Titan Up!

Normally the fact that this is Superbowl weekend would be a matter of complete indifference to Patgod. In the long history of this fanzine/blog I struggle to recall a single mention of American Football, and if there was I feel certain it would have been purely as a platform to scoff.

So why now? Well I’m still across the pond, I feel the urge to write about something, and from this distance I can’t add much to debate about the state of our pitch. Except it’s obviously terrible.

Winding back a bit, like many of a certain age I was briefly tantalised by this bizarre new sport when it first appeared on UK television screens in the early days of Channel 4. It was brash, it was bright and above all it was the only thing to watch on a Sunday teatime apart from Songs of Praise. Some took their interest further and you may remember the brief heyday of the Northants Stormbringers. For a season they resided at Rockingham Road and I recall wandering up there one Sunday afternoon to see a game, out of a mix of boredom and curiosity. Years later I discovered that Dave Tailby was part of that Stormbringers squad, which means there is a distinct possibility I parted with cash to watch DT perform. In fact I think I can remember him now, the only player who wore a KTFC bobble hat instead of a helmet.

I soon got this ridiculous American pastime out of my system and took no more interest until, quite recently, I found myself in Nashville Tennessee with some time on my hands. As I’ve previously reported, there are two big teams here – the Predators (ice hockey) and the Titans (NFL).  Soon there will be three when the MLS franchise hits the road, but let’s park that for now. So I went to see the Titans when I got the chance. Home for them is the Nissan (NEESARN) Stadium, holds about 68,000, which in local terms makes it a bit of a tiddler. The college team Tennessee State University  pack in up to 107,000.  Yes you read that right.  The sixth biggest stadium in the world, according to my perfunctory googling. To watch a students team. But maybe it says a bit about the absence of alternative forms of entertainment. For example in Tuscaloosa Alabama, pop 50,000, Alabama University draw crowds of 100,000. But what else is there to do in that part of Alabama, except check your gun collection and Trump bumper sticker.  

 

The first thing to know about NFL games is the game may start at say 3pm, but the pre-match eating and drinking gets under way a lot lot earlier. Even the DT era Travel Club were rarely on the piss at 9am, but the tailgate parties are up and running before then. You have to join a waiting list to get a space, it’s like the MCC. Hours before kick off the burgers are a grillin’ and the beers are a clinkin’. So much so that the urinals are overflowin’. When the actual game approaches people leisurely adjourn to the stadium, so slowly that I swear some were still comin’ in when others were a fixin’ to go.

When watching American sport you have to believe it’s tongue in cheek. How else to explain the martial drumbeat as the Titans enter the arena, with only about double the bombast of a typical WWF bout. Or the regular cutaways on the big screen to a guy dressed up like Leonidas in 300.  Titans! Spartans! Vegans!  Whatever unfolds on the field, you are entertained. It may be touchline antics, Kiss-Cam, highlights from elsewhere or video inserts. One of these featured Doug the Pug. Doug Doug Doug the Pug. Apparently the most followed pug in the world on social media.  AND a Nashville resident. Well alright!

The second thing to know about the NFL is be prepared for ridiculous player names. A few personal favourites include Barkevious Mingo, Equanimeous St Brown, Ha Ha Clinton Dix and of course, Hroniss Grasu.  Did their parents do it for a bet?  Plus there’s the uniquely NFL thing of dynastic surnames. The Titans boast not one but two players who have III on their shirts, enough to see off most opposition, but the Houston Texans rolled into town with Will Fuller V. The fifth.  It was hard to come back from that. Nevertheless the Titans made it into post season and then pulled off two away wins in the playoffs to get to the last four.  The local sports radio station filled hundreds of hours with discussion about that.  Whenever I tuned in, a couple of jocks were talking animatedly about the Titans prospects. Six hours later, another couple of jocks were continuing the discussion.  Points were hammered home with statements like, “to win this game, the Titans gotta MOVE the football”.   Sort of akin to Alan Shearer saying, “to win this game, England need to score more goals”. Which in fairness I’m pretty sure is an actual quote.

But the Titans couldn't make it three in a row and were eliminated by the Kansas City Chiefs at the last hurdle  Even a visiting Brit like me felt sad about that. Doug too.  

 

 

So this Sunday it’s Superbowl 54, sorry LIV, the Roman numerals just underlining how historic an event this is. Which in American terms it is. Anything that goes back more than 20 years starts to accrue a heritage status, a bit like Sky's coverage of the Premier League. But so what, when in Rome...  I’ll be watching, if I can’t get Songs of Praise on iPlayer.