaten the Poppies.  But basically Marcus Law

(2) The Club's Requirements regarding Style of Play

• Solid off-field organisational skills
• Ability to engage players
• Qualities of adaption with regard to formations
• Comfortable with local media

(2A) The KTFC Forum Requirements regarding Style of Play

• Only full Internationals to be considered for selection
• Style of football to be exact synthesis of 1970 Brazil / 2010 Spain / Barcelona (since Messi joined)
• Always make substitutions that have an immediate and positive impact on the game
• Never have the ball leave the floor during play
• Never drop any player we like

(3) The Club's Expectations

• Year of consolidation

(3A) The KTFC Forum Expectations

• Win every game by at least 5 clear goals
• Humble every opposition team
• Always make every tactical decision exactly how we'd do it.  Or else
• Be practically perfect in every way
• NEVER EVER PLAY ANY PLAYER OUT OF POSITION.  EVER.  EVEN IF IT MIGHT BENEFIT THE TEAM.  EVERY PLAYER MUST BE PLAYED WHERE THEY HAVE DECIDED IS THEIR FAVOURITE POSITION.  FOREVER.  OR ELSE.
• And don't think winning the league will be enough!

(4) The Club's Application Method

• Please drop your CV into the Club, or give Ritchie a call

(4A) The KTFC Forum Application

• You must apply in grovelling person to each and every member of the KTFC Forum
• If any member of the KTFC Forum is dissatisfied with anything to do with the applicant they can be blackballed
• The KTFC Forum reserves the right to criticise any facet of the applicant be it approach, tactics, quality, performance, looks and weight

Best of luck to everyone.  Really.  You'll need it.

Pep - good.  Prettier than Baillie.
But no Marcus Law....