Understandably most people have taken a dim view at the news that adult tickets for the forthcoming game with Luton will cost an eye-watering £19.00. Well, a dim view amongst Luton fans anyway. We've all got season tickets!
However, for those few amongst our readership with nothing better to do than wonder where all these enormous £19.00 entrance fees will go, we have found this breakdown, hastily scribbled on a discarded cigarette packet outside the Director's lounge.
£19.00 - Entrance Fee
£7.00 - Police Costs (could be extra if they actually get out of their van)
£5.00 - Rent to Cousins
£3.00 - Imraan's cut
£1.50 - Legal costs for Imraan's ongoing spat with James Caan over the billion pound sponsorship deal agreed with DRC Locums just before he sold up
£1.00 - Jay and Ray's cut
70p - Part payment of JP's Corby wages
36p - Second class stamp so Imraan can post his latest homework to his correspondence course covering rudimentary book-keeping, and suck-it-and-see financial planning
25p - Retainer for Morrell's dubious services
10p - Rent to Pickering
5p - Irthlingborough ducking stool upkeep
3p - Replenishing the toilet paper for the first time since the Direones left.
1p - Player's wages
Or
£18.95 - Imraan's last payday
5p - Big, double layer bin bag for Imraan to fill with money and sling over his shoulder at 5.55PM on New Years Day.
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